My Lunch with Chris

Yesterday afternoon, suddenly Chris appeared in my room while I was waiting to meet my academic advisor (shit, he always late every time-->refers to my advisor, not Chris). Whoa, he asked me for lunch today *happy happy*

So we went to Maranatha, to have some ‘nasi bakmoy’ and ‘bakut sayur asin’. Duh, the sun was so strong; it’s so hot out there. But when Chris by my side, everything was so cool, lolz.

We sat there with our ‘nasi bakmoy’ separating us. He sat in front of me, and we did have sweet conversations, ah, everything was so blur blur till I couldn’t even remember what our sayings were, hehehehe. When we were eating, I looked straight in his eyes, and he replied. And then we just smiled, and wander somewhere else, too ashamed to admit that we were looking at each other. Then we would continued chat, and started to looking at each other again, lol.

One thing I regret that time: He didn’t even know that I knew that he’s also gay, just like I am. (Don’t get flustered with my sentence ya)

I have been wishing that somehow, some time, somewhere, he would understand that I had feeling for him. I’m such a coward to not dare saying such things to him. Even if I have determined to do so, but still, it wasn’t enough. I don’t want to wait any more, cos it will bring more pain. But even if I tell him, I can’t bear to lose him if he denies it.

So that afternoon passed just that, nothing happened. But I’m sure, some time in the future, there will be a good chance for me.