Who Do You Think I Am ?

I am Animal, You are Animal, Aren't We?

2012-01-21T17:28:00.003+07:00

Love Triangle

Solitude

Insemination

Celebrating Life

Don't you think that the second picture kinda resembling sperms looking for its way to inseminate? Lol...
Another random shots using my phone camera :-)

Baggage Claim

2012-01-17T20:07:00.001+07:00

It's hard not to involve feelings, when you fool around with someone out of your league.

You tend to claim him for yourself. ~Chan~

Those words stabs me right there. Right on THAT spot.
I'm not hinting that I am fooling around though, so keep that thought for yourself :-)

Random Thursday Playlist

2012-01-12T12:30:00.002+07:00

For all of you who's also experiencing random Thursday afternoon..

Taio Cruz - Feel Again
Auburn - All About Him
Taio Cruz - I Can Be
Disney Rave - It's A Small World
Agnes Monica - Paralyzed Yes, I listen to Agmon, laugh all you want!
We The Kings - Say You Like Me

Feel Again

i believe that in time my heart will heal again
and i believe that in time my heart will feel again
so i keep on holding on (yeah)
so i keep on being strong (yeah)

cos i know one day i'm gonna feel again
i know one day i'm gonna feel again
and i know although my heart hurts now
i'll find a way to get up off the ground
cos i know one day i'm gonna feel again

i believe that this heart of mine can make it through
and i believe that my heart can make it over you
so i keep on holding on (yeah)
so i keep on being strong (yeah)

cos i know one day i'm gonna feel again
i know one day i'm gonna feel again
and i know although my heart hurts now
i'll find a way to get up off the ground
cos i know one day i'm gonna feel again

and though it's hard for me to breathe
and even harder to believe
i know that one day i'm gonna find
i'm gonna be just fine

cos i know one day i'm gonna feel again
i know one day i'm gonna feel again
and i know although my heart hurts now
i'll find a way to get up off the ground
cos i know one day i'm gonna feel again

爱

2011-12-28T09:29:00.000+07:00

From my recent visit to the beach...

Lomo Cameras

2011-12-21T19:54:00.000+07:00

Stairway to Heaven

Long and Windy Road

Lover's Gate

I like to toy around with my phone camera at times, and fortunately my "workplace" provides me with too much time to take plethora of pictures in between of my work. My personal favorite between these pictures is the last one, Lover's Gate.

I like to think that those two trees in the last picture as a couple, guarding the entry gate into another world, just behind the bridge, although you might not be able to see the bridge in the background. There is small sign there to warn people that there's a bridge ahead. My crews said that the sign was distracting, but I like it in the picture.

Love love this lomo camera filter, it gives the image a vibrant and dramatic feeling, don't you think? And it's just so amazing nowadays, with software like Instagram or Camera360 Ultimate (no I have no connection at all with the software publishers), you can take professional looking photos with just your mobile phone.

Cop Beau

2011-12-15T20:33:00.001+07:00

I wonder what it's like for having a cop as a boyfriend. You know, like Will's boyfriend in Will & Grace season finale :D
No need to be that hunky and gorgeous one though, decent one is enough. I always have a thing with guys in uniform, or clean-shaven guys, or clean-shaven guys in uniform, lol. That is such a turn on.
Why am I from out of nowhere talking about police boyfriend? Well, there's this police officer on duty in my workplace. His job basically is to secure the explosive bunker in where I work. Me, having to deal with explosives in our daily operation, for sure "have to" ask for his help opening and closing the bunker everyday.

"Good morning Mas Chris, have a job today?"

"Hello Mas Tono, ya I will have withdrawal today"

And then he will reply with the brightest of a smile that can be radiated from a cop under the sparkling sunshine. Okay, that's kinda like Edward Cullen in Twilight, lol, but I don't bluff. He always give me the sweetest smile when I approach the bunker every morning. Well, maybe not just to me, but still...
He's already 37 years old, reaching the mature adulthood stage, yum! Yet he still looked like he's in early 30. And his apparel choice also doesn't reflect his age. He has cute face, not that tall, but lean and slender abit muscular, with semi-mohawk hairdo. And he has super round butt from which I have to restrain my hand not to squeeze squeeze, haha...
"Mas Chris, you have a very nice fingers," said he one day. No kidding.
"Mas Tono has very long and thin fingers yourself." me answered, unsure where this conversation might lead to, lol.
"But I'd love to have fingers like yours, thicker than I have," he replied. For what? Stick it up your a**?? I can lend you a hand, if that's the case. Lol. Enough being a beyotch, Chris. Enough :b

He sometimes will tell how become a police officer can be very tiresome, his naughty naughty past, and how he always try to keep free and young spirit by mentoring juniors (I wonder what mentoring means, hee hee hee) in the police academy. I wouldn't mind if he gives me One of his mentoring session too, private one mind you. For me he's kinda different with the police officer stereotype that I think of. He's not one of those fat, old, fashion-missing officers with moustache and beard so long that you wish it should be used to mop the bathroom floor. Pretty much I have a nice time going to bunker while he's around.
Unluckily his schedule in the bunker had ended and he has to return back to the base, his position in the bunker is now filled with his junior (which I can tell, no less hotter than him, what's wrong with this place? Helloooooo, why can't they distribute cute police officers like him to Jakarta instead keeping 'em all here).

For all of you who wonders, he's straight with 3 daughters. But let's hope he might jump to the other side sometimes, haha.

I'm prepared to testify~ if loving you with all my heart's a crime, then I'm guilty~ *grin*

Professional Behavior

2011-12-06T05:51:00.001+07:00

Working in the field means that you are more exposed to vast variety of people. And the more you work along with them, the more you can draw a line and read their characters so you will automatically adapt to them and get the most out of them.
If you have ever worked with Indonesian worker, my friend, you will realize that there is one thing common about them all. Sometimes they cannot just differ professional and personal life.
Like this morning, one of my crews spoke to a contractor worker in the company where I work in now. He was just telling the contractor worker nicely (call him Tiko from now), how to do certain kind of work much more safely and suddenly this Tike bursted out in outrage, yelling on how he's always blamed for things and ranting on how he just wants to work for a living here.
Aiyaa.... He got PMS or what???!!
First, my crew just spoke nicely. Second, what he told Tiko was for his own safety while working. And why suddenly Tiko bursted out like that? Only God and him knows why. Tiko might felt that he was attacking him personally instead of helping him to cope up with the pace of work safely.
I mean, I hate it when faced people with inability to discuss in polite and educated manner, cannot differ which is personal and which is professional. Most of the time this kind of people will burst out and calling for help from their friends around. A trait that I have already realised ever since I was a small kid and faced out with whole group of less educated people.

And sadly working in the field also means that I will face this more and more.
And in my opinion, that's why my friend, Indonesian workers are more prone to get abused while working abroad.

Sweet Saturday Playlist

2011-12-03T19:24:00.000+07:00

Today is working day like usual, rather normal one. I stumbled upon a CD in the car drawer and put it into the CD player. Some of the songs were really nice and made me reflected back to the past, and some others just made me mellow. So here it is my friends, my playlist for today, enjoy!
1. Need You Know - Lady Antebellum
2. Mean - Taylor Swift
3. Somewhere Only We Know - Keane / Glee
4. One of Us - Joan Osborne / Glee
5. Shakespeare In Love (Remix) - Layla Kayliff

Somewhere only, somewhere only we know... *sing*

Naivety

2011-11-24T09:49:00.001+07:00

I can't stop thinking that I have somehow turned myself into somekind of Chen Handong lately...

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Lan_Yu_(film))

Too Much Time

2011-11-20T22:02:00.001+07:00

The biggest problem between me and Cedric is always about time. There's so little time for us to meet, we can only meet around 3-4 times a year. And there's less time to communicate everyday now that Cedric's already working. We barely chat just to ask how our day was and no more than that.
So here comes Steve into the picture.

At first, he's just an acquaintance of mine, no more than that. But lately he's been pushing deeper into my life, more than I want it to be. At first he does no more than daily greeting, wishing me a good day ahead, and those little things you get for someone who barely know. At first I didn't think about him too much, cos in my mind, he's just plain sweet and all. More and more he tries to be involved in my life, and when I ask him whether he has work to do or other things to pass time, he says no.

I mean, where in the world you would want a boyfriend whose job is only thinking about you all day long and nothing else?? He's working as freelancer btw. But isn't it what it means to be a freelancer, to organize your time more wisely so that you can be more productive? And not giving up work just because you are thinking about someone who's not even being closer than an acquaintance.

Don't get me wrong, I'm just playing nice to him thinking that his life is hard enough without me being harsh to him, but this annoys me. Really.

"Hi Chris, busy?"

"Hello Steve, ya kinda, how was your day today?"

"Nothing much, just stay at home, thinking about you all day, missing you." Whuat??

OMG, other guy might find it romantic, but not me definitely. Isn't it getting old after awhile? Or am I being heartless?

Is this just an irony because I want a boyfriend who has more time for me and I have this guy sent to me?

Change

2011-11-17T17:59:00.001+07:00

Ain't it funny how you think
You're gonna be OK
Till you remember things ain't never
Gonna be the same again
The same again

During this past 3 years, a lot of things have changed.
I had been graduated from college. I started working. I had a boyfriend.
I loved my job. I despised my boss. I meet a lot of new people. I traveled around places.

But somewhere deep within, I am still the same boy looking for his happiness...

I miss my old days though, memories are still, scattered all around the floor.
How much have I changed? Is it to the better or the worse?

I decide!

Psst!

2011-11-16T22:21:00.001+07:00

Yes my dear readers, after been on hiatus for 3 years ++, I have decided to write in my blog back..
Lots of bittersweet memories had been written in the past, and I hope a lot more will be added in upcoming years.
Special acknowledgment for my friend Chan, it's because of him I remember that I still have this blog buried somewhere, and it tickled me to open this blog and read it again.
So here my readers, I'm coming back :-)

谢谢爱 (xiè xiè ài) - Thank You Love

2010-02-18T11:41:00.000+07:00

雨下好乱半个夜晚你不在身边怎麽晚安
the rain is falling heavily into the middle of the night. I cannot sleep as you’re not by my side

天好蓝要和你一起看
I want to watch the clear blue sky with you

起风时有你来温暖
You are the one who gives me warmth when a wind blows over

心事简单一句说完
feelings from my heart are so simple that a simple sentence says all

要我们永远不会分开
wanting us to never seperate

有眼泪也因为你灿烂
tears are present but they glisten for you

你微笑因为我盛开
Your smile is because of me

要谢谢爱让你在我身边守护我的未来
I thank love for letting you stay by me and guard my future

有多少美丽奇蹟你手心里全都记载好期待
how many beautiful miracles, in the palm of your hand is where they are kept

要谢谢爱让我学会宽容学会体谅关怀
I thank you for letting me learn generosity, respect and care

像阳光陪著大海是平静还是澎湃都是爱
similar to how the sun will accompany the sea, whether it is calm or rough, it is still love

~Garden Sister~

Valentine's day has passed by... today I heard this song again. Suddenly I felt warmth inside which I cannot explain. It's like a reminder that now I've been walking on the same road hand-in-hand with Cedric for 2 years and 7 months. Still early? Or sounds long enough for you?
The last time I met him was May 2009, it's been a long 9 months waiting for both of us, but I still cherish him. I can still remember how we met for the first time, with his timid smile, his shyness, hiss soft kisses...
I love his honesty, I love how he asks my opinion before he makes a decision, I love the way he say "hello" on the phone, I love everything about my Cedric. Not to say, we have our ups and downs, we quarrel a lot. Mostly because I feel him often live in his own world, busy with himself, or just less care for me, but that's just him. In love I need to hold my ego, learn to accept instead of wanting someone to change. Nevertheless, I want this relationship to last forever, want my Cedric to grow old with me. The road is still a long way, but hopefully we can conquer all obstacles and find our happiness, together.

短暂的总是浪漫
The short-termed relationship is always romantic,
漫长总会不满
The long-term relationship is always full of dissatisfaction.

My Fabulous Solo Trip

2008-10-31T10:20:00.010+07:00

I just have the right opportunity to write about it now, haha…

We (me and my 3 other friends) reached the Solo Balapan Station, the main train station in Solo in the morning of 1^st August. Completely blur of the situation and without any relatives, we decided to rent some kind of taxi to go directly to the factory office, where we were going to finish our internship. The factory is situated in big village outside Solo town, called Kemiri Village. It was, in fact, part of Karanganyar regency, beside the Solo-Sragen highway.

When we reached the factory, it was a total mess, with people in the factory mistaken us for tourist searching for airport because of massive luggage in hand. Geez! The factory itself was pleasant, if it wasn’t good, it was neat and meticulously arranged, since it is also currently biggest plant in South East Asia. Everything was nice, except Solo is darn hot! The sun stung our skin while we walked that afternoon. Lucky we got the dorm right-away, since we cannot imagine where to stay for the day. We practically were out of nowhere, half an hour from Solo town, plus we didn’t have any vehicles to bring us there. Here, I show you what my place looked like…

Yes, we had wet rice-field a.k.a. sawah right in front of the dorm, haha…

One thing I observed about Solo people is that they are very humble, friendly, and helpful. My dorm owner for instance, he let us borrow his car and motorcycle on the first day we met! Wow! Surely people here don’t know any temptation, ahaha… And my most favorite thing of all is EVERYTHING WAS SOOOO CHEAP! Haha… With same sum of money I live in Bandung for one month, I can stay in Solo for almost 3 months, wah! You can even find breakfast of nasi pecel komplit with only Rp 1000, unbelievable isn’t it? Where else in this part of this world can you find such a cheap price for food? And believe me, the pecel was very delicious, even Rp 10000’s pecel in Jakarta cannot beat that one *shake head*

One of might be few of bad things happened while we were in Solo would be my team friend, mr stonehead. Actually I wasn’t very close with him at college, but I heard few rumors about him being so unconditionally perfectionist and opportunist (meaning he will try, by any chance, drag you down with him when something goes bad for him). And they all were right! Only FIRST FEW DAYS after we arrived, he already protested that he’s being the one with unclear task about report. You see, my internship supervisor at campus assigned us with specific task to do, since the factory is very big and consisted of few different plant areas. So it was obvious that we cannot report ALL the plants within one month. So he assigned us each to report about only one particular area. And mr stonehead, being the one given the task to report the smallest plant there, ngerasa nggak rela and insisted that we all should report about the WHOLE factory. HELLOOOOO, there was someone who actually tried to be graduated soon here! (it was me FYI). And the funny part was, he himself even addressed us, the rest of the group, as opportunist and selfish. And I was just like “Kok dia bisa nggak ngerasa kalo dia sendiri yang begitu sih??” Gosh, I redefined the meaning of word “selfish” and “opportunist” in my lexicon after I met him.

And as a plus, he is kinda queeny and selfish! Duh! Couldn’t imagine there was someone who was not gentle AT ALL to the girls. Saw my other friends, ms itje and ms nenep brought some heavy cotton bed, he even didn’t have initiative to help. Letting the girls do the heavy chores. As a cherry-on-top, we must share one room in that dorm! One month! Worked with him was hard enough and I still had to bear living with him for a month flat. ARGH….
But we did revenge on him once, lol. Well, we intentionally pushed him into one small pond on his birthday. Actually it was ms nenep who pushed him hard enough until him finally “kecebur” (it was akumulasi dendam for her, lol). But you know, it’s not an ordinary pond at all… Sometimes people in small village still have their “big business” a.k.a. BOKER on the river, since they don’t have appropriate MCK. And the pond we pushed mr stonehead into was such of a pond, where people threw shit every morning. Yes, you can imagine how it was like. YIKES! Must be an unforgettable birthday bash EVER for him! Ewwwww…. And to add more the funny part, the next morning after mr stonehead got “kecebur”, he got acquaintance with someone from the neighborhood. Then I told him that the one he was just known about is the one who threw shit every morning in that pond. Oh, how I wish I can take the picture of his face when he heard that, haha…

Of course, it’s not “afdol” to visit Solo without visiting famous places there… (And this is actually what I’ve wanted to write about since two months ago, haha).

Only two days since we arrived, we went to Solo using public bus for a little shopping and touring around the town. If you happen to visit Solo, don’t forget to drop by at these famous traditional markets there, PASAR KLEWER and PASAR GEDE. Pasar Klewer is really famous all around Java Island for its Batik crafts and fabrics. People from Jakarta and Yogyakarta usually redistribute the Batik from Pasar Klewer to outer parts of Java, even exported it oversea. And there, as long you can barge in Javanese language, you would certainly find cool stuff with unreasonably cheap price. Take a Batik shirt for example; you can obtain a decent one for only Rp 20000, while normally it will take more than Rp 50000 in other places. While Klewer is a Batik central, Pasar Gede is more like foods and fruits central. There you can always find something for your friends, like traditional snacks, or maybe fresh fruits with such an affordable price. As for traditional snack, Solo is well-known for its “intip”, snack made from dried cooked rice (FYI, the best intip of all is actually the one made from burnt rice at the bottom of the stove).

A week passed by, we were introduced with one of the residents of the village, Mr. Ward. He was so kind, offered to brought us around Solo for the weekend. Didn’t want to miss the chance, we accepted the generous offer. We headed toward Keraton Mangkunegaran, the Solo’s “emperor” house, or you may say a castle. But nowadays, being a Keraton member in Solo is a mere status. People don’t care whether you’re blue-blood or not. There is two “emperors” in Solo, one is Mangkunegaran, whose castle we visited that time, and other one is… Paku Alam. Paku Alam’ Keraton one is more extravagant than Mangkunegaran one, they have more money I think, lol. Solo used to be governed under feudalism system, and there were two (or even more?) sovereign in Solo. Here are the Keraton pictures…

After the not-so-awesome Keraton tour, (btw one of the “abdi dalem – some sort of servant” in that Keraton, yelled at me for standing on the emperor’s stage, darn him!) we went to fill our hungry stomach. Talking about culinary delight in Solo, we can’t forget about Galabo. It is located in front of Beteng Trade Center, on Slamet Riyadi road, and it’s only open from sundown (about 6 pm) until midnight. Why? Because in the afternoon, Slamet Riyadi is actually a big and busy road, but to attract tourist from all around, the governor has introduced this some kind of food festival. In the evening, there are many food vendors, selected by mr governor himself from all around Solo. So you will find many famous one there, such as Oseng-oseng Mercon (chicken or beef sauted in “cabe rawit”, superhot!), Bandeng Segar Ibu Mar (I recommend this one), and many more. About 200-300 metres of the road covered by food stalls. Nice! And of course, not so expensive compared to food courts in Jakarta or Bandung (that expensive Paskal Hypersquare, lol). Here are the pictures of the place, censored, lol…

To be continued…

我不配 - Wo Bu Pei

2008-10-29T23:02:00.003+07:00

Late at night, not sleeping alone in my dorm, and winamp chose this random song for me, 我不配. This is one of Zhou Jie Lun’s songs that I adore the most. Not only the song, but also the clip. The name of the girl in that clip is Alice Tzeng (Okay Ed, I've edited it, puas puas? Lol, just kiddin'), she also played in 秘密 Mi Mi (Secret) movie, with Jay Zhou if you haven’t noticed.

What a perfect Asian beauty she is, don’t you agree? Somehow she reminds me of my ex, M. She kinda resembles Alice in someway I couldn’t explain. Maybe that’s also why I noticed Alice on the first time. She is my stereotype of how a woman should be, calm and tender. And she also has that oh-so-beautiful neck, what a turn on >.<

Enjoy the song… I provided the translation for you here. Sorry if I had mistakes while translating :p

这街上太拥挤
This street is too crowded
太多人有秘密
Too many people have secrets
玻璃上有雾气谁被隐藏起过去
There is condensation on the glass, who is concealed in the past?
你脸上的情绪
The emotion on your face
在还原那场雨
Is restoring that period of rain
这巷弄太过弯曲走不会故事里
This alley is too warped, we can't get back into the story

这日子不再录
These days are no longer green
有斑驳了几句
Mottled with a few words again
剩下搬空回忆的我在大房子里
Leaving me behind with empty memories in the big house
电影院的座椅
The seats in the movie theatre
隔遥远的距离
Are separated very far apart
感情没有对手戏你跟自己下棋
Feelings without scenes together, you're playing chess with yourself

还来不及, 仔仔细细, 写下你的关於
Still it's too late to carefully write down things about you
描述我如何爱你, 你却微笑的离我而去
Describing how I love you, yet you smile and leave me

这感觉, 已经不对
This feeling is already not right
我努力, 在挽回
I try my best to save it
一些些, 应该体贴, 的感觉
Some of the considerate feelings that should’ve been given
我没给, 你嘟嘴
I didn’t give, you pout
许的愿望很卑微
The dream you made is very petty and low
在妥协, 是我忽略
We're compromising, I neglected you
你不过要人陪
All you wanted was someone to be with you

这感觉, 已经不对
This feeling is already not right
我最后, 才了解
I only understand at the very end
一页页, 不忍翻阅, 的情节
The pages of the plot I can't bear to turn over
你好累, 你漠背
You are very tired, you recite
为我掉过几次泪
You cried for me a few times
多憔悴, 而我心碎, 你受罪
You're so languished;
And I'm heartbroken, you're suffering
你的美, 我不配
Your beauty, I'm not worthy of it

Maling Teriak Maling!

2008-10-28T16:47:00.002+07:00

“So yeah, some people may have noticed that I’m bisexual. And I don’t really care if they already knew, as long as they don’t misuse the information. Though I can’t guarantee they will do fair enough in this case.”

Thanks for mr chocolate who has been, with one of his posts, kindly enough to indirectly remind me of this interesting story that has happened while my blog was on hiatus. I’ll just write them now while waiting for the rain to stop outside (I don’t bring an umbrella T.T)

One of my gay friends is very paranoid of being noticed as gay, even by other gay people. Cos he traumatized that the guy will spread the rumors of him being gay and people will run away in scare (because as I have written once in this blog several months ago, some of straight people thinks that gay is CONTAGIOUS). It’s just funny when you see this bad guy smsing him once
“Hahahah, I know that you’re gay, and your name is XXX XXX, and you stay at XXX XXX, so what do you think I will do?”

The only thing that came through my mind at that time was “So what??” You see, the position is him being gay but he still treats others for being gay. Or in Indonesian term, it’s like jeruk makan jeruk, right? It’s not like I suggest that every gay people should be friends with each other; that will be impossible like once in a blue moon. But at least have some respect for others, man! It’s everyone’s own decision for come out or not to come out, and you don’t have the right to treat him like that. Do you guys reckon the term hate crime? Yeah, by treating someone like that, that bad guy is being a homophobic prick, but it is even worse because he is actually homosexual himself. At least don't say, "Dia kan gay! Kasian ya!" when you are actually gay yourself. So low.

I’ve noticed it for quite some time that MANY OF gay people in Indonesia is often have that particular characteristic. I even met such people myself. But yes, I haven't heard such cases happened from other countries. Hmmm...

After Few Months of Vacuum

2008-10-22T15:37:00.000+07:00

And suddenly tonight I feel like to once again start my writing journey in this blog. Partly because I don’t have someone to talk to tonight, while I feel all bored alone in my dorm.
Regretting my decision to have long distance relationship with Cedric? Nay, I still cherish him as much. Only need someone here to talk to. My best friend, Mr. Blurry, apparently fallen asleep, is having very long nap since he didn’t reply my sms. I asked him to go out with me tonight actually, just to have some mood change. But yeah, he is always so discouraging, so lazy to move his ass out sometimes.

When I checked my blog last night, I found an interesting entry in my chatbox, posted by some guy called chocolate, “Are you Christian Adi? If yes, please delete this message ASAP”. So blunt, isn’t he? Hmmm, I just wonder what Adi’s reaction to read that his name is mentioned in one of gay blog, heh heh. I knew this Adi guy. I think he’s quite famous on the neighborhood. And I guess I also know the one who posted that entry into my chat box, just some random guessing though. But the nick chocolate rings a bell for me in some weird way. Hmm, I wonder what will happen next:-p Adi, are you reading? Nevertheless, what I thought about this matter is mentioning someone’s name like that in public place is obviously a violation against Gay Discretion Pact, lol, if there is actually such pact. But yes, you cannot flaunt someone’s name in public, must respect one’s privacy you know.

Anyway, graduation day is coming. Time flew so fast eh? First I got accepted in the university, and now, I’ve finished my study, ready to make first step toward whole new world, the working world… Pray for me ok?

If That's OK With You

2008-01-28T23:07:00.000+07:00

Here guys, one of my favorite songs by Shane Ward. I recall that I have posted about him once here. He’s cute tho, heh heh.

You know, I just watched this movie (yeah, again, spending time watching movie, haha) entitled “Boy Culture”, about a gigolo, who’ve been living together with 2 other gays. And he suddenly realized that he falls in love with one of his roommate. Yeah, whole film is about how they struggle to be together, quite decent, but not special.

Funny why I can suddenly remember Shane Ward after watching the movie. The fact is, the actor playing there is so cute, with his sideburn, just like Shane Ward, haha *shake head*
Guess I am really attracted to guys with sideburns >.<

Enough with ramblings, then well, enjoy… (I like the dance btw, heh heh)

Title : If That's Ok With You
Artist : Shayne Ward

I love the way that you look without your make up
I had a girl before we met but we broke up
There’s something 'bout you that makes me want to step up
Step up and be with u (If that's ok with you)

We'll keep the neighbors awake too late too late
cos imma make you feel so good thats how i see it happening
yeah, we'll keep the neighbours awake too late too late
cos baby I wanna step up and be with you (If that's ok with you)

* I'm gonna make you feel like you are heaven on earth
I'm gonna thank your mother just for giving you birth
I'm gonna wanna hold you in my arms when you cry
If that's ok with you (If that's ok with you)

I wanna keep your toothbrush at my apartment
make a second set of keys and ask you to move in
I'm not crazy, I know what I'm getting myself in
I wanna live with you (If that's ok with you)

If that's ok with you (If that's ok with you ) yeah yeah
We'll keep the neighbors awake too late too late
I wanna love you this way that way this way
We'll keep the neighbors awake too late too late
I wanna love you this way that way this way

If that's ok with you (If that's ok with you )
If that's ok with you (If that's ok with you )

Another Pleasurable Day

2008-01-23T21:25:00.000+07:00

Well, new day has come, but still missing Ty, lol. It’s not like he’s my boyfriend tho, but miss miss miss him. Yeah, without his presence, dorm will never be the same again.

I don’t really know what to write, just my usual rambling from today. Didn’t really feel like to go outside today. It was sunny and hot weather all afternoon, and raining like mad in the evening. I was keeping myself busy with playing That Nintendo DS game, Elite Beats Agent, US version. It’s like following the music and taps the touch-screen according to the beats. Here, I give you some pictures from my game. Played for few hours and got frustrated, stuck with the boss, that I kept play and play but cannot defeat. Heard from my dear dear that the Japanese version has more fancy music, hee, later download it from the net.

Bath bath bath, and found this movie I’ve downloaded months ago, Latter Days. Have you guys ever heard? It’s a gay-themed movie, about this young gay guy, named Chris(tian), and one Mormon missioner guy. Wrote the synopsis for you all here…

Aaron Davis (Steve Sandvoss) and Christian Markelli (Wes Ramsey) are the two most opposite people in the world. Aaron is a young Elder (or a Mormon missionary) who wants to do his family proud and is quite passionate about his religion and film. Christian is a shallow WeHo waiter/party boy who only looks forward to bedding a new guy every night. After Aaron and three other missionaries move into the apartment across from Christian, his friends bet him $50 that he can't get one of them to jump into the sack, so he instantly latches onto Aaron. There are two problems, though - Christian is falling in love with Aaron and the Mormons are not the biggest fans of the homosexual community. Once Aaron is discovered, the two have to go through trials of regret, loss, perseverance, and forgiveness if they both want to get to the thing that matters to them most: each other.

It is a must-see movie! Believe me. It has its cheesy parts, but they’re all tolerable. The plot I think is very close to our daily life, especially for those who are Christians. Watch it, I recommend. Moreover, this film has more to offer than just a really engrossing plot and cute actors. Try to listen to the music compositions. Wah, it all were beautifully arranged for such a movie. Especially that one entitled Tuesday 3:00 a.m. sung by Rebekah Jordan. Will try to look for the album on the net.

Pleasurable day was it?

Goodbye Ty!

2008-01-21T22:14:00.000+07:00

Along with the approach of this new semester, the wind of life brings some old things go away and new things coming up. Yeah, one of the things that go away is my dormmate, Ty.

I recall that I ever wrote about my dorm several times and of course, in particular, about my friend Ty. Well, he’s one year older in same major as I am, and he’s been my dormmate since, as long as I can remember, my first year. Although he’s one year older, we can always talk freely toward each other, never have such superiority feelings between us. In fact, he’s the only one I can always talk to when at dorm. We, at dorm, once called him name “Little Kid with Big Gusto”, yeah, since Ty has kinda small body for guy of his own age, but always eager to do something daring, lol.

To me he’s more than just a friend; he’s like a buddy. Yeah we shared many times together, discussing ‘bout computer games, shared music collections, talk about girls, book-swapping (we both share great interests in books and literatures), watching movies, go to Church, have meals, cooking late suppers, monthly shopping, and all those late night discussing-sessions talking ‘bout nonsense, lol. He’s also place where I usually borrow DVDs, haha. Yeah, he’s the closest friend I have at dorm. Ty never took me for granted (unlike my other dormmate, K, bleah!), that’s why I always like to share with him.

But now Ty has already graduated, and looking forward to pursue his next degree in China. Few days ago he moved out from our dorm. Since our dorm is so small (yeah, it only consists of four bedrooms), it’s more like a homestay place, so the absence of one person gives greater effect. Even my dorm owner can feel that the dorm is much quieter than the state when Ty was here.
I occasionally keep looking at his room, and imagining that I see streaks of light from there, sigh. Missing him already. Lol, it’s not like that Ty has passed away or what, but still feel bitter a little. I am a soft-hearted guy, you know, haha :-)

Good bye bro… wish to see you again!
Just wanna say good luck also with your study there!

Visit Indonesia Year 2008

2008-01-17T14:06:00.000+07:00

Ya, after staying at home and watching TV all day, I found this nice advertisement on TV, about Indonesia tourism resurrection.

Visit Indonesia Year 2008 – I can say this one is one more of such a delirious program legalized by that Tourism and Culture Minister. Haizzzzzzz, can’t he see that our infrastructures aren’t ready for that? Geez, I am questioning where that moronic existence got such an inspiration.
One instance, if you go to our international airport, Soekarno-Hatta, I fancy to see you try struggle out safely from there. Believe me, I myself felt ashamed when I first greeted my sweetheart Cedy when he first stepped in Indonesia and he saw that airport. Contrasting Changi in Singapore, which is prominent for its safety and well-arranged form, Soekarno-Hatta is veeeerrry messy in many ways.
Out from the arrival gate, you will be greeted by many people offering you transportation service; none of them is legal though. If you accept, usually you’ll end up being deceited, paying twice of the normal value, or even leaving you deserted in some strange place with no money or else. You should walk around the lobby (which is kinda afar) and look for Silver Bird taxi (the safest taxi in Indonesia, as far as I know) or better ask for your relative to pick you up.
And that’s not enough, on the arrival gate, there are people who offering to give you direction to the receptionist or help you with ticketing, of course not for free, even if you didn’t ask for their help from the beginning.
So, my advice, never let yourself alone in the airport. Even local people can get deceited, no less the foreign tourist one.

That’s only from the tourism department, here is another example of how they work in Indonesian government:

- The prices of basic needs, such as eggs, wheat flour, rice is rocketing.

- The price of soybeans also now rocketing. Soybean is main ingredient of tofu and tempe (fermented soybean) which are primary food for many low-economic people (for its cheap price and so). Now after the price are all rising. How could they eat?
FYI, in Indonesia there are still many people living with cost under US$ 1/day.

- That idiotic and hastily executed conversion from kerosene to LPG. If people cannot even buy food, how can you expect them to buy that expensive LPG?

“Indonesia on the Move” ya, that’s the title of the book wrote by and launched by our dear beloved President, Mr Susilo Bambang Yoedhoyono (did I write his name right?).
Self-contented eh you, Mr President?
Isn’t that sufficient enough that this nation was humiliated by idiotic people who think that they’ve actually found new kind of renewable fuel, so proud for their discovery, as called the fuel as “Minyak Indonesia Bersatu (MIB) – United Indonesia Fuel” and launched their ‘invention’ at the Global Climate Change Meeting in Nusa Dua Bali last December, legalized by Mr President himself. Even TIMES International chortled in laugh when wrote about that launching.

Please Mr President, don’t close you’re eyes and only made decisions based by macro-scaled data gathered by so-called Statistical Bureau. I believe your eyes are blinded by people surround you who filtered the bad data and give you only the sweet polished ones. See the society in the real life, and you’ll see, life is not as beautiful as you may think. Indonesia on the Move……..yes, but move downwards!

I have no mean of being skeptical though, moreover, it’s not usual me, that I get concern in such kind of issues, but yah… sometimes I also feel obligated because I live here.

See you then…

6 Months Anniversary

2008-01-15T07:56:00.000+07:00

Well, today is our 6^th month’s anniversary of me and Cedy together. I cannot wonder how time flew so fast. It seems like we meet just yesterday. Having such a relationship is not easy, but still, we cherish our every moment together.

So much have passed, and yet so much still wait for us on the future. Hope I can be a good boyfriend for you, sweetheart…

Ya, it’s just like a scrap of old Boyzone’s song, Everyday I Love You
'Cos I believe that destiny
Is out of our control (don't you know that I do)
And you'll never live until you love
With all your heart and soul.

It's a touch when I feel bad
It's a smile when I get mad
All the little things I am
Everyday I love you

Let’s continue our journey together. Let us be… dear dear :-)

Jackass!

2008-01-14T20:24:00.000+07:00

AS what the title represents, it really is JACKASS!

Yeah, while waiting for next semester to start, I’m stuck here in my dorm without something particular to do. Go back to Jakarta is not possible this week since we (me and Ed) still have to work on our research. Those tiny little funguses are still growing and need more attention these days. So there I was, watching random movies at dorm, I even watch some dumb stunt act like Jackass. Eeeewww, it was one of the grossest things I’ve ever seen…

People shitting on the doll house *skip skip skip*
Drinking beer poured through Indian longest-fingernail-guy fingernail *skip skip skip*
Hitting golf ball on crotch *skip skip skip*
Driving motorcycle with a midget on head *skip skip skip*
Toying around with cannibals in India *skip skip skip*
Eh, already finished??!! How come?

Cannot imagine why this movie is so popular in US. Gross. *shake head*

Whilst I’m still elaborating on this moronic movies subject, I also got this movie, American Pie 6 from my friend. Actually The American Pie Series wasn’t that bad. But after they released the American Wedding (the third of the series, maybe)… I think that the title has been commercialized too much. The fourth and fifth movies (continued with this 6^th movie) are so BLEAH. The plot is aroused around this one member of Stiffler family. Only exploit boobs and girls (why not boys instead, haha). Every few minutes, you will see girls dancing (NAKED) on sororities houses, or playing on top of bar. I dunno if this movie really depicts the young American life. If yes, then I simply won’t like it there for sure.

Huff…

Tako

2008-01-09T10:08:00.001+07:00

See what my dear Cedy sent for me as Christmas present…^^

He sent me a very cute soft toy for me all the way from Singapore, hee hee. I decided to give him (or her) name Tako, derived from takoyaki, a Japanese side dish made from octopus which is my favourite, lol. Yeah, now you all know, I love food made of octopus and squid so much >.<

On its label, it said like this, ” Hachiko [so actually, it is named Hachiko, lol, but I like Tako much better] lives with her friends at Taco island. She is natural born Gemini [me, me!] with split personality [me, me, me!]. She turns into blue when she is in the water and turns back to pink when she is on land. She is shy, innocent, and sweet when she is in pink [am I like that?]. However do watch out when she turns blue! She gets cranky, mischievous, and irritating! [haha, this is sooo me!]”

Thank you dear dear, cherish Tako so much *hug hug*

Yikes!

2008-01-07T17:43:00.000+07:00

Lol, okay, I cannot stand to watch the next seasons of Dante’s Cove.

Definitely NOT the serial I will watch ever again.

First season is not that bad actually, with cute guys starring as Kevin as eye-candy. But when I started to watch the beginning of the second season… Eeeee, I can say, I can act very much much much much better than that, haha. Way too crappy.

Mmm, while I’m looking something to killing time, I made the list of series I recommend to watch, here it is:
1. The Nanny, starred as Fran Drescher as a nanny (She was also the producer of this show, with his husband, blablabla Drescher). Very witty and fresh! No wonder they give this serial an Oscar (or whatever award they may give).
2. Will & Grace, situation comedy with gay spices here and there. *sigh* wish I can get a faghag like Grace in real life, lol. Still cannot get the complete seasons tho.
3. Dawson’s Creek, whee, definitely one of my favorites teen serials of all time, cute guys, beautiful place, gay love, what can I ask for more…hehehe. Actually this is where I first know what “gay” and “gay relationship” means. There is this one actor named Kerr Smith, he played as Jack McPhee, a [CUTE] gay guy with abit sober sister. He was my idol after all. I even got an e-mail account with his name on it as well, lol.
4. Queer as Folks, veeeerryyy straight forward in revealing gay community life. Although I must say, it’s abit out of control life (or it’s just me?). But yeah, it started get boring after the 3rd season so I didn’t look for more.
5. Dharma & Greg, it’s about one couple living together if I’m not mistaken. The girl one is a yoga freak or something like that. I cannot recall what it is all about, all that I can remember that this is a funny one >.<

Yah, most of my favorites are situation comedy, so you know what type of person I am, like to laugh laugh laugh alot. I actually like horror ones as well, if I can get them. But rarely found nice horror series here, boo….

So, see you then…

There Is Someone Who Actually Remember Me!!!

2008-01-04T20:18:00.000+07:00

Lol, yeah, you all know that I have been suspending this whole blogging activity since about one year ago, only write once or twice in few months. But… there is someone who is still remembering me and my unattractive blog!!!!!! Ya… none other than dearest Kyle!! Hohoho. This is really touched *sob sob*
How are you Kyle? Miss reading your blog again. Maybe you can add me on friendster or facebook? Hee hee

Ah ya my dear readers, as I stated yesterday that I have this relationship problem with my dear Cedy… well.. I must admit, I can be a real drama queen sometimes. It is already hard for us both to have such a really long distance relationship without me being such a drama queen. Yah, I do really need much affection sometimes, especially when I feel alone. Gee, miss him so. But we already talked yesterday, and solved the problem. I think its one point of having a relationship, we have problems, and we work on it together… I still cherish him so much^^

By the way, I bought these seasons of Dante’s Cove. Ya I know I know it’s already like… so two years ago, lol. I always being so late in watching an interesting serial (Recall how I was really late in watching Queer as Folk? Lol. It’s already the fourth season coming when I started watching it). Here, for you, my dear readers, I copied the synopsis from the website, hoho, so you can decide whether you want to watch it or not (if you haven’t, hoho)…
Season 1
As the season begins, Kevin Archer leaves an abusive home to follow his boyfriend, Toby, to Dante’s Cove, a remote tropical island populated by beautiful young residents, gay and straight. Unknown to Kevin, Dante’s Cove has a dark and dangerous history, and he is unwittingly being drawn into a web of supernatural intrigue.
Arriving at the Hotel Dante (built in the 1840’s and recently converted into apartments) Kevin meet his new housemates: Van, a mysterious lesbian artist drawn to the dark side of human nature, Cory, a carefree party-boy who’ll hook up with any guy who’s interested, and Adam, Toby’s straight best friend from high school – who is secretly in love with Toby.
At first Kevin and Toby’s reunion is wonderful. But soon, Kevin begins hearing a strange voice coming from within the hotel – a voice that is summoning him. Drawn to the basement, Kevin stumbles upon Ambrosius Vallin, an immortal warlock imprisoned for over a hundred and fifty years.
In 1840, Ambrosius was engaged to marry Grace Neville, a powerful practiotioner of “Tresum”, an ancient supernatural religion. When Grace found Ambrosius making love with another man, she killed his lover and cursed Ambrosius to an eternity locked in the Dante’s basement. Only the kiss of a young man would set Ambrosius free.
Having successfully made Kevin hear his call, Ambrosius summons him to the basement and forces Kevin to kiss him. The kiss from Kevin breaks the curse. Not content to be young and
free again, Ambrosius decides Kevin is his destiny, and will stop at nothing to have him. He puts a spell on Kevin, and also turns Cory into a sort of personal slave and spy so that he can keep an eye on Kevin. But Grace won’t allow Ambrosius to find love or happiness, and uses her magic to murder Kevin. Ambrosius, who learned Tresum’s powers while locked in the basement, succeeds in reviving Kevin.
Meanwhile, searching the historical society for an explanation of the strange happenings in Dante’s Cove, Toby and Van find the Book of Tresum written in a strange ancient language. Van is able to cast a spell from the book and break the curse on Kevin, freeing him from Ambrosius’ hold. It seems like a happy ending, until Ambrosius uses Cory to lure Toby away from the sleeping Kevin, and throws Toby into the ocean to drown.

Season 2
As we return to Dante’s Cove for its second season, we find Toby and Ambrosius continuing to battle for Kevin’s love.
Toby and Kevin struggle to build a relationship while contending with the ordinary obstacles of jobs, troublesome exes, and well-built hookups, as well as the extraordinary obstacles from Ambrosius and his mission to gain Kevin’s love.
Van, having found in Season One that she has Tresum power abilities, asks Grace to become her teacher. Meanwhile, her girlfriend, Michelle, is frightened of Van’s magical/dark side, and Van will wind up paying a high personal price for choosing to continue her Tresum studies.
Grace Neville returns to torment Ambrosius. In agreeing to teach Van Tresum, she has a hidden agenda of her own, as does gorgeous newcomer Diana Childs, whose past, and future, is inextricably intertwined with Grace and Ambrosius’.
Other new characters include Marco, the handsome owner of the local outdoor bar H2Eau; bad-boy Kai, who can be counted on to get his customers whatever they need, legal or illegal, and Colin, who runs the island’s private sex club, and conceals a much darker secret.
The residents of the Hotel Dante will deal with addiction and insanity, love and infidelity, coming out and breaking up. One will die, and another will kill. Some, like Adam, will face hard truths about themselves. Others, like Toby, will face hard truths about those they love. Just like a family, the residents of Dante’s Cove fight over the little things, but they are there for each other when it matters. And as the Solstice approaches and magical forces gather strength, they’ll have to make hard choices and ultimate sacrifices.

Season 3
America’s sexiest guilty pleasure is back for a third season. Season three picks up as resident witch Grace (Tracy Scoggins) makes her way back to Dante’s Cove seeking revenge on her sister Diana (Thea Gill). Meanwhile, a group of newcomers are sure to stir up the lives and relationships of the mostly gay and lesbian residents of the infamous Hotel Dante.
Power is shifting on Dante’s Cove as an enigmatic new force makes its presence known. Bro’s (William Gregory Lee) powers mysteriously begin to disappear, while Diana is curiously drawn to the developing force. Things are turned even more on their head when a former resident of Dante’s Cove returns to the island and wreaks havoc on the lives of those around her.
Budding romantic ties are also tested as old loves attempt to rekindle fires that once burned. In order to fight off the new force taking over the island, an unlikely trio joins forces to restore the balance of power. The season comes to a soaring climax as the fate of Dante’s Cove and all of its resident could lie in hands of one unsuspecting resident.
Grace Neville returns to torment Ambrosius. In agreeing to teach Van Tresum, she has a hidden agenda of her own, as does gorgeous newcomer Diana Childs, whose past, and future, is inextricably intertwined with Grace and Ambrosius’.

Do You Love Me?

2008-01-03T16:41:00.001+07:00

Is one question I want to ask to someone right now…
I do feel alone sometimes and just want someone who can understand me.
Times I’ve been thinking, was I moving too fast for saying 我喜欢你 – I love you?

Even though I always saying that love is not only to say, but also to feel.
Well, love needs affection and care too. And it’s not a indulgence to show love.

Cedy dear… Where are we going now?

认真的雪

2007-12-17T12:37:00.000+07:00

Doubts and Fear

2007-10-11T19:30:00.000+07:00

Sorry my dear readers, for the lack of update these few months. Well, one of the reasons is my computer is still hasn’t been repaired yet, bleah. And I don’t like to use public computer on campus to write blog entry, hehe.

My relationship with Cedy goes really well I think, especially after we met in Jakarta on Sept 21. That was our first meeting though. So sad we cannot meet too often since we are actually separated one hour flight away. He’s in Singapore, while I’m in Jakarta Indonesia.

Since few days ago, we’ve been talking about the future of our relationship. Well, yes, it is indeed a sensitive matter to talk about, since our relationship is just budding, but I think it is necessary sometimes, we don’t live only for tomorrow, do we?
Yeah, we both always afraid that we move too fast in this relationship, practically it is just barely 3 months since we make our way together. We already agreed that this relationship not going to be easy, we are still living with our parents, we have this different citizenship, and so many obstacles we still have to overcome. I know that.

I think that he kinda hesitate about this. He said that he cannot wait for something unknown forever and he want a relationship where we can spend our time together. I understand. And as for me, I also don’t want to have a long distance relationship forever; it is really hard for me either. He has his reasons for doubting where this relationship goes. Sigh, I wish I can say to him now that we can live together soon or so, to assure him that the future of our relationship is not something abstract that he should afraid of. But while I still live with my parents, I cannot say that for now, at least in short term (one year). That’s a dream that we must work hard to reach, but I am more than willing to try to make that dream come true. He’s the one I love and I will try my best to be with him no matter what.
Maybe I’m a dreamer, and maybe I don’t always think realistically, that’s me. But I will try my best to reach my dream with all my might. For me, happiness is a matter of choice =D

Yah, I miss him badly, miss hugging him and hold his hands in mine. But sadly, we still don’t know when our next meeting will be. I can only go to Singapore after I graduate next October (which means: 1 MORE YEAR!! ARGHHHHHHHHH). But yeah, hope there will be any change in plan, heh heh *praying*

Okay okay, till then everyone…

My First Business Trip – Bali, the Island of Gods

2007-07-23T08:41:00.001+07:00

Whee, I go to Bali for business trip. Of course I also will take my time to enjoy Bali, hee hee. Everyone’s green with envy when heard that I was about going to Bali as my business trip. Don’t you laugh, but it’s the first time of my life going to Bali, haha. Basically, this is my plan during my 3 days trip to Bali:

Day One: Talk with the manager and supervisor in the area and analyzing the data collecting process.
Day Two: Attending a field trip with supervisor to see the data collection process on the basic level.
Day Three: Enjoy Bali to the fullest, haha, dun want to work.

Day One: Appetizer

Bali is DARN HOT!!! Literally, and I mean it. The temperature here is even hotter than Jakarta, with sunny and sultry weather. I really can’t wonder why those ‘bule-bule’(bule = Caucasian foreign tourist) like to do sunbathing here. But yeah, Bali is a really nice place to be in, with its religious culture and comfy hang-out places. I arrived at the airport at 08.30 am and my area branch manager picked me up, brought me to the hotel.

Hotel lobby

fish pond in front of my balcony

my own private balcony

pond view from my balcony

my room, whee

swimming pool at night

I didn’t go straight to the office since all the supervisors and administrators I need to talk to haven’t arrived yet at that time. So I just enjoy my time at the hotel, walked around to Sanur Beach (lucky me, my hotel is located just about 100 meters from the beach). Also tried a special menu from Bali, called Bebek Bali at a café nearby. Delicioso! But really expensive, haiz..

The beach wasn’t really crowded that time. I asked few people there, and they said that the beach is usually crowded in the morning time, with people wanting to see the sunrise and surfing. Well, tomorrow I’ll try again.

Kinda late at night, I went out for a dinner, walking toward the direction my sales manager has told me earlier to find café or some restaurants. But geez, after a long walk and all, I didn’t find any decent café or restaurant there. Disappointed, I was walking around somewhere, figuring how to reach hotel again. I didn’t want to walk my way to the hotel again. And suddenly this ‘tukang ojek’(ojek = somekind of public transportation by motorcycle) appeared, offered to drive me back to hotel or somewhere else I want. Well, didn’t want to lose any chance, I asked him to guide me around Kuta Beach (the most famous beach in Bali). I only paid Rp 50000 for that, what a bargain, lol.

But after think of it again, I can’t wonder why I did have such bravery to go out with someone I dunno at all! It was so dangerous! *shake head* Lucky me he didn’t have such bad intention, pheww…

Had my dinner at a Rosso Vivo, Italian café at the road next to shore. I picked Spaghetti Carbonara and Black Mango, somekind of mango juice mixed with blackberry. So expensive to have your dinner here, but it was really worth it. I like the pure Italian taste of the spaghetti (unlike Pizza Hut’s spaghetti), not spicy but thick, with enough cheese and milk. The beverage wasn’t bad either, but not too special I think. Will come back here next time I go to Bali for sure.

Day Two: Karaoke Catastrophe

It was a really exhausting day, indeed (lucky it wasn’t as hot as yesterday, but still). Geez, did a really long field trip with the supervisor, named Mr Age. He’s a really nice person, with humble n friendly manner. Really nice to know him :) We went to the west part of Bali Island, area named Gunung Sahari, visiting stores there. This part of Bali is yet to be explored by many tourists; it shows the beauty of Balinese traditional culture and villages complete with wet rice fields and all, still unadorned and peaceful, unlike situation at Kuta or Sanur with their busy and crowded fashion.

errrh... some sort of a tribute statue?

peaceful ambience

some craft shop next to the road

abit blurry...

Got my lunch a bit late that day, around 3 pm. We had our lunch in some sort of traditional restaurant in the middle of the ‘sawah’ (wet rice field), and as our choice, we chose ‘Babi Guling’ (roasted pork), a Balinese special menu. My little brother told me earlier that once I go to Bali I should try this menu. Nyam nyam, he was right, what a delicacy. It is kinda spicy though, like other Balinese dishes, I like it :-)

a stall in the middle of wet rice-field

nyam nyam *gobble gobble*

After field trip, I went back to the office, meet my branch manager, he promised to take me to the famous (and cheap, haha) craft store named Erlangga, I want to buy something something for my family and my friends. Got many interesting stuff there, for a bargain price, haha, happy happy. For myself, I bought few Bali shirts, aromatherapy set and a unique abstract wooden statue symbolizing two men holding hand and ‘twisting’ together. I named it “拥抱 / Embrace”, lol. To symbolize me and Ced Ced embrace ourselves to face our (bright) future together, hee hee. While I bought the aromatherapy set not because I like and believe the merit of aromatherapy though. I just feel like to have those colorful bottles of essential oils, lol. Moreover, they sold at a very cheap price (10 bottles of essential oil for just Rp10000, cheap isn’t it?).

Late at nite, one of my employees, Mr D picked me up at the hotel. He wanted to show me the Bali nightlife. We headed toward Kuta Beach. Always accessible 24/7, Kuta Beach is the center of Bali nightlife, with all those foreign tourists and all. The first place we entered was Hard Rock Café. Mr D knew the manager of Hard Rock well, so we didn’t charged to enter (normally, it would costs you Rp 70000, just to enter the café). He ordered drinks for us, Corona Beer. Haissss, I dun like beer for it’s bitter taste, but well, I still drunk it for courtesy. I actually wanted to order Merlot (red wine) instead, but oh well. Here are few pics of Hard Rock…

live band performing on stage

look at those 'bule-bule'

beer beer, haiz...

men's toilet door, hahaha

And the disaster begins…

Mr D brought me to his friend’s karaoke place. Me, being innocent, just said yes, didn’t know what waiting for me. I thought that it’s like usual karaoke places where I and my friends usually go to. But I was wrong. Totally wrong.

Dark ambience, few guys flirting with girls at a sofa near the entrance hall, striptease pole on the center stage, broke all my expectations into pieces. Never in my life have I imagined that I would be dragged into such kind of situation. I mean, I often see it in movies or TV drama where those businessmen go to a karaoke plus plus place to entertain their bosses or important guests. But I DIDN’T THINK IT WOULD ACTUALLY HAPPEN TO ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Ack……! I was silence in disbelief when the sissy guy, which is the pimp there, showed me the girls sitting in line like those in the stadium, waiting to be chosen. The sissy pimp called me “Young Master” and asked me what kind of girl I like to accompany me during the karaoke. If I could, I would answer “I like guys, not girls, thank you”, but since my employees all there standing, waiting for me, I just told him, that I like chatty and funny ones. I chose the one that look most hospitable and started to figure my way out of this horrible place.
After I chose the girl, named Ayu, new misery started. This girl seems fond of me, and unlike other girls my friends chose who always refused to be touched touched or so, this Ayu girl always pulled herself sticking with me, didn’t want to let me go from her side. She even started to caress me and touched my thigh several times. And the worst case of all, raised my hand to touch her boobies. Awwwwwwggggggggghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh. God, forgive me, please…
Despite of that sexually-aggressive attitude, she wasn’t too bad actually. What I thought of her was right; she’s kinda chatty and funny. BUT…. Still I realized that she practically tried to make me drunk, always lifted my glass for me, and every time I got back from the toilet (toilet became a really comfy place for me to escape awhile from this insanity), I reckoned my drink became more alcohol-tasted, she probably added that “Black-Label thing-a-ma-jiggie” beer to my glass more and more in purpose. So now, every time she offered me my glass, I always pretended I drink it, but in fact, I just raised the glass to my mouth and did nothing. You know, just like those in gangster movies, when the head of the gang pretends to avoid being poisoned by his rival. THE NIGHT SEEMED NEVER ENDS!! And in her last desperate attempts, she whispered me this, “Chris, would you mind come here again tomorrow, I promise I will give you an unforgettable memory of Bali and me.”
See? You must have figured out what she might do had I dare enough to come back the next day. Unforgettable memory = SEX. I just laughed out loud and did a false promise that I would come back for sure. While, of course, my heart screamed, “NOOOOOOO!! I WILL NEVER GO TO THIS PLACE EVER AGAIN!!”
Even bad things must come to an end….at 3.30 am, the karaoke finished and we went back home. Oh, not yet, Mr. D brought us to eat porridge at a stall nearby. He said, eat porridge can wipe out the trail of alcohol smell. There, he also told me that I am smart and good-tasted to choose such a big-breasted woman like Ayu. Geeezzzzz!
Finally, headed back to hotel, that torturing night was finally over…. Thanks God to save me right in time…

Day Three: Beautiful Memory

Was too tired because of last night, I awoke at 9 o’clock, kinda late. Sigh, couldn’t see sunrise at Sanur like I wanted to the day before… But it’s okay, there’s next time.
After bathe and had my breakfast, I decided to go to beach, enjoying my time. Lucky the weather also not so hot, it was cloudy cloudy. So I just strolled down the beach, took a picture or two. The beach also wasn’t really crowded, just there were few foreigners sunbathing. Like a kid, I got excited when I saw beautiful clamshells on the beach, so there I was, collecting corals and clamshells from the beach, lol. I also brought one glass of beach’s sand, so I can put them all in a bottle to remind me that I was once there. Then felt tired, I took a little rest while enjoying beach wind at a gazebo near the shore. Here are few pics of the beach I’ve taken…

the gate of the shore

blue sea^^

lil' Crabby on the rocks

touch touch the water

I wish my Ced Ced also here with me T_T

Then I had my lunch at café in front of hotel, didn’t want to walk so far. I had black pepper steak and some drink called “Singapore Sling”. Fool me, it’s a cocktail. Sunny weather and I drunk a cocktail, what a silliness. My body got warm and warm because of the alcohol. Darn. After ate, I just ran to the hotel right away, cooling myself in my room while waiting for my branch manager to pick me up. Not so long, security guard from my office came picked me up and drove me to the office. Didn’t do anything in the office though, just roaming around in the office, had few chit-chat, and so so, haha. Eh, almost forgot, one of the employees in the company brought me traditional alcoholic drink from Bali, named “arak Bali”. It is some kind of liquor, and I heard it is as strong as tequila, wheeee. Haha, I just kept it and thanked him for his kindness, I would try the arak later, hehehe. Anxious.
After the office hours passed away, my branch manager brought me to the famous shop in Bali, Joger. It sells shirts, keychain, mugs, and other accessories with unique and original quotes imprinted on it. Buy some shirts for myself there, hee hee. It’s not cheap there so didn’t buy many, haha.
Dinner time already, we headed to a Javanese restaurant before the airport, named Pecel Seleco Madiun Stall. Wow, it was so delicious, never before I found East Javanese restaurant that matches my lofty standard of Javanese cuisine (haha). Recommended. Then after dinner we headed toward airport, I waited for my plane to come while smsing Cedy, hehe.

Goodbye Bali, surely I will come back someday (bring Ced Ced with me, of course, lol)…

A Simple Wish

2007-07-11T13:44:00.000+07:00

I never hope it will be happen this fast…
I never expected it at the first place…
I even tried to deny it at the beginning… cos I dun’t think my heart is ready to start a new journey with someone new.
But oh well, maybe that’s how fate works…

I reserved for him one piece of my heart, with hope that he will wait for me.
Despite others sayings that this kind of relationship won’t last forever, still I cherish him and want to make it through with him. I finally made my feelings clear last night, and I’m so glad that he also feels it too.

Happy Birthday, Ced Ced…! Live long and prosper. I’m just so happy to have you with me^^

Wanna Buy New Mobile Phone

2007-07-10T16:01:00.000+07:00

Agh, my handphone joystick is now moving toward its end. So I just think to buy a new handphone instead of repairing it. Hee hee, indulge myself a bit after this internship. Requirements for my new mobile phone:

touch screen, tired already “pencet-pencet” buttons.
camera, at least 2 MP, so I can take more pics of myself as much as possible, tee hee.
3G
Sony Ericsson

Well, I guess that’s all..haha… and my candidates are…*trumpet on the background*

SE M600
SE W950i
SE P990i ---> The one that fulfill ALL the requirements, but kinda expensive

Actually I really adore SE P1 or SE W960i, but it will be too expensive, hiks…. But like Cedric said, everything comes at a price, sigh…. Anyone can help me decide?

While at Work

2007-07-02T15:21:00.000+07:00

Hmm hmm hmm.....

What Your Hands Say About You

You are logical, analytical, and rational. You have good verbal skills.

Idealistic and dreamy, you tend toward the impractical. You have a knack for getting yourself in sticky situations.

Brainy and intelligent, you are intellectual to the point of being incomprehensible.

Your emotions tend to be relaxed and uncomplicated. You don't read too much into things.

What Do Your Hands Say About You?

You Are a Mermaid

You are a total daydreamer, and people tend to think you're flakier than you actually are.
While your head is often in the clouds, you'll always come back to earth to help someone in need.
Beyond being a caring person, you are also very intelligent and rational.
You understand the connections of the universe better than almost anyone else.

What Mythological Creature Are You?

You Are A Good Friend

You're always willing to listen
Or lend a shoulder to cry on
You're there through thick and thin
Many people consider you their "best friend"!

What Kind of Friend Are You?

You Are 28% Weirdo

You're a little weird, but you'd be even weirder if you didn't have a few quirks.
You are just strange enough to know it, but nobody else seems to notice your weirdness.
That's because, deep down, everyone is a little freaky!

Are You A Weirdo?

You Are Cookie Monster

Misunderstood as a primal monster, you're a true hedonist with a huge sweet tooth.

You are usually feeling: Hungry. Cookies are preferred, but you'll eat anything if cookies aren't around.

You are famous for: Your slightly crazy eyes and usual way of speaking

How you life your life: In the moment. "Me want COOKIE!"

The Sesame Street Personality Quiz

The Golden Compass Trilogy - My Daemon

2007-06-29T14:55:00.000+07:00

In case you never heard of it before, if you happen to go to a bookstore, there's this one trilogy, named "The Trilogy of His Dark Materials", authored by Philip Pullman. It's about some a world where humans soul lives outside their body in a form of animal, called Daemon. It's kids book though, but I assure, that these books are not suitable for kids. From my point of view, it's an analogy from Bible stories actually, but seen from an atheist perspective.

The first parts of the 1st book are rather boring, but after you read through it, the plot developed and it is more complicated than you thought. Here, I also write the synopsis of the 1st book, "The Golden Compass".

The Golden Compass forms the first part of a story in three volumes. The first volume is set in a world like ours, but different in many ways. The second volume is set partly in the world we know. The third moves between many worlds.
They're now producing the movie, yayyy, which will be released this December. Can't wait to see it^^

**************************************************************
"In The Golden Compass, readers meet for the first time 11-year-old Lyra Belacqua, a precocious orphan growing up within the precincts of Jordan College in Oxford, England. It quickly becomes clear that Lyra's Oxford is not precisely like our own - nor is her world. In Lyra's world, everyone has a personal dæmon, a lifelong animal familiar. This is a world in which science, theology and magic are closely intertwined.

These ideas are of little concern to Lyra, who at the outset of the story, spends most of her time with her friend Roger, a kitchen boy. Together, they share a carefree existence scampering across the roofs of the college, racing through the streets of Oxford, or waging war with the other children in town. But that life changes forever when Lyra and her dæmon, Pantalaimon, prevent an assassination attempt on her uncle, the powerful Lord Asriel, and then overhear a secret discussion about a mysterious entity known as Dust.

It is at this time that children mysteriously began to disappear. Children, and only the children, are vanishing at the hands of what become known as the "Gobblers." Who the Gobblers are and what they want is unknown, but soon, children from far and wide are disappearing with out a trace, even Lyra's good friend, Roger.

But before she can begin her search for Roger, Lyra is introduced to Mrs. Coulter, a beautiful and bewitching woman. Mrs. Coulter is a scholar and an explorer - seemingly everything that Lyra could ever hope to be. Mrs. Coulter takes Lyra under her wing and employs her as an assistant to help in the next expedition to explore the Arctic North. On the morning she is to leave Jordan College, the Master of the school gives Lyra an alethiometer, a rare and powerful instrument with the power to reveal the truth in all things.

While under Mrs. Coulter's guidance, Lyra learns of her mentor's critical role in Church's General Oblation Board, a.k.a. the Gobblers, the party responsible for the disappearing children. It is revealed that these kidnapped children are taken to Bolvangar, a place in the far North, to participate in Dust experiments whereby they are severed from their dæmons through a process called intercision. Lyra also learns that the Church has captured and imprisoned Lord Asriel in the Arctic region of Bolvanger where he has undertaken Dust experiments of his own.

Horrified at what she has learned, Lyra and Pantalaimon flee Mrs. Coulter's home in the middle of the night and are rescued through the kindness of two gyptian men. The gyptians are a gypsy group of boat-people who live a harsh life on the water tempered by their unwavering sense of family, loyalty and love. It is the gyptians' children who have suffered most at the hands of the Gobblers, and they have vowed to travel North to rescue them. Lyra pledges to share what she knows, rescue her dear friend Roger, and ultimately find her imprisoned father. Through the gyptian elders, Lord Faa and Farder Coram, Lyra is bewildered to learn that her parents are Lord Asriel and Mrs. Coulter. Despite this shock, Lyra quickly learns to read the alethiometer and understand its messages. Although her alethiometer enables her to discover the truth in everything around her, Lyra is unaware of the incredible role her own life plays in the fate of the universe. Lyra is the subject of a great prophecy in which she is destined to commit a fateful betrayal that will determine the future of all worlds.

To succeed in the rescue mission for the children, the gyptians enlist the alliances of three people who come to regard Lyra dearly: Serafina Pekkala, the witch queen who reveals that the fate of universe lies in Lyra's future; Lee Scoresby, a Texan aeronaut and commander of a hot air balloon; and Iorek Byrnison, a renegade armored polar bear, deposed as king of his clan by a deceitful brother. While on their long, hard journey in the far North, Lyra and Pantalaimon are kidnapped by hunters who take them to Bolvangar, the place where all the kidnapped children have been brought. At long last, Lyra is happily reunited with Roger, but to her horror, she witnesses intercision, the gruesome Dust experiment that separates child and dæmon. Banding together, the children and their daemons escape the terrors of Bolvangar, fleeing into the safety of the gyptians, Serafina Pekkala's witches, Lee Scoreby's balloon, and Iorek Byrnison.

Although the children are rescued, the journey for Lyra and Roger is far from over. They travel further north and finally find Lyra's father, Lord Asriel. Lord Asriel has experimented with Dust as well, and has discovered its role in crossing the barriers into other worlds. He has constructed a bridge to another world, but crossing that bridge requires the energy released in an intercision. Unable to sacrifice his own child, Lord Asriel makes Roger his prey and escapes to another world. The universe has been broken and Lyra's friend lies dead, but she vows get revenge and discover the secret of Dust."
**************************************************************

And if you go to the website, you can even get your own Daemon lo, hehehe. I got mine, named Azaria, in the form of a racoon. Here it is...

Gay Crime

2007-06-24T12:37:00.001+07:00

You know, few days ago I watched television and there it was, news broadcast about murder crime. Not just usual murder though, it was mutilation (ughhh). The killed one was a transsexual, and ironically, the murderer is her ex-boyfriend. He said on the television that he killed her because he felt peevish as she forbid him to end their relationship because he wanted to go back to his wife (he is already married! Aww).

Then this murder case is exposed with hullabaloo and all. His face was exposed at the television. Pity him though, his sexual orientation was publicized to the public that way. Well, you might think that it is okay and all, but, living in conservative place like Indonesia, you better seal it tight most of the time for your own good, believe me.

Okay, back to what I want to say, there are many cases like that in Indonesia lo, gay relationship ended and then one party in the relationship kill his mate. Or some gay guys force straight guys to do sexual intimacy with him in return for the facilities they give to the straight guy. And of course, it ended tragically also. Gay crime number in here is quite high lo. Is it only here in Indo, or are there many cases like this also in other countries? Somehow I feel that things like these which make people feel rather dislike gay society, besides belief that gay is contagious I think. But who am I to say :-/

These things also make me more aware, that sometime, gay people can be so sensitive, and you better be not play with this. But yeah, some people apparently can’t learn from the past experiences.

Haizzzz, no playin around is best…

Second Day and the Outing

2007-06-24T12:35:00.001+07:00

The second day in the office supposed to be self-learning, but well…. Being bored, we all the new interns just gossiping about our new colleagues and chatting around. Doing some browsing sometimes, if the supervisor came by to check, haha…. The lunch time also yet to came, but we already left the office. And of course, we got back after the lunch time over. Duhz, just slacking around in the office, so not productive, ohohoho. After the working time over, we also went together for dinner at Chowking, preparing or outing for the next day to Dunia Fantasi, famous amusement park here.

The next day..., Dunia Fantasi
Wow…lucky us, Dunia Fantasi wasn’t really crowded that day. It’s so unusual. Seems our outing “approved”, since everythings seems arranged accordingly for us, we got 40% off for Dufan entrance ticket, Starbucks new frapucinno sampling, always be the first in the waiting line, get the last lunch packs in McD and so so :-) Will post our photos here later on for you all to see. Pity us, we didn’t see the fireworks show, went to the Plaza Indonesia for dinner. Rarely go to Plaza Indonesia, but I always like it, there are many cute guys, haha…,and interesting things to see. Then, sleepy already, I went back home, chit-chat a bit with Ced, take a bath, then fell asleep *yawn*

Today’s agenda will be packing my apparels and living needs for tomorrow. Tomorrow afternoon, after some briefing session at the office, will head to airport with my friend Fen. He will be assigned at Sumatra head office during this internship. Pity, whereas I still want to play detective game, check whether he’s gay or not, hehe, kinda suspicious on him :-p So till then guyz… will update later with latest news after I arrive at Surabaya.

First Days in the Internship

2007-06-19T20:56:00.000+07:00

So far these few days in the company went really well. Not really working though, still an orientation to the working environment. Touring around in the office, introduce yourself to your office mates, listening to the facilities and IT training, knowing how the company working, parts of the company, etc etc. Basically, it’s tutorial how to survive in this company la. About my office mates, my colleagues all usually young and energetic people around my age, so no trouble with adaptation. Even older employees and my bosses also kind and really understand you well. So I think I won’t have problem with this one :-)

Just got home from work tonite, tired already… Whew!! My new office is located in rather crowded area, makes me dizzy dizzy at first (I’m riding motorcycle to the office btw, to avoid “macet” at the street).

But it’s okay I think, since it’s just temporary problem. Soon, I will be moved to the Surabaya (another big town in Indo) base, hehe. My duties there includes do market-mapping and provide the chain supply for the whole East Indonesia. One thing that I like about my duty is there will be a lot of travelling opportunities, and of course, all the expenses will be reinbursed by the company, haha, notty notty me.

Okay will catch up with you again later about my next days working. Wanna take a bath then sleep rite now *yawn*

The Day before Internship

2007-06-17T10:50:00.000+07:00

Tomorrow will be my 1st day of internship, hehe. So excited!! So far, my preparations before the internship includes:
1.Buy dozens of long-sleeve shirts. I even buy one PURPLE shirt, hehe, so gay….
2.Of course, not to forget, new pants to MATCH my new shirts [hehe, like any other gay will do, lol]
3.Buy new pantofel shoes
4.And in addition, do an extra facial care so I can look fresh at the day, haha….
Aiks… so coquettish me!

Well, my days in Jakarta are quite boring so far. Just slacking at home, eat, sleep, slacking at home again, eat, and sleep, no variety. And ow, have I told you that one day before I headed back to J-town I bought a legless lizard? Hehe, it’s so cute, and I name it Gregory, haha. My friends all laugh when I told them, too good for a lizard though.

Gregory...

So I also busy keeping my eyes on my new pet, since I think it is kinda distressed because of the long journey to J-town. Now it won’t eat. Duh…Gregory…don’t make me worry la. Be a good boy and just eat those crickets.

Matt Wertz - 5:19

2007-06-07T12:18:00.000+07:00

A catchy song that I heard recently. It's kinda old I know, it was released on 2006, but still I like it. Sung by Matt Wertz (even I dunno who he is, haha). Try to listen this song ya, I can't give the file to you all, since I actually dont have the MP3. I listen it from my friendster page, by streaming, haha. Any one with generosity to share it with me, if any? Haha...

I'd be lying through my teeth if I told you
That I'm ok
July came, I thought I had it all together
Until you said
"I need some space"
Truth be told
It's so hard to wait

One eye on the clock
And one on the phone
It's 5:19....
I'm feeling alone
If I could talk to you
I'd want you to know
I'm holding loose
But ain't letting go.

We both know that I could think myself dizzy
Right now I'm spinning around
You said, "baby, don't worry"
But I just miss you right now
I said, I miss you right now

One eye on the clock
And one on the phone
It's 5:19....
I'm feeling alone
If I could talk to you
I'd want you to know
I'm holding loose
But ain't letting go.

Baby, take all the time you need
I just want you to know
I'll be here, waiting

With one eye on the clock
And one on the phone
It's 5:19....
I'm feeling alone
If I could talk to you
I'd want you to know
I'm holding loose
But ain't letting go.
(x2)

ooooo....
Ain't letting go

Happy Birthday to Me!!!

2007-06-03T19:38:00.000+07:00

Wow wow! I'm 21 y/o now....
Time passes so fast ya. Just realizing :-)

Just doing usual thing I do on my birthday, eating La Mien (noodles), haha. Give me long and prosper life^^ and of course do a lil' self indulge.

*singing "Happy Birthday"
Happy birthday to me,
happy birthday to me,
happy birthday happy birthday....
happy birthday to me.....

Got Internship!!!!!!

2007-05-30T17:52:00.000+07:00

You must be bored to heart those sad entries I posted earlier in my blog. But now I’ll write really good news I just got today.

I got an Internship I want, huurayyyy!!!!

Cheers for myself---> Me being cocky, lol….

Yea, I got an internship opportunity in one of FMCG (Fast Moving Consumer Goods) companies here, hehehe. FYI, this company is so hard to get, so that explains why I'm being so happpy and so so. Detail of this company left back to maintain anonymity, of course (sorry^^). All I can tell you is this company is the world's largest FMCG company. After so much interviews and tests, now here I am, hehehe. So for the next two months I will spend my time in J-town, my lovely town for that internship. I’ll keep you up to date with my progress, whuiiiiii…so happy…..

The Story Behind… (Part II)

2007-05-26T10:45:00.000+07:00

After that last chat, the life flows just like usual. EXCEPT, I feel a slight differences on his SMS for me. No more ‘dear’ or so so, no more intimacy. Just cold and routine things like,
“Morning Chris, have a nice day ya today, hugs hugs”

Call me sentimental, call me over-sensitive, whatever. But I really do feel if there’s any slight difference on people near me. Until someday, he didn’t SMS me on lunch time like usual, then I sent him a SMS like this,
“Have your lunch well today dear. Ah, my Mouse is now being a little careless^^ Hugs.”

He replied
“Have your lunch well also Chris. I will talk later much on blog ya.”

About half an hour later, he sent me SMS again.
“Chris, I must talk to you. I can’t be your boyfriend again. Don’t be sad ya…”

The truth comes eventually. Then I replied him.
“From our last chat I actually wanted to end it all. But I was uncertain, since you seemed like to continue our relationship. It may better be like this, we can’t be boyfriend anymore. It is better to relieve the burden from ourselves. Thank you very much for being with me for this last 5 months. I will cherish you always.”
“Ya, we can still be friends. I cherish our moments together. I also thank you for being important part of my life these 5 months. I wonder if we could still continue our blog...”
“Ow, the blog isn’t suspended? Well, okay, I don’t mind. So from now we’re friends’ yea?”
“Yes, the very best friends. Hugs you always Chris…”

And that was how we broke up. Now here I am, single again. No sad feelings, no worries, but sometimes peevish on him. Wondering, how can he be so bold…
And ever since we broke up, we still communicate well and continue to write on our blog together. So I guess things went quite well for me and him.

Well, about hypocrisy. I recalled that yesterday, after read my earlier post (The Story Behind… Part 1) Ed told me of being hypocrite since the things that I said to Mouse is contrary to what I was thinking of. Well, believe me that I am not. Somehow I was peevish on Mouse, but on the same time, my feelings for him wouldn’t fade away that fast. I will keep my memories with him and treasure our moments together always. Believe me, I don’t hate Mouse. Those “me talking to myself” thingie in my earlier post were just spices for my blog only. And of course, no intention to reveal our relationship secrets here either to drop his name, just wanted to share my feelings here, as how this blog was intended to be.

感情就像候车月台有人走有人来
Emotions are like seasonal trains and moon balconies, people leave and people come
我的心是一个站牌写着等待
My heart is a signboard, (with) ‘waiting’ written on it

The Story Behind… (Part 1)

2007-05-22T14:56:00.001+07:00

From our last quarrel (about his obligation to have sexual intimacy again with me), I knew that something has changed from him. I felt that his attention for me lessened. Either from his SMS for me, his e-mail, or his blog entries. Maybe it was just a slight difference but I always can feel it. My friends all told me that it was just my imagination. But I knew that it wasn’t.

He never called me with usual name he used to call me with… that was one indication. When I confronted him about this change, he didn’t answer. He always acted as if nothing has changed between us. From that time, I know that this is almost the end of our relationship.

I chat with him almost two weeks ago. Finally he got a nerve to tell me that he wanted to have a relationship with E, a girl who is matched by his parents for him. She is a good girl, and I don’t mind if someday Mouse marries her though. Here’s our last conversation (plain and non-edited from GTalk) :

Mouse: I’d like to talk to you… I am going with E now.
[me talking to myself (mttm): Nah nah, now here comes the moment of truth]
me: I already knew it, dunno why...
Mouse: oooo. How could you know?
[mttm: Isn’t it obvious? From the ways you act to me!!!]
me: Dunno :-)
Mouse: hehe, as my promise, I have to tell you. You really okay kan?
[mttm: You, cold-hearted bitch. How could you say that I’m okay?]
me: yeah, just as our promise
we have to tell each other what’s going on
since when?
Mouse: this last two weeks
[mttm: Yeah, right when I felt there was something wrong with our relationship. Gotcha!]

And still, he insisted not to break-up with me:
me: well...I think we’re not boyfriend anymore, right? :-)
Mouse: no, we’re still boyfriend
My relationship with E is still not official
Still far away

I hate him for that egoism.

Broke Up Already

2007-05-14T19:08:00.001+07:00

Well... the title explains everything, I think...

What Makes Us Gay?

2007-05-05T10:16:00.001+07:00

It's an article I found interesting from Trevvy, and I'd like to post it here...

BY: Team Trevvy

It may be the ~~jeans~~ genes that make us gay! Team Trevvy investigates…

"If in fact it is true - and I’ve asked doctors this - that you are genetically born a homosexual, because that’s the nature of the genetic random transmission of genes, you can’t help it. So why should we criminalize it?"

These recent remarks by Minister Mentor Lee must have brought a guarded smile to the faces of even the most politically jaded gay Singaporean. After years of either ignoring the homosexual issue or considering it to be a deviant and unhealthy lifestyle choice, the establishment – or at least the man who created it – has finally realised what we as gay people have known since we first found ourselves attracted to the same sex – you can’t help it.

Remember the first time you felt attracted to another person of the same sex and thought it might be a phase that will go away but never did? Most gay men know from (often painful) personal experience that their homosexual inclination was never a deliberate choice. Yet opponents of gay rights choose to disregard our personal experiences and continue to portray homosexuality as a sinful choice that should be criminalised.

Cue the scramble from conservatives to disprove the notion that homosexuality is decided from birth. Why the brouhaha? If the government does decide that homosexuality is innate – like race and sex – then there can be no justification for discrimination, not just in the form of laws criminalising gay sex, but extending beyond that into other social issues such as marriage and laws protecting homosexuals from bigotry.

This is not to say that Singapore is on its way to become the Netherlands of Southeast Asia – ‘Asian’ values and traditions are far too entrenched, and we must never forget who our neighbours are – but there is definitely reason for gay men and women to feel at least slightly optimistic, even as social conservatives embark on a public relations offensive to convince the local population that homosexuality is not an inborn condition.

Much as we might all prefer to be creative writers and dancers, knowledge of the hard science serves to elucidate the difficulties faced by homosexual men and women alike. It becomes more important that gay men can tell their genes apart from jeans when homophobes try to use biology to deny us our rights.

For much of the 20th century, the dominant thinking among scientists connected homosexuality to upbringing. Psychiatrist Sigmund Freud speculated that overprotective mothers and distant fathers helped make boys gay. It was not until 1973 that the American Psychiatric Association removed "homosexuality" from its manual of mental disorders.

Then, in 1991, gay neuroscientist Simon LeVay announced to the world he had found a key difference between the brains of homosexual and heterosexual men he studied. LeVay showed that a tiny clump of neurons of the anterior hypothalamus - which is believed to control sexual behavior - was, on average, a portion of the anterior hypothalamus that is believed to control sexual behaviour was almost twice as large in heterosexual as in homosexual men. Theoretically, the clumps could have changed size because of homosexual behaviour. Nevertheless the study jump-started the effort to prove a biological basis for homosexuality.

The controlled male twins study of Bailey and Pillard (1991) showed a 52% concordance of homosexuality in monozygotic twins, 22% for dizygotic twins, and 11% for adoptive brothers of homosexual men. This research seems to suggest that “gay gene” has a 50% penetrance factor, a measure of the likelihood of gene expression.

Then, the big news. In 1993, Dean Hamer of the National Cancer Institute in the USA discovered that 33 out of 40 pairs of homosexual brothers had the same genetic markers in the Xq28 region of their X chromosome. This finding, though non-conclusive, helps to crystallise the theory of a "gay gene".

Critics of the X chromosome theory point out inadequacies of the study. The only research team to confirm the original 1993 results was the same team of scientists. Hamer’s team has failed to locate similar gene correspondencies in lesbian X chromosomes.

The focus of sexual-orientation research has since shifted to biological causes, and there hasn’t been much science produced to support the old theories tying homosexuality to upbringing. Freud may have been seeing the effect rather than the cause when he posits that homosexuality is a result of overprotective mothers and distant fathers. In recent years, researchers who suspect that homosexuality is inborn - whether because of genetics or events happening in the womb - have looked everywhere for clues: prenatal hormones, birth order, finger length, fingerprints, stress, sweat, eye blinks, spatial relations, hearing, handedness, and even "gay" sheep!

Take finger length for instance. Men in general have shorter index fingers in relation to their ring fingers. In women, the lengths are generally about the same. Researchers have found that lesbians generally have ratios closer to males.Other studies have shown masculinized results for lesbians in inner-ear functions and eye-blink reactions to sudden loud noises, and feminized patterns for gay men on certain cognitive tasks like spatial perception and remembering the placement of objects.

Willliam Reiner, psychiatrist and urologist with the University of Oklahoma, has evaluated hundreds of cases regarding medical conditions where boys born with severely inadequate penises were castrated and have his parents raise him as a girl. At the end of the study Reiner found that nurture, even when surgery is done soon after birth, cannot trump nature. This means that of all the boys who were raise as girls, not one of them were found to be sexually attracted to males. They all remain sexually attracted to females.

More recently, Brain Scan studies done in 2005 by Swedish researchers found that while straight men’s brain were sexually aroused by female urine compounds, gay men’s brain were aroused by male sweat compounds. Perhaps this explains why we are so attracted to hot perspiring men. This study yet again connecting the hypothalamus to sexual orientation comes right after the studies with sheep. It seems that about 8% of domestic rams are exclusively attracted to other rams. Further investigation revealed that a region of the brains similar to the one LeVay identified in human brains was also larger in straight rams than gay ones.

In June 2005, scientists in Vienna announced that they had isolated a master genetic switch for sexual orientation in the fruit fly. Once the switch was flicked, the genetically altered female flies rebuffed overtures from males and instead attempted to mate with other females, adopting the elaborate courting dance and mating songs that males use.

And now in a highly unsual move, the National Insitutes of Health in America is sponsoring a $2.5 million large-scale, five-year genetic study of gay brothers. Relying on a robust sample of 1,000 gay-brother pairs and the latest advancements in genetic screening, this study promises to bring some clarity to the murky area of what role genes may play in homosexuality.

Canadian researchers have consistently documented a "big-brother effect," finding that the chances of a boy being gay increase with each additional older brother he has. For some reason birth order does not appear to play a role with lesbians. So accordingly a male with three older brothers is three times more likely to be gay than one with no older brothers, though there’s still a better than 90 percent chance he will be straight. They argue that this results from a complex interaction involving hormones, antigens, and the mother’s immune system.

But nobody’s sure what’s causing it.

Regardless of what the science says – and they do suggest a correlation though not causation between sexual orientation and innate biological events – opponents of gay rights would never be satisfied. Just look at the recent debate on climate change.

While proving sexual orientation is inborn would make it easier to frame the debate as simply a matter of civil rights. We should note that other rights such as freedom of religion in most places around the world enjoyed protection long before inborn traits like race and sex.

For something we all know deep down inside that is innate to us, it seems to be a grave injustice that we have to justify our existence is not some freak of nature.

Meat-Eater Plants

2007-05-01T09:47:00.001+07:00

Hopefully in few days there will be a Pet and Plants Exhibition near my dorm. Well well, of course I must go there....

I want to buy a meat-eater plant

Yes... I'm not kidding. A fresh, ruthless, and hungry meat-eater plant. And my friends were just "Whaa...?? Are you kidding? What a psycho!"

A beautiful Venus Fly Trap

Kekeke, no lah, if you know the reason why I want to buy that kind of plant, you will be laugh for sure. I want those plants to eat cockroaches that roaming around my dorm. Euwwww, so gross. These days they even get more and more attracted to my room since I stored many many foodstock.

I usually hit them with "gagang sapu" a.k.a broomstick every time I see them and then give their weak body (yea of course weak since I hit them so hard, keke) to Pucy, one lovely cat in my dorm that always like to eat cockroach as a snack. I like Pucy, since it's so tame to me and it behaves exactly just like dogs (not cats as it should be). But owh, that's another story.

Back to my story about meat-eater plants, if you want to get info about bugbiting plants and if you want to buy them (US only, I think), you can visit this site which I found just recently.

http://www.bugbitingplants.com/

It provides enough information about them and how to raise them.

watch out bugs!!!

不得不爱 – Got to Love You

2007-04-27T14:55:00.001+07:00

Few people asked me these days...

“Did you break-up with Mouse?”

Maybe there’s misunderstanding arises when they read my last post. I said that I’m tired with my relationship with Mouse and dunno where this relationship will go. But no, I’m still with Mouse. Weird huh? Yea, he didn’t wantto break up with me, and so did I.

For me it’s really weird. Time after time, I develop this ‘tolerance’ toward Mouse. I learned to compromise our differences. He also tries to understand my feelings. I know that our relationship is not just about physical. I know that eventually we still have to break up, so I just don’t want to waste our time and enjoy this relationship, even without sexual intimacy. Ed (remember my bestfriend?) just told me that it is almost impossible and that makes us no different than just friends. But then I think again, it’s no use to ‘force’ him to have sex with me. Sex is just a way to express love, isn’t it? (See how melancholic and old-fashioned I am?) So I think it’s really all right for me if he just couldn’t express his love that way. I still love him, though.

I know it’s kinda hard for us since we’re both kind of sex-driven guy (‘nafsu besar’ if I may say :-p) but what the purpose in doingit if we don’t enjoy it…

Enough about me and my relationship...

Recently there’s nothing special to blog about. I just got these two books, entitled The Alchemist by Paulo Coelho and Flowers for Algernon (Charlie, the Genius Imbecile) by Daniel Keyes. The one that attracted me the most is Flowers for Algernon… The plot revolves around an imbecile guy named Charlie Gordon. He was born with IQ just 68! Geez, how poor he is. And because he is mentally dull, he was selected by a group of scientists as ‘guinea pig’ for their project in purpose to raise his intelligence. This procedure has been successfully applied on a white mouse named Algernon. As time goes by, his aptitude has developed so rapidly and surpasses the ability of those scientists. And that experiment seems to be a super-important scientific innovation. But suddenly Algernon’s ability decrease, as rapid as how itincreased back then. Is Charlie gonna be like Algernon?

Well, I like this book because I think Keyes completely good in describing Charlie’s development from time to time. From an imbecile guy which almost doesn’t have emotional feeling into a mature guy who posses a complex thought. No wonder that this book received a Hugo and Nebula Award (dunno what kind of awards they are, though, hehe) and sold more that 5 million copies worldwide. Read it!

Argh…shit, just received a phone call from computer center that my computer’s mainboard need to be replaced. It’s EXPENSIVE……….!!!

Now I have to go there…

We love only what we do not completely possess, and fear to lose.

My Visual DNA

2007-04-16T13:50:00.001+07:00

Read my VisualDNA™ Get your own VisualDNA™

Tired...

2007-04-16T11:00:00.001+07:00

After few days ago I completed that business simulation game on Jakarta (which I mentioned to you before), I headed back to B-town and arrived just at 2 AM in the morning. Feeling dizzy and exhausted, I slept until almost 9 AM, forgetting about the Corrosion exam and all. I thought I would ask for dispensation la...

You know what? I'm tired I'm really tired of how my relationship with Mouse going. Just yesterday I found out that he wrote in our blog, that he feels guilty because of this relationship. Furthermore, he asked if we can continue this relationship with no sexual intimacy. He told me that he can't do it anymore, considering that same-sex relationship is contrary with our religion's belief (we're Catholic, btw) and that he doesn't want to disappoint his parent and so so.

I wanted to yell at him when he said that on the phone... I ALSO feel that way!!!!( If he couldn't realize that). I feel guilty too after we did those sexual thingie. But instead, I still want us to do that because I know that we don't have much time before he getting married or what... So I just wanted to enjoy our togetherness and do whatever we can do at this time. I JUST DON'T WANT TO HAVE ANY REGRETS in the future. I don't want us in the future look back to the past and say "Wish I...", "I hope that I...". I just don't want that.

From the first time we met and decided to walk together, we agreed that this relationship has many obstacles (our parents, that he would eventually get married, and so so), and still we've been get through it together. And what about now? He suddenly did this... I just don't understand him, really. It's not that I expect sex sex and sex only. I thought that sex is necessary in a relationship, but not a highest priority. But... ough...I don't know what to say. If he feels that way about same-sex sexual intimacy, then why he started it in the first place?

I don't want to think about our future, at least not now! Because I know it hurts... just to think how we will have our own separated way.

You know, if there are times when I regret how I was born as bisexual, this is one of them... Had I am straight I wouldn't EVER feel this way! Geez, I don't even have strength to cry nor the shoulder to cry on.

So he said we still walk on together, we can still communicate by phone, blog, SMS, e-mail, and maybe meet now and then. But just stop the sexual contact between us. Somehow, I feel so far away..... If so, what the difference between me and him and between me and my friends then?

I had this thought, that maybe it would be better with me if I never ever meet him at all. That we don't have a crossing destiny. So I don't have to face this...

Maybe that's because I love him so much T_T

Before I Head Back to J-town

2007-04-05T08:40:00.001+07:00

This afternoon I will head back to J-town to meet my beloved Mouse^^ Yes, I'll do sleepover again at his apartment. Actually I didn't tell my parents that I would come back for this easter (since I want to spend this holiday with my Mouse, hehe). Duh, such a naughty naughty boy I am :p

So this is my plan...

Thursday - Sunday: Play play with Mouse all day long

Sunday: Head back to B-town, preparing myself for the next day's exam

Monday: Corrosion Material Exam, bwuh...

Tuesday: Back back back to J-town, attending a business competition which I was selected to join to. I will stay in Manhattan Hotel, and since Mouse will stay in J-town until this day, maybe we can meet again somemore *grin

Friday: Completing the events, back to B-town and study study study again for the next mid-semester exam.

Phewww, what a busy life....

Laboratorium Session

2007-04-03T08:39:00.001+07:00

This week is the Holy Week and my university will have a holiday starting on Friday. Well, of course, like another holiday, I will go to J-town to meet my beloved Mouse. Really miss him so much....^^ We've also planned to see Mr Bean Holiday on the cinema.

But of course, uni won't give up that easy in not letting us enjoying our holiday. Yes, I still have one lab session this week with that so-called "complete report" which will be collected on next Monday. Not only that report actually, they also will give us EXAM on Monday. Geez.

Usually I (never) do this:

-Preparing my report draft before the lab session

-Study for the exam, one week before

Ow ow, they call us to take the presence note before the lab begin, gotta go...

ScribeFire

2007-04-01T16:16:00.001+07:00

Well, hello everyone. A really really long time no see rite :) Miss you all and blogosphere very much. I'm now trying for a new plug-ins in Firefox that allows you to post to your blog without logging on. Test test....123.

A glitch of my life happened while I was absent in blogosphere...

A girl ASKED me to be ~~his~~ her [I edited it already lho, koala, hehe] boyfriend... WOW....

How was that sounded? Of course, without further ado, I rejected her (without telling her the reasons, for sure). Poor girl...

No Update for Quite Some Time

2007-02-15T10:35:00.000+07:00

Yah yah yah, because of my chaotic and tight schedule moments back, I couldn’t update my blog for some time. Don’t you worry, I’m really okay :-) Thanks for ice and zeng for asking, I really appreciate that…
There’s many things happened during my absence in blogosphere,

One, I updated my Windows XP Service Pack 2 to Windows Vista Ultimate Edition. Geez, just saw how heavy-loaded Windows Vista made me uncomfortable at first. It asked you to have at least 512 Mb memory on your system (while mine was just 512Mb, pretty decent, but still I happened to upgrade my memory to enjoy Vista’s Aero desktop look) and a graphic card with at least 256 Mb memory. What is Microsoft trying to do with this actually? Nevertheless, I couldn’t resist to that cool Aero look, hehe. The only reason why I upgraded my Windows was because I was really bored with its appearance. So although this new Windows comes with such minimum requirements, I choose to upgrade.

Two, I made Bakka-chan (you remember? That my ex-crush guy who used my girl friend Ca to be his concealer) kinda shocked since he saw me and Ca exchanged jackets with our initial on its collar. Hm hm, now he will definitely think that I was the one who convinced Ca to break-up with him back then so I can be with her. Wonder so.

Three, last Saturday, I just held a BBQ party at a park near my dorm. From what supposedly be a small gathering party between me and few of my friends became a really HUGE party with almost 50 people attending. Waw…

Four, new semester has just started… With my not-so-good result last semester, I should study really hard to pursuing my scholarship to study abroad. Actually what I want is not the scholarship for study itself, but I just want to take a break and feel the new life abroad, hehehe.

Ah, isn’t this post just some kind of filler? Mmm…

My Unforgettable Christmas – Part Two

2007-01-19T10:54:00.000+07:00

Dunno what’s wrong with me lately, but I do reluctant write much in my blog. Am I too busy lately? Or because of my second blog (the one I made with Mouse)? I don’t know either. But, I don’t want to close this blog, maybe yet. You can call me lame, but I think I’ve been putting much of my stories and experiences here, and sometimes also my deepest feelings. I think, maybe its better be like this, with my sporadic absence in blogosphere. Since my next semester is kinda busy and all. I don’t want to blog as an obligation, though. I decided, maybe I should update this blog once-in-a-week only, as how this blog is intended to be. But of course I’ll still visit this blog everyday, to reply comments or to chat with you all my friends…

The second part of my Christmas Holiday with Mouse is the most unforgettable memories of all. There’s so many things precious.

One, it’s the first time Mouse and I have an argument. A serious one. About how our relationship will be in the future. Since we’re both bisexual with obligation to be married sometimes in the future. It’s sad, indeed. Who doesn’t want love lasts forever? So do us. We kinda hate the fact that we can’t marry each other because of family reasons. I cried. He cried. We don’t want to lose each other though. It’s a long way to go, but still we hate the time we must be separated (in the future, of course). If only one of us is a woman, then we could be married…

Two, 陪我看日出 – With Me See the Sunrise, a beautiful song from Ms Cai Chun Jia Mouse gave for me before we meet on Christmas. It’s been a dream for me to see sunrise with my beloved one. Then of course, we do it together that time. We opened the balcony window wide at about 4 o’clock in the morning, whee so early, yawn) and enjoy the J-town morning sceneries… Then there, on the horizons, a first ray of soft orange light appeared. The sky was crystal clear, and the cloud was arranged beautifully at the sky border. I held him tight, as if I wouldn’t let him go. The sun was slowly appeared, smile on us. Haha, see how melancholic I am….

Three. Let’s just say that it’s the first time a take a bath with my beloved one. Haha… Have you ever done that? Lemme know^^

Yah, needless to say. I still have many many ~~naughty and kinky~~ experiences with him, but I won’t say it here (don’t want to scream the underage readers, if any, haha). And of course not to embarrass myself even more la. It’s private, private, you know…

My Unforgettable Christmas – Part One

2007-01-08T08:30:00.000+07:00

Duh, I’m sorry everyone for not blogging in such a period. Busy busy with one or two exams left after the Christmas holiday. HAPPY (belated) NEW YEAR EVERYONE! Although I know it’s now one week passed since New Year…

Yeah, today I’ll write about my Christmas Holiday (which I practically spent with Mouse, huehe). This Christmas, I went back to my beloved town, J-town. Well, Mouse also headed to J-town, wanted to pack his books left in his apartment. Then because we had no plan to spend this holiday, he invited me to spend few days in his apartment.

I went back to Jakarta on December 23^rd by using train. Actually Mouse offered to pick me up in the station and then bring me back home…Ow, how sweet of him^^ But I answered no lah, since I know he must be tired after a trip from his hometown. So I just told him, that we should meet at a mall near my residence in the early evening. Gave him time to take a little rest.
Arrived at my house, met my parents and my brothers before I go with Mouse. I told my parents that I would do sleep-over at my friend’s apartment, to do some assignments. Duh, lying lo…

Actually I got a bit impatient, couldn’t wait to see him again. So I arrived earlier at our meeting place. And he also had the same thought as me, he also arrived earlier. Glad glad glad to see him again, hehehe.

We went to the cinema and looked for a movie. There were Eragon and Curse of the Golden Flower on screen. We chose to watch Eragon…hehehe. Usually when a couple went for a date, they will pick a romantic movie or what, but it’s not us. We watched fantasy movie instead, hehe. We still had a couple of hour before the film begins, so we took a walk walk around, and had some snack.
We did chit-chat at the Hoka Hoka Bento, he wanted to try Ebi Furai, new menu offered by Hoka Hoka Bento. Yah, nothing special, because Ebi Furai = fried prawns, I thought it’s actually just a gimmick to attract customer. Not hungry, I only ordered ‘es sarang burung’. Bleh…there was too much sugar in it. We really got along, talked about how we miss each other and on. You know, it’s kinda crazy thing to do, but he really looked for a way to hold my hand there amid the resto crowd lho, haha. When we realized, it’s almost the time the movie played. We then walk around a bit more before headed back to the cinema.

The air conditioner at the cinema seemed designed to simulate the North Pole atmosphere…geez, so cold inside. Mouse felt my hand froze, and then he reached my hands and held it still until the movie end. Well, of course we did it surreptitiously la, didn’t want to attract much attention from the people around us (Since few of my high school friends were also there, in the same theatre). The movie, I must say it’s not a really good one. Yea, it’s not that bad, but it’s not that good either. Yah, kinda similar with Lord of the Ring Trilogy, because I heard Eragon was also made by the same production house with LOTR.

Felt hungry, our stomach was grumbling. We then went to Lao Da, a Chinese resto near his apartment. Waw, it’s really a good resto. The food’s great, the design’s also good. But there’s one thing not good. It’s expensive! Haha. Yah, doesn’t matter how great the food was, it was getting better with Mouse with me.

After we finished our meal, we went back to his apartment, feeling too tired to wander around, beside we wanted do much ~~naughty naughty~~ thing together. Haha, no need for detail ya. Figure it yourself la.

Oh ya, about Christmas present for him, I gave him a really nice and interesting book (at least that’s what I thought), entitled “The Golden Compass”. Me myself haven’t read it yet actually, but I think it’s a really good one, since it won few prestigious prizes and all, haha, plain-thinking me. Wrapped it in blue gift-paper (he likes blue) and of course a blue Christmas card..

He also gave me books, and pair of CDs (He bought it from Sg last time). Those really are nice nice books. Pity me, they’re Chinese ones T_T Must improve my Chinese first before I can figure out what they’re talking about.

End of the day, we slept in his room, together. Owh, what a sweet sweet Christmas Eve it is.

To Be Continued

Christmas Countdown

2006-12-22T14:23:00.000+07:00

Get free graphics at BlingyBlob.com!

Merry Christmas everyone!!!!
May your Christmas be merry and bright^^

2006-12-17T11:06:00.000+07:00

The Christmas is approaching...alongside my beloved Mouse. Yet, it doesn't deprive this one thought in my mind...

What should i give him as Christmas present???

Duh, walking and window-shopping don't give much solution. All I can think as Christmas present are:
1. A good book...but what book????
2. A merchandise which reminds him of me...but what kind of merchandise???
3. A mug, but isn't it too ordinary?
4. Myself... Wrapped in gift paper and tied with red ribbon? Lolz.

Aghhh, dunno what should I buy for him... Any suggestion, everyone?

TWINKle TWINKle LITTLE AFFAIR (NOT STARS)

2006-12-16T15:12:00.000+07:00

Have not been hearing news from that Bakka-chan a.k.a STUPIDO (remember him, my ex-crush?). Now I hear that he’s having an affair with his lecturer. Oh Gosh!

The story is begun with his break-up with his oh-conceal-me-from-being-spotted-as-gay girlfriend, Ca. Just because of stupid and childish reason. You know, if your girlfriend/boyfriend tells you that you’re too busy with your business, not much times for you both hanging out together, what would you do? Normally people will cut their extra business thus they can spend that extra time with him/her, right? But that’s just what normal people would do. Things are upside-down for my little STUPIDO. Instead of spending more quality time with Ca, he showed even more careless behavior to Ca (Which I knew later, was because he feel peevish to Ca since Ca told him that he’s not caring). What a gross! Dunno what’s wrong with this guy, Ca said to me. She thinks that STUPIDO needs to learn about human basic emotions and behavior BEFORE he’s permitted to enter social life. Ca also told me once that this guy is a threat and isn’t good for any woman. He’s better be having a relationship with a guy instead. Ah, Ca, wish I could tell you that you ex-boyfriend is gay…. Yeah right, it’s out of my business :-/

This stupid twink sure has a tendency to make people infatuated to his strange charm; Now that I hear him having an affair with his lecturer. And what the heck! Everyone knows about this!
I’ll tell you from the very beginning of the story…. STUPIDO likes to swim (for whatever reason he might have). And one day, when he finished one of his swimming sessions in VIP, one of warm pool in Lembang, came to him, his dearie lecturer (who also suspected as gay, as reported exclusively by gossipers in his class). Then Mr. Lecturer asked him whether STUPIDO swim there often or not. And then, he asked STUPIDO to swim together next time. So that he could have motivation to go swimming. Euwww. What could be more obvious than that??

Then…then…in his class, few minutes before mid-semester exam, Mr. Lecturer approached him, do that ‘basa-basi’ thing, asked STUPIDO if he has a problem studying for the exams. He took STUPIDO’s book from his hand, wrote here and there, circle a few problems. He then smiled, and leaved. And guess what?? All that he marked in STUPIDO’s book is the entire problems he gave on the exams. Geezzz. Moreover, while STUPIDO was concentrating on doing his exam, Mr. Lecturer obviously took pics of STUPIDO with his mobile phone’s camera. Yuck!

And the fun part is, when my Arabic friend, Yan asked Mr. Lecturer something about that exam, he answered nonchalantly, almost carelessly. Of course, not as ‘berbunga-bunga’ as he treats STUPIDO. Everyone told Yan after that, that Mr. Lecturer doesn’t have interest in Arab people. Lolz.

Euwww, euwww, euwww, what a gross…. As what people in Indonesia say,

ABCD – Aduh Booo, Cape Dehhhh!!!

Can't Wait Till X'Mas

2006-12-11T12:49:00.000+07:00

My my, because of busy weeks I have, I abandoned my blog quite a while. Geez. Well, maybe in these weeks I can’s post too much, since starting next week, we’ll have our final exams. And all I should do is just study study and study again. Hmmm, can’t enjoy my spare time even a tiny bit.

Even so, at least I do have something to be waiting for. Yeah, our Christmas holiday. I started on this Dec 23^rd, where I’m going to J-town. Of course, J-town is not the only reason… Mouse will also spend his Christmas holiday in J-town, with me. Huehehe, bring a bit of excitement in my boring uni life la. I’ll do sleepover at his condo to enjoy Christmas Eve, just for the two of us. He said that he just want to send this special time with me :-p He also asked me to cook our meal together, waw, so romantic, huehehe. And of course there will be naughty naughty thing happen between us.

I do cherish him so much and so happy to meet him in my life, even though we meet through unusual way (yes, thank you Trevvy). You know, when I met him some time ago on Trevvy, I almost closed my profile there lho. So did him. I really thought that Trevvy is kinda useless. Everyone would just give me kisses and spanks, but no more than that. Yah, I must say, what is the purpose of kisses and spanks actually? Does it give you any benefit thus everyone collect it as many as they can. It’s useless. You can’t earn money or what through kisses and spanks collecting, can you?
So right after we met, he closed his Trevvy account, and I abandoned my account.

We also made a blog, to record our journey through our relationship. Where we can share everything (I do really mean everything) in this blog. Our thought, our feelings, our problems, our pics, and many more things that we feel precious for us.

Next week I’ll have Chemical Reaction Engineering and Utility Systems exams, duh. And now I haven’t finished my 3DMax Heat Exchanger Project for tomorrow. Back back back to my busy life.

Can’t wait till X’Mas ^^

做你的男人 - Be Your Boyfriend

2006-12-06T09:13:00.000+07:00

This is a song from Jeff Zhang, which Mouse gave me. He said that this song reminds him of me and our relationship. He said that he also hopes that he can be a good boyfriend for me… Waw, he’s so sweet^^ Makes me adore him even more. Here, I share this song here too, try to listen… I think it’s a simple song, yet so touchy. And I also provided the lyric (which I translated by myself). I’m sorry if I translated few of the sentences wrong yah, just improving my Chinese, hehe. Bother to correct if there’s any mistakes, kay?

东京纽约每个地点
Tokyo, New York, every place

带你去坐幸福的地下铁
Bring you with subway train

散步逛街找电影院
Take a walk, strolling down the street, looking for the cinema

累了我就帮你(提高跟鞋)
Tired already, I just help you (bring your high-heeled shoes)

塞车停电哪怕下雪
Traffic jam, power failure, whe must fear of the snow?

每天都要和你过情人节
Everyday I want to have Valentine's Day with you

星光音乐一杯热咖啡
Starlight, music, one cup of hot coffee

只想给你所有浪漫情节
Just want to give you romantic story

让我做你的男人
Let me be your boyfriend

24个小时不睡觉
Don't sleep 24 hours

小心翼翼的保持
Keeping cautiously

这种热情不退烧
This passion won't retreat

不管世界多纷挠
Don't care how much world hinder one another

我们俩紧紧的拥抱
We both embrace it tightly together

隐隐约约我感觉有微笑
Faintly I feel some smile

藏在你嘴角
Concealed at your lips corner

让我做你的男人
Let me be your boyfriend

24个小时不睡觉
Don't sleep 24 hours

让胆小的你在黑夜中
Let the timid you in the middle of the night

也会有个依靠
Yet can rely on

就算有一天爱会变少
Even if just one day, love can be slightly changed

人会变老
People can be old

就算没告诉过你也知道
Even if I don't tell, you still knowing

下辈子还要和你遇到
In the next life, I want you and me still meet

About our relationship, we’re doing okay actually. Although we can’t meet so often, still we communicate so intensively. I think that a good communication is one of the keys of the good relationship. So we made a blog together. So we can carve our journey together. And if sometimes we want to look back, we’d just visit our blog. Of course we made it private, so no one could see (I and Mouse posted many many pics of us there lho, btw, hehe).

Beside that, we also do phone and SMS almost every day. But still in ordinary level, I mean, we don’t do it too often also lar. Still, Ed complained about these new activities of mine,

“Ya ampun…… SMS everyday! Gosh, remind me not to open your inbox again.”

“Awh, those sweet sayings… How could you put up with that?? Enough already.”

Haha….yeah, at least we don’t phone each other every hour lar…

Busy Busy Week

2006-12-02T18:25:00.000+07:00

With...
1. 2 lab sessions (Tuesday-Wednesday & Thursday-Friday).
2. 2 lab reports to do.
3. 1 exams on Friday.
4. 1 Heat Exchanger model assignments.
5. Meeting meeting and meeting with everybody.

And now i'm tired. But there's next week, lying, waiting. Huaaaaaaaa!

I love you, Mouse. I cherish every day of this week because of you....

Excuse me everyone, till then^^ I will back with more posts later.

Our Second Date: The Proposition

2006-11-26T22:37:00.000+07:00

Pipppp….pippp……*my mobile phone’s alarm rang*
Open my eyes and turned it off. It’s still 05.50 in the morning. I woke up suddenly, trying to remember everything happened last night. Oh yea, I promised Mouse to go to the Church together this morning. Mmm, I thought he said he would come here at 06.30, so I didn’t rush myself, prepare a little breakfast for myself so that I wouldn’t get hungry in the Church.
My mobile phone suddenly rang. It’s still 06.00. Owh, I got a message. From Mouse,
“Morning, Chris! I’ve arrived in front of your dorm. Should I get in? Or I can wait in the car instead.”
“Owh, wait a sec ya Mouse, I’ll go outside. Wah, so fast, I didn’t think you would come this early in the morning. I haven’t taken a bath yet lor.”

And I walked outside the dorm, approaching his car, and invited him to come in. And while I took a bath, he waited inside my room, looking through my props.
I got dressed (not in front of him lor) and then we decided to go to the 07.30 Holy Mass on Lau’s Church, but it’s still 06.40, so we have around 20 minutes or so before we leave. So we watched my funny videos collections (and also video about 2 Crazy Karaoke Girls I posted here few days ago)…

We arrived at the Church at about 07.15, still 15 minutes left. Hehe, it has been my wish lor to go to the Church with my boyfriend. I wish it can be every week… But nothing I can do about this. Like this, I’m happy enough.

You know, why I adore Mouse so much? Well one of the reasons why is that when I was with him, I can be myself, my true self. I never have to try to conceal anything, unlike with others. He also does the same thing to me; he’s always honest, sincere, and open. Little by little, I develop my faith to this (unknown) relationship. Although I know, maybe we don’t have bright future or what. But still, I feel that it’s right.

We went to the “Mie Rica” restaurant. He wanted to taste that HOT (when I say it’s HOT, I mean it, it’s really spicy) noodles once again, since he used to live here in B-town when he was in uni back then. While waiting for our order to come, he stared at me again, made me a bit awkward at first. I asked him why he looked at me that way, but he just laughed softly. I love it when he laughs like that, gives me warm feeling. So I just replied him, staring through his eyes deep. As if no other people around.
Yeah, he couldn’t stand the hot noodles, sweat sweat sweat so much…hahaha, he’s so cute when he wipes sweat dropping from his face :-p
Today, I insisted to pay the charge, since he did pay for our meal at our first date. As I said, I don’t want him become a sugardaddy to me.

We headed back to my dorm, didn’t have anything particular to do. Actually he offered me to accompany me buy things I need at the store, but I didn’t have to buy anything, I have just done shopping few days ago.
Ahaha, he was mad at me because I played the song寂寞的季节 (Season of Loneliness) from David Tao on my iTunes. He felt that it isn’t right to hear such a mellow and lonely tune in this occasion. So I played 大成小爱 (Big City Little Love) instead. He asked me to sit beside him and he held my hands, while saying that actually he wanted to do it earlier, at the Church, but since it’s an impossible thing to do, he just do it in my room. I smiled and chuckled. He’s so unadorned, I think, yet he’s so sweet for saying such thing.

From here, I cut few parts of the story ya, I want to keep it to myself, hehe..selfish me.
He kissed me, and asked me if I could be his boyfriend (Gosh),
“Chris, do you want to be my boyfriend?”
I smiled at him, my mind wandered. Ah, I don’t care about the future. All I care now is that I want to be with him, as much as he wants to be with me. So why should I be hesitate?
“Yes, Mouse, I do. I’m glad you ask that…”
He hugged me tight.
“Maybe I can’t promise you anything, but I still hope…”
“That’s all right... You already knew, I also can’t promise you anything. But I believe that makes us suitable one another, right?”
*It’s just bizarre, but when I say “Yes” to him, the song 老鼠爱大米 (Mouse Loves Big Rice) really played in the background*

Ya, from now on, I’m not walking alone anymore. I have Mouse by my side (figuratively, not literally). I’m glad to be with him. Having him to support me and be with me, I’m fulfilled. Although we aren’t together in the same place and time, but we hope that our heart will still be the same. Long distance relationship ain’t easy, man… Still we’re hoping. Wish us the best yah…

Continuation Of The Heart-Heart Chronicles

2006-11-25T22:35:00.000+07:00

My presentiment was right. Last night wasn’t our last. Just right after I woke up this morning, I received a short message from him,
“Morning, Chris! Are you busy this morning? May I meet you again? Hehe… I miss you. How about tomorrow we go to the Church together? Do you know the Holly Mass schedule on Lau’s Church?”
Duh, wished I weren’t busy that morning. Had I free, I wouldn’t spoil what supposedly to be our second date.
“Duh, I have a meeting this morning, how about this afternoon? Maybe about 1 pm? Eh, I dunno the schedule there, how about the Central Church instead?”
“Wah, I can’t, I should accompany my sister this afternoon. Okay, Central Church is okay, let’s see, if I can arrive at your dorm at 6.30 am, then we attend the 6.30 Mass, okay? How about we meet tomorrow? Before I head back to J-town?”
“Okay, we could go after the Church ya. Btw, isn’t it too early for you to arrive here at 6.30 am?”
“It’s all right, ‘pokoknya’ I go to your dorm first. C you, warm hugs for Chris.”

Then after that, he send me a really long SMS with Chinese character (which I couldn’t recognized, high level ones). Duh…. But after I asked Ed about what it means, he told me this…

“Life’s like a railway, every station has different people. To some strangers, that may be a beginning, to others that may be an end. Many different people get in and out in every stations of life, thus it can become beautiful and happy. Every stations where life can have its beauty is because of you”

From what I inferred, I feel that he likes me, more than just a friend. Ed also said so to me. But still, I do hesitate myself. I feel like I can’t lose him either. But isn’t it too fast to say that it’s love? So I think that maybe it’s better to let it just flow and let the time differentiate what feeling it actually is between me and him.

Early in the evening, he SMS me once again,
“What did you do this afternoon, Chris? I just arrived home after ‘jalan-jalan’ with my sister to Paris van Java Mall. And after this I would go to the wedding reception. Love you always, Chris.”
“Oh, not much actually, I just attended few meetings and after that finished my Heat Exchanger group assignment with my group, hehe. Yea, I know PvJ, isn’t that the new Mall in Sukajadi? Has it finished yet? What did you do there?”
“Not yet lar, I just ate at Da Wan (a porridge restaurant), not as good as Jakarta, of course, saw Sogo and Blitz (the new luxurious cinema there). If I had more time, I want to watch a movie or two with you, hehe. Cu tomorrow yah. I guess I’m in love with you…”
“Yea, wish you have more time here… I also want us to watch some movies together. Since I heard Blitz is a good place for watching. It’s so funny Mouse, because I also have the same feeling as you do …”
“Hehe, it’s just good that we feel the same feeling. Yea, even if the time and place limitation separate us, I’m still hoping…. Because I’m so happy be with you.”
“Maybe its better be like this, Mouse. Even if there’s a time and place limitation between us. Isn’t that makes every moment we have together is so precious?”
“Iya, thanks ya. I love you. Warm hugs for you, Chris. CU tomorrow morning ya? Don’t wake up so late. LovU Chris.”

Late in that evening,
“Chris, are you going out? I just arrived home, after the wedding reception. Just want to take a rest now. Good nite ya! Warm hugs for Chris.”
“No, I didn’t go anywhere today, Mouse. I’d like to stay at home today, take a little rest after this morning’s hullabaloo. But I did go a while, just went to the store to buy some fruits with my friends. Okay, good nite then ^^ Nice dream, sleep tight… Warm hugs for you two.”

He didn’t ask me to be his boyfriend. But it’s just right for me. Well, me being blabbermouth here, blabbering about my love story, uncensored. But I just want to keep this important thing in my life, here in my blog. So that some time in the future, I can always look back to the past.

Get Laid

2006-11-24T12:54:00.000+07:00

The followings are my date’s story with Mouse. I’ll write it as chronologic and as detail as I can here.

My mobile phone rang when I was in class,
“I’ve arrived in B-town!”. From Mouse.

“Hehe… I’m so excited lor:-) See you at 6 ya Mouse!”

I have few lectures until 5 pm, so I was kinda in hurry. Fortunately, my last lecture today, which supposedly ended at 5 pm, ended earlier. Huah, gave me more time to prepare everything for the outing.

Got home, and took a bath. It’s still 5 o’clock, so I wasn’t late. I chose my apparel quite carefully, wanted to give him a good first impression of me. After all, it’s our first date. So I wanted everything goes okay. Ah, me being girlie here, lol.

05:55 pm, I walked from my house to the place we’ve agreed, at a café at D Plaza. I walked up the stairs and waited him there… Haha, just like in those romantic movies lar..
Right after I arrived, I SMS him, “Hi, it’s me, I’ve arrived lor, waiting upstairs.”

And right after I received the delivery report, he approached me from back. Said,
“Hai, Chris ya?”
And I was just answered blankly, “Ah, yea, Mouse?”

Then we shook hand. Waw, so formal, haha. We sat near the balcony, so we can see people passing by. Ah, we stared at each other shyly and nervously, smiling. I realized, the way he talked, and laugh, and everything, and even his apparels and necklace choice is the same as mine. A slight thought flashed in my mind, that he’s how I will look like in the future, when I reach 28 y/o :-/

And I started the conversation, asked how his trip was earlier. We chit chat here and there, spent about half an hour there. I saw one of the waiters looked on us, maybe got suspicious about us (since I heard that this café were a place for gays do outing, especially on weekend). Duh, I didn’t give it a damn la. We had beautiful time together.

I felt although he and I have quite wide age difference, we still can connect somehow. I didn’t have any difficulties to talk and laugh with him. As if we have met long long ago before.

Felt hungry, we then went to the Kaca Mata, a Medan restaurant at Paskal Hypersquare. I know it isn’t a romantic place to have a date, indeed. But he said that he want to try ‘nasi babi campur’ there (which I recommended before in one of my e-mail to him). We had nice ‘nasi babi campur’, and continuing our chat, he told me about his ex, his life experience, and so so. He kinda similar with me in this futile-love-searching thing. He said that it has been his worries that he wouldn’t ever meet the right one for him because of his responsibility to his family (see my last post). He also said that he just wants to have a bisexual partner now, because maybe some time in the future, he should be married. He was so open and honest to me. I like that kind of person, though.

In return, I told him about my ex too, about how we broke up and about our relationship after we broke. Kinda ironic, since my ex was also 28 y/o when we first met (just like Mouse). And he’s also bisexual. And also have an obligation to be married. And the reason why we broke up back then was because he married someone. And that we was still good friends after we broke up. And after quite some time, I realized that I might be a third-party in his marriage. And that I realized that the situation must be changed. And that I cut our contact until now.

Yea, we finally concluded that love is uncertain and that we are unlucky in this thing, haha. He also told me that he has closed his Trevvy account, stop believing that his other half would come up from there. Since everyone only gives him kisses and spanks. Just one or two care enough to leave even a little message (it’s me, in this case). Well, maybe I should reconsider to close mine too, I said.

He insisted that everything went to his charge. Yeah, I couldn’t say no for his sincerity. At least, I said, I wanted to pay for the parking fee lar. Don’t want him to be a sugardaddy, I said. He laughed, hear me saying that… Full enough after eating, have nowhere else to go, we decided to come to my dorm. He wants to see how I live daily, wheeee.

I gave him a peek on my daily live by letting him visit my room. Let him browsing through my CD and music collections. And also let him view few of my porns, ahaha. And as a souvenir, I gave him one of my porn collections, which he really liked. I hope he would save it carefully, not letting him forget me lar, kekeke.

Night went cold, wind blew quite slowly, and it sounded so far away…. And it happened so naturally, he kissed me. Asked me whether I want to be with him tonight or not. You know what I mean, right?

I didn’t have any hesitation at all. I held him tight and kiss him. So it happened…

So tender and soft, it all happened and ended before we could even realize it.

I don’t have any regret. Even IF we both don’t have any opportunity to meet each other again, it’s okay. All I care about is that tonight he’s all mine.

It wasn’t my desperation form in finding my other half that I would do ‘that thing’ with anyone who wants it, though. I just felt, that it’s a right thing to do, with him.

Pity us, not so long after that, while we were still in bed, hugging and starring at each other, my friend Ann came, and ruins the entire romantic ambience. Darn!!!

We quickly jumped to wear our apparel, duh. Then, his older sister called, asked where he was, and at what time he would go home.

This is the time we should be separated. I do have a presentiment that this isn’t our last, though. Said goodbye, hold him once more, let him go home…

And he said to me in an SMS after he arrived home, that we should keep in touch, a love note from him. Some time I should go play to his hometown. Also wished me have tight sleep and a nice dream.

What do I do now? What am I feeling?

Is He the ‘One’ For Me?

2006-11-23T12:54:00.000+07:00

Maybe about one month ago, someone on Trevvy gave me a kiss. Unlike the others which I just reply-kiss and ignore, something on his intro somehow attracted me.
It said “Please leave a message…”

Haha, as if he’s so desperate in finding someone in Trevvy that would message him ah. So I was just try to be kind, sent a light PM to him,
“Hi, how are you? Just leave you a message as you requested:-) ”

Then, the day after, he replied me,
“Hello there, thanks for send me a message, are you Indonesian? Can you speak Indonesian?”

*the followings are our messages on Trevvy, which I translate into English, so you wouldn’t get flustered*
“Uh, yeah, I’m Indonesian, sure I can ‘ngomong’ Indonesia. Hehe. Mind if I ask you some intro?”
“Oh, yea, my name is ******** *******, you can call me ****/*****, I’m 28 y/o from ****. What should I call you?” I ‘ll call him ‘Mouse’ here.
“You can call me Chris, Chris Lee. Anyway, do you have any messenger?”
“Sure, sure, here’s my YahooID *********. My MSN *******@******.com. My Gmail **********@gmail.com.
“Okay, I’ll add you there, we’ll chat there instead ya.”

…………………………………………………………………………

He’s on his 28, currently working on his family business, as a financial manager. He told me that formerly he lived in B-town also, got his bachelor degree on a private university, so he understands B-town quite well.

Well, he’s also bisexual, just as I am. So since he’s the only son in his family, sure he has the obligation to come out of the closet (or moreover, has a long term relationship with a man instead of a woman). Easy speaking, he must be married some time in the future. Yea, I told him, that I do have the same oblige, to be married some time (which I don’t want to think about right now). Even if I’m not the only son in my family, but my parents put a really great expectation on me, since I’m the oldest son and all. So I can say we’re no different in this case.

Not much I can tell about him here, since I must protect his privacy, I’m sure you all understand.

And after tons of PMs, e-mail, chat, and SMS, he said that he is going to B-town this Nov 24^th (Friday) to attend one of his friend’s wedding. He asked whether we can meet or not. He left one evening spared to meet me. Yes, that was what I told him. Because I thought that it was a good chance to meet him, I dunno if I could get any chance to meet him again or not.
And now I’m getting anxious, whether he would look like what I imagined him to be or not…..

Lance Bass on Extra

2006-11-23T02:08:00.000+07:00

One of my friend was recently 'come out of the closet', so when I found this clip from youtube, I think it's relevant to bring this out.
It is a clip about Lance's reasons for coming out (still it's not representative, but it's okay)... which has not been exposed too much by those media. And of course a bit about his hottie boyfriend, Leimkul (duh, dunno if I spell it right or not). Gosh, Leimkul.
Despite how 'basi' this clip is (well, yea, it was posted on August), still, I post it here.

2 Crazy Karaoke Girls (Korean)

2006-11-22T17:59:00.000+07:00

My friend gave me this funny video and told me to watch it (to relieve me from my emotional stress few days ago). And I watched it over and over, haha...
I heard that they're very popular in South Korea.
Watch it! you will find it's really hillarious...*lol*
Geez these girls are crazy.. o_O

Video 1

Video 2

Video 3

Video 4

I will inform you if there's their newest video. Watch it! Recommended lor..

A Guy Who Needs Some Fresh Air

2006-11-20T16:41:00.000+07:00

Sometimes I just failed to understand, how some people can deal with their ordinary (and boring) lives. You know, just like those people who always study and study, ignoring all those life’s excitement. Have an undeviating life. What a flat life it could be.

I often think that it’s kinda exhausting to be kind and normal guy. Sometimes I just want to break free from this life.

Go to my uni as usual, attend the class, doing my assignment, having a gossip session or two with my friends, have lunch with Ed (while staring at those hot bods in my uni, hoping some time we’ll lucky enough to have one as our boyfriend, lol), doing my tasks as a network administrator, and so so. Life sometimes can be a routine, a cycle you follow on and on, always passing on the same track…

I dunno if I’m just the one who feels like this, but sometimes I feel surfeited. I always need to feel some fresh air. I need dynamic activities, outside these daily routines. Once, I took a personality test in Tickle.com, and they said that surfeited feelings may because I have a rather complex and superior mind and tends to have deep thoughts (about my life, my feeling, and everything). They also said that is really good, because I can surpass beyond other people thoughts. But for me, sometimes it kinda annoying, because I easily get bored with something simple and routines and (this is what I hate the most) I became somehow skeptic and philosophical sometimes.

So I just feel somehow envy those so-called simple-minded guys, who always take everything easy and plain. They wouldn’t have a deep trouble in their life, because they don’t take anything too hard. Some cheesy-brained guys from mIRC for instance. Gosh, as I can see, for them life is no more than a party which is not to be taken so seriously. They would always go clubbing, have sex, find a boyfriend, break up, go with friends, have a crush on hunks, and do the same things again repetitiously and perpetually. If I were them, I’d feel EMPTY. I’m not fulfilled.

It’s not that I’m not enjoying my life though. I enjoy my life and not bored of it (but I do sometimes). I love every moment of my life; I really thank God for giving me such a chance to live. But the difference of me and common people is that I tend to think too deeply sometimes.

I think it’s hard to meet someone like me (Ed doesn’t count, hehe), who tends not to think plain and simple as a white paper.

I want some change!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Maybe it’s just because I’ve been tortured mentally last week. Now I become emotional. A drama queen, once more.

Exhausting Week

2006-11-19T11:17:00.000+07:00

I just need one word for picturing this past week,

CHAOTIC

Yea, chaotic, that’s right. With all those assignments, laboratorial sessions, report, and exams, I could barely close my eyes to enjoy even a tiny bit of sleep. Geez, so relieved I finally pass this week…. Till then..

Evil Nemesis

2006-11-13T11:29:00.000+07:00

Unexpectedly, since last year, I have been assigned as one of the network administrators in my uni. FYI, network administrators in my uni has been assigned tasks such as maintaining the network (hardware and software), managing websites, databases, and so so. Long to short, we are ensuring that the information technology in my uni implemented well.

From the beginning, me and one of my bestfriends, Lim (he’s also a network administrator here) dislike this one senior, named Jan. Well, basically, he’s such a loser jerk. He doesn’t have many friends either. You see, that’s maybe because he puts his foot in his mouth. He often says rude and offensive things. No attitude.

Until today, I and Lim try to get used to it. But today is different; suddenly we two got furious and yelled at him after he scorned us. And then we walked out from the administrator room, not looking back anymore. As our protest form, from now on we insist, won’t ever enter the administrator room, unless, he apologizes to us both or until he’s graduated from uni (since it’s his last year in uni). He said back then that he didn’t need us at all as administrator. Puh, I just wanna see how long his stubbornness lasts. Don’t want to be arrogant, but I can say that I and Lim hold important roles as administrators there. We have connections to almost all the lecturers in uni (unlike him), I myself administer the website and database, I also managing the accounting for the administrator union, while Lim himself manages the internet account and the e-mail system. So basically without us, he will be in charge for almost everything. Take that you beyotch! Try to manage whole things, while he also has the final projects waiting to be finished before this semester. Needless to say, it’s almost impossible.

Our other admin colleagues asked us to forget about that, since that’s his behavior, and nothing we can do about that. Ciss, what kind of behavior izzat?! Has a spiky mouth to other whereas he’s sensitive himself, such an egoist prick. Yes, I admit he’s bright, no matter what, but still, with that kind of behavior he won’t be a successful person in outside world.

It has been 5 days since that scratch, and he doesn’t even seems to realize that we two are absent from the admin room neither talk to him. Pfuit, such a low EQ prick he is. Nevertheless, we two don’t have to worry about our resources in admin room. I can always do remote desktop to my computer in that room from anywhere. So amid my absence from the admin room, I don’t lose the contact to the blogosphere. Huh, he wants to play the stubborn game with me. Let’s see who the winner is.

Movie Review

2006-11-09T12:04:00.000+07:00

Continuing my study-procrastinate chronicles, I watched TWO movies yesterday. I bought them since about one month ago though, but rarely had time to watch them. Although this time is no different (I supposedly don’t have time to watch them), but still. Augh, naughty me.

Yeah, I watched Over the Hedge and Monster House. Quite late, yea, and also quite childish because they’re all animation movies, but still, I love animation.

Monster House
From the title itself you should’ve figured what it’s about. Three kids: DJ (Mitchel Musso), Chowder (Sam Lerner), and Jenny (Spencer Locke) discover that the house across the street from DJ's is alive. It eats anything that goes on its property. They try to convince the babysitter (Maggie Gyllenhaal), the police, and some weirdo named Skull (Jon Heder). They try to unravel the mystery of the house and they have to go inside to find that the house is haunted by superfat woman’s ghost (voiced by Kathleen Turner).

From the ‘gembar-gembor’ and all, I thought this film is interesting. But after I watched it myself, yeah, I say it’s really average la. Not giving that much excitement.

Over the Hedge
Traveling raccoon con artist, RJ (Willis), arrives in a woods outside a human city in the Midwest, excited about the wonders that living near humans can bring hungry animals. What he finds, however, is an Amish-like community that is deathly afraid of humans, after their leader, Vern the tortoise (Shandling), has an encounter with human boys that terrifies him. Encouraged by RJ, however, the animals slowly venture over the hedge that separates them from the brand new suburban development that appeared over the winter while they were sleeping, and what RJ shows them is a whole new world where humans leave tin cans full of fish and other food in big canisters, ripe for the taking. As they get closer and closer to humans, however, their comfortable lives in the woods appears to be threatened...

Wow wow, that’s what I call GREAT. Really, it was like, the best animation I’ve ever seen. Uncomplicated plot, cute characters (See those lil’ hedgehogs, so cuuuteee) amazing graphics, and incredible voice act, all those are mingling in this movie. I’m soooo going to watch it again. Recommended to watch. Now I wonder, do they sell the stuffed characters?? If they do, I’ll buy it for sure^^

My New Google Talk

2006-11-08T16:08:00.000+07:00

*Naughty naughty Chris is now procrastinate his assignments and study-plan for the next week exams by blogging…

After all those babblings from my friends, finally I downloaded Google Talk software. At first, when I installed it yesterday, I kinda doubt that my uni will allow connection for this messenger, since ye know, MSN Messenger has been banned since few months ago. And Yahoo! Messenger sometimes had error because of the proxy limit, darn… And all they say is,

“Yeah, we can cut our bandwith usage and limit unwanted things distributed through the network via messenger”

And I just ask myself, “What unwanted things sih??? Bodoh them all.”

Yea, at least they didn’t ban Google Talk from running la.
And guess who my very first friend on Google Talk is? Yeah, none other than dearie defiant himself. Naughty me, interrupted him between his study sessions, just to have a lil’ chat, haha. Geez, we will have the exact same exams next week (we are taking the same course, btw), what a coincidence ^^

But our chat was interrupted by a call from my lecturer, waiting for me for that discussion session I mentioned earlier in my last post. So I left defiant back to study again. And when I came back, he was taking a nap :-)

Ah, I must back to study againnnnn…*just realizing I’m wasting my time in front of my computer*

P.S.: All of you, Google Talk user, add me ya. So we could have some chit-chat then^^ My e-mail is cyber.lie@gmail.com

Back to My Busy Life

2006-11-06T09:32:00.000+07:00

Today I’m heading back to B-town; leave my beloved J-town and all those holiday pleasures in my home, heading back to the crowded and busy uni life, once again.

Geez, there’s 4 EXAMS waiting for me and of course there’s still holiday assignments which I tried to ignore while I’m in holiday mood these two weeks back. Dunno why, but I always procrastinate every uni-related things while I’m at home. So here’s the list of things awaiting me in next two weeks in uni:

4 EXAMS. All of them are in one week. Arrgggggghhhhh. Even the thought of how thick and complicated the lecture books are makes me frustrated somehow. Since all the pre-holiday lectures I’ve had before the holiday seems to ‘merembes keluar’ from my head. Ed, I need your help with this….. Seriously.
Few lecture-assignments-which-are-supposedly-collected-tomorrow-which-I-haven’t-finished-AT-ALL. Blame me.
Final group discussion with my laboratorial-advisor lecturer about one of my laboratorial session.
Preparation for next laboratorial session.
Group meeting with my friends about our group assignments.

My God, please help me getting through all this…Amen.

And btw, I change my template again lor… It’s so amazing how easily bored I am, so I think that’s explains my liking to change my template too often, hehe. D you like it? It has the same base form with the old one though, since I do like the layout. I just modified the template a bit, especially on the background. And if you ever visit my friendster, this background is one I use also there.

'Tante-tante' Chat

2006-11-04T11:28:00.000+07:00

I have known that ‘this’ will come eventually.
Ever since I read it on my fellow bloggers’ post about such things, I knew that this will happen.
And finally, ‘this’ happens to me.

Yesterday, some of my relatives and my Ma’s friends did some gathering on my house. As usual, when all those ‘tante-tante’ gather around, chatter and laugh spread around the house. About their children, about who’s marrying who, about divorce, about artist’s latest gossip, and more…
It really was my fault for coming home in this wrong situation. Blame me also for entered through the main door since all the ‘tante-tante’ gathers around there on guest room.

And when I entered the house, everyone was like turning head onto me.
Everyone started to said to me this innocently,
“Wahhhh lil’ Chris is so big now. Do you have a girlfriend, honey???*chatter chatter chatter*

And I tried to smile decorously (which was just looked like a smirk) and answered timidly,
“Umm, no..”

Then my Ma would just reply,
“Ah, don’t tease my son la… Right now he’s too busy on his study. He never thought about such thing la.” *chuckle softly*

And then of course it continued with,
“Aww, he’s so dashing. I can’t believe he doesn’t have one.”*chuckle chuckle*

If only I could say this, “Yeah, right, a girlfriend. That exactly what a gay guy expects.” *soft laugh*
But noooo, everyone would knocked unconscious had I dare enough to say that. Instead, I just said,
“Hehe, thanks for your kudos, Mrs. R. Now, if you all don’t mind, I would take a bath ya. Excuse me.” *soft smile once again*

“Waw, he’s such a well-mannered guy also, how sweet….” Geez

And I also know that it would come one day when everyone start to ask me,
“Ah, you’re an adult now. When will you get married?? Where’s your girlfriend?? Bring her here sometimes, so we could know how she looks like. ”

That’s why I better keep myself away from my Ma’s friends and my relatives. Oh, well…

Engineering Cases

2006-11-03T10:40:00.000+07:00

For those engineer rainbowlanders like me...

MSDS for women

Women's reaction graph

tha Control panel

So is it a sign to choose man than woman? Teehee^^

Deep Down in IRC Jungle

2006-10-31T07:20:00.000+07:00

Well, one week without any particular thing to do is so boring. Especially when I knew STUPIDO is going to Singapore for 3 days while I’m just here, doing nothing. So that explains why I plunged myself once again in the wilderness of mIRC forest. Where you can find these following things lies:

A bunch of ‘sok-keren’ baboons who will judge you based on your appearance and physical properties. Which make you feel ugly whereas they aren’t any better.
Idiotic crocodiles who think you’re going to have an ONS (one night stand) with’em right after that chit-chat session.
A group of sneaking snakes who fake their face, fake their life, and fake their every little things just to fooling you around and see you feel down.
Few ‘newbie’ penguins who always feel too paranoid to reveal who they really are. Won’t let you see their pics or even tell you their name because too scared of the prospect of being captured. (Helloo, what’s the point of you chatting here then….??)
‘Sugar-daddy’ honey-bear. No explanation for this one.
The tricky foxes, looking for their sugar-daddy prey to come near, trying to trap them for all the money.
And last (and of course least) is a group of real nice little forest fairy, all humble and warm. Will guide you through if you lost in the forest. Offering you the real hospitality of the rainbowlander if you lucky enough too meet them.

Then I met these two guys,
Edw: I classified him as a newbie penguin. This 19 y/o young guy is currently in the same uni wif one of my girl friends, named Fa. Even they’re in the same major but in the different grade (because Edw is one-year younger than her also). He’s kinda unadorned and distrustful, which made me somehow peevish on him. Not only once, he asked me to send him my pic through MMS (although he has seen it already in my friendster). But nope lah. I will never ever send my pics through MMS.

Vn: 19 y/o. Absolutely fox. Didn’t expect much from this guy since he’s far away from me (he’s in Kalimantan btw). And especially he asked me to switch my mobile number to another provider thus would freed us from the SMS charge. Geezz! His reluctant to sacrifice even tiny-bits of his mobile-phone credit proving that he isn’t serious and really doesn’t worth my time.

Yah, you can see how my futile search of love fail miserably once again. It seems that my prince charming isn’t coming any closer this time, huhuuu. And I’m pretty sure that he isn’t coming through mIRC. Owgh, where are thou, my prince???

Duh, my skin is so dry becoz of this dry weather of J-town.

Another Mind Elaborating Conversation

2006-10-27T07:47:00.000+07:00

Releasing my mind from the thought of being deceived (and risks of bankruptcy), I went to Taman Anggrek Mall with a bunch of friends yesterday. Maybe because it’s the 2^nd day of Lebaran, the amusement places like Dunia Fantasi (Ancol Jakarta Bay City), Taman Mini, and zoos crowded with people from all over the country. Taman Anggrek wasn’t an exception. Especially that was because the Turkey Festival hullabaloo and (infected by the joy of Lebaran) great discount from branded products, such as Giordano, the Executives, and so many more. Even Terry Palmer bedcover gave discount up to 50%. Well, well….really makes you ‘laper mata’ just to see them all.

Yeah, I was the first to come, so I waited in the Gramedia bookstore. Browsing for books while at the same time looking for gay guys beneath my gaydar, as usual (thanks to my futile searching for love). There were cute guy over there, gave subtle signals to me, looking at me from the top of the book he read at times (“Hellooo cutie”*wink wink*).
That moment could’ve turned into an introduction or a chit-chat session had my friends yet to come. Sigh, apparently, he isn’t destined for me, since my friends came and ruin the entire ambience. *sob sob*

Anyway, what I want to write today is what I’ve discussed wif my friends during our lunch session on the Platinum resto.
My friend, Jim, have just recently discovered that one of his best friends in uni is actually gay. And of course, like any homophobe will do, he restrains himself not to close with that ‘homo friend’ of his anymore. Jim said that he’s scared that ‘si homo’ might like him more than just friend.
Well, I just laughed out loud when Jim told me this. Haha, if he only knew that right beside him there’s a queer guy laughing. Jim also told me convincingly (as if he were a professional in this gay psycho-social thingie and we were a bunch of elementary students not knowing anything; he was sure that we didn’t know anything about gay world, yea yea yea*mocking laugh*) that there’s a term to call those homo people, that is “BELOK”. Ha?! Being gay guy, I’ve never heard such name before, even in gay-to-gay conversation. He must’ve derived it himself. Of course, once more I laughed out loud. I believe that he derived that term from these terms,

Heterosexual guy = Straight (in Indonesian means “lurus”)
Homosexual guy = Not Straight (in Indonesian literally means “belok”)

It’s sooo amazing how straight people think that they comprehend about GLBT thingie.
Moreover, being gay doesn’t mean that we would like all men. We do choose who we like. Apparently many people still think that if you gay, you like ALL men (my friend Jim, for instance).

Gay = Love men
Love men = Picking any man in front of you
So if you gay = You’ll love any man in front of ye no matter who he is

Helloooo *knock knock*, we do have feelings, ye know? Not all about lust.

Then another friend of mine, Lia, plunged herself into this hot conversation.
“Yep, one of my friends in dorm also gay lor… I didn’t notice at all, since he’s a nerdy type, with fat body, brown skin, and so fond of computer thingie. He didn’t give even any subtle gay impression. Then one day, he told me that he was quarrelling with his boyfriend (who was surprisingly 10 years younger). Geeezzzzzzz. Every male species in my dorm was like, ‘What??? OMG, could he also have a crush on me??! Noooo.’ And everyone suddenly looked for a new dorm and moved away. Can’t blame them, though”

Hm hm hmmmm, those homophobe pricks… But I won’t criticize them today. I want to highlight part of what Lia saying that she didn’t notice that his friend’s gay at all, since he’s a nerdy type, with fat body, brown skin, and so fond of computer thingie. Yah, I can say that most people have images of a gay guy as guy with a bit queeny behavior and matching head-to-toe apparel, of course with that fondness of skin care, spa, manicure-pedicure, and other girl things in mind. I can say that sometimes this definition is valid. But from what I see, most of gay people nowadays show absolutely-straight-behavior. You wouldn’t believe that someone’s gay unless he told you himself. And what’s with that thought that if you’re gay you shouldn’t into that computer stuff?? It is dead wrong….

I myself love that computer thingie so much since I was in junior high school back then. Not only with that computer stuff, I also great with that electronic devices lor…
Here’s I list few things I like other than that:

COMPUTER GAMES: strategy (DotA, Age of Mythology), sport (FIFA World Cup), fighting (you name it), and many more.
SPORTS: Swimming, ice-skating (yeah, it’s quite queeny, kekeke), bowling, and baseball.
TV-SERIES: Scrubs, L.O.S.T, One Tree Hill (quite gay, yea), Queer as Folks (it’s GAY, I know), Will and Grace (it’s a sit-com, so I didn’t count it as a gay one), Friends, and many more.
MUSIC: I don’t like Village People’s YMCA or another so-called gay songs :-/
I like Chinese songs, like JJLin, Jay Chou, Wang Lee Hom, Jocie Guo, Sam Lee (Lee Sheng Jie), and David Tao. I also like t.A.T.U, Kevin Covais (American Idol Season 5), McFly, and Jesse McCartney.

Am I queeny?

F-ing Impostor

2006-10-24T19:15:00.000+07:00

“When all the things went bad, and no one else to talk about, all I do is just turn my head to the trustworthy blogosphere.”
The thing that I most hate in my life is being deceived. One of the reasons of that hate is that my family has a really bad-bad history of being deceived, not only by strangers, but also by my own relatives. And this incident contributes more to that disgusting section of our family history.

My family runs a family business here in J-town. To be exact, we’re working in trading and financing. I cannot say it a big one, but still, it’s an adequate business. And few weeks ago, this man came from nowhere. I dunno exactly about the incident though, but I’ll try to explain it as much as what I understand. This man, approximately on his 40’s, with slanting eyes, a bit fat, and had an expensive look, asked to my Pa to help him get some limited items that should be imported from Malaysia (Well, that explains why my Pa suddenly asked me to go visit Malaysia with him this holiday). Considering the price of that cargo is so expensive, my Pa asked him to give a down payment first. Long to short, he gave the down payment without much talking. The cargo itself arrived few days later, unpaid. For your information, it’s common in trading to get your order delivered before you do a payment, especially if you’re a well-known big and trustworthy customer.

Two days ago they two went to the public notary in order to do-something-I-don’t-really-understand with the business contract. According to the plan, after my Pa receives the payment of that cargo from that f-ing man, that f-ing man will get that cargo delivered. And then My Pa and I fly to Malaysia to pay the cargo. But apparently, everything didn’t go well as planned.

My dad said after, when the two were at the notary office, he felt quite dizzy and it seemed that guy did hypnotize my dad. In that unconscious state of hypnotized, my Pa gave him the right to take the cargo at the harbor without even noticing what he does. Mr. Notary wasn’t different. He gave the key to his deposit box without even noticing. And when they two regained their consciousness, that impostor has gone, left empty deposit box and took all the cargo. It’s useless to call the police. Everything was too late though. Moreover, it’s not much of a help calling the police, cos they will just ask more money from us to have an investigation on this case.

Needless to say, my trip to KL is cancelled, and we should pay the debt that impostor left us with our private assets. Well, it’s just like the old time. But luckily, we still don’t have to declare bankruptcy this time. And now, we start from zero again.
My feelings now unexplainable, either sad, furious, or whatever…. I’m sorry my fellow bloggers, for saying stuff like this…

Damn that f-ing shit! Damn him!!!!

I pray his entire life full with sorrow and suffer!!

Die in misery, you f-ing shit!!!

In the Beginning of Lebaran Holiday

2006-10-23T07:36:00.000+07:00

Today I finally come back to J-town for Lebaran holiday. Thanks to those perpetual stresses they gave for us in the form of assignments, papers, and exams, I could barely enjoy spare times just for myself during this academic term. And now, when holiday comes, I just want to relax and enjoy my spare times to the fullest. My Pa said maybe I could accompany him for a business trip to Malaysia this holiday (Hurrayy!), we’ll get assurance for this in this few days. Well, maybe if I’m lucky enough, I could have opportunities to meet my fellow bloggers from Malaysia since we’ll stay in KL :-p But of course, it’s not good for hoping too much, hehehe.

Thing that have changed on me during this academic term and I’m so care about is: I lose my weight AGAIN, which I hardly gained on last holiday (before this academic term started. Which means, I lose about 6 kgs in this 3 months. Geez, now I’m as skinny as a chopstick.

No wonder sih. During holiday, I usually eat about 5-7 times a day (haha, amazed aren’t you?)*gobble gobble gobble* But on the contrary, during the uni term, I just eat 3 times a day. And that’s, for sure, inadequate for constraining my weight. I have such a weird and inefficient metabolism :-/

Hmmm, I haven’t been reading newspaper for a week, and today when I read the last Monday (or Tuesday? Or Wednesday? Whatever…) newspaper, I read that Indonesian President, Mr Susilo Bambang Yoedhoyono, apologized (again) to the Malaysian Foreign Minister (duh, forgot his name already) and Singapore, because of the fog and the dust that has been ‘exported’ from Indonesia because of the forest fire. Well, of course, because they’re Indonesia’s neighbor country, they also affected by the fog and dust from the forest fire.

Skeptically (and queerly :-p) I said, “Ha-ha-ha…”

Because apology doesn’t solve the problem at all. Why didn’t he just try to extinguished the fire and prevent the forest fire before, instead. Well, I can say, this isn’t the first time we had forest fire. To be ~~exact~~ harsh, INTENTIONAL forest fire. Because the fire caused by those ‘goblok*’ people who think it is faster and better to make new agricultural field (a.k.a. ladang) by BURNING the forest, instead of cut the trees in the forest. Well, I can ~~say~~ yell them,
“GO TO HELL YOU MORON CREATURE!” *showing that angry queer expression*

Geez, where did they get such moronic ideas?? If Mr. President wants to stop that fire, he should’ve got those morons jailed, better if for the rest of their life. More firm the law is better. I also saw from the newspaper, the photos of the orangutan which saved by the forest by a group of environmental volunteer. And the dead corpse of a turtle, die burned by the fire. Whew, it really made me sad…just to see that orangutan’s expression. Maybe I’m not the one who would give a big support for the environmental campaign or what on the first place, but still, I’m concerned. So when this so-called Indonesian President apologized and promised that this won’t be happened again next time, all I do is just laugh, “Ha-ha-ha…”
Because I know he wouldn’t do anything. Pfuit.

*goblok: Indonesian term means “stupid idiot”

Crush Calculator

2006-10-20T17:04:00.000+07:00

I’ve just visited Harvey’s blog and found on his latest post something called ‘Crush Calculator’ of which the author claimed that you could calculate the one you like’s feeling. All you gotta do is just typing your full name and 3 people you like. But instead of calculating their crush on you, they just fooling you around by sending the names you type to the one who suggest you to fill that fake calculator.

Well, about one year ago a dear friend of mine also popped the same trick one me. Well, me as a naïve one (no protest :p) excitedly jumped and typed my full name and ones I like into that box without read the disclaimer box correctly.

And when I clicked “Calculate!”

Owh shit! I’ve been fooled. OMG.

You know why I was so frightened? Well yes, because I typed guys names as the ones I like. Arrrgggggghhhhhh. And the thought that the submitted form was sent to one of my straight friends absolutely scared me. Geeeeezzzzz, what my friend would say if they know?????

I abruptly cancelled all my tasks that day, just to meet that friend of mine whose quiz fooled me. After a few blah blah blah and bleh bleh bleh, I (luckily) finally made him sure that I was just joking with that quiz. I also said that I’ve known such trick before and just played on him by filling guys’ names in those boxes. And lucky me he’s kinda unadorned and well…long to short, he just thought it was funny. *my heart was beating so fast in relieve*.

Oh well…

Filler... Filler...

2006-10-19T08:44:00.001+07:00

Found this in one of my friend’s blog and I think it’s nice to share it here with you guyz. So you can comprehend what you really feel toward someone =)

*When you LIKE someone, you want to have him for your own egoistic reasons.
*When you CARE for someone, you want him to be happy and not for your own self.
*When you LOVE someone, you will do everything for his happiness, even if you have to sacrifice your own life.

*When you LIKE someone and be with him, then you will ask “May I kiss you?”
*When you CARE for someone and be with him, then you will ask “May I hold you?”
*When you LOVE someone and be with him, then you will hold his hands tight…

*LIKE is whenever he cries, you will say “It’s all right, don’t cry.”
*CARE is whenever he cries, you will cry together with him.
*LOVE is whenever he cries, you will let him cry on your shoulder and you say “Let’s solve it together.”

*LIKE is when you see him you will say, “He’s handsome and gorgeous.”
*CARE is when you see him you see him through your heart and not your eyes.
*LOVE is when you see him you’ll say, “For me he’s the greatest gift God gave me..”

*When the one you LIKE hurt you then you will be furious and don’t want to talk with him anymore.
*When the one you CARE for hurt you, you will cry for him.
*When the one you LOVE hurt you, you will just say, “It’s okay, he just doesn’t know what he has done.”

*When you LIKE him, you will PUSH him to love you.
*When you CARE for him, you will LET HIM DECIDE.
*When you LOVE him, you will always WAIT for him with all your faith and sincerity.

*LIKE means you will accompany him when it worth for you.
*CARE means you will accompany him when he needs you.
*LOVE means you will accompany him whatever you do.

*LOVE is demanding.
*CARE is about giving and receiving.
*LOVE is about giving with all your sincerity.

Oh, I LIKE the right guy in the picture by the way, the one with the pale blue tuxedo, lol.

Finally

2006-10-16T08:02:00.000+07:00

Yesterday…

I told STUPIDO that I’m also gay.

Well, not directly. But still.

When I checked my trevvy (formerly known as sgboy.com) account yesterday and browse through the docklet, I accidentally reckoned this picture of him, which I’ve already familiar, laying there, on the random profile generator. For your information (which I don’t think it’s a necessity, I believe you all already knew trevvy before), trevvy always displaying random profile on the main page. It’s some kind of member advertising though. And it really was a coincidence, indeed, that his profile was displayed on the random profile generator, right when I browse through my account.

I opened his profile, and maybe part of me was a bit nonchalant of the prospect of him knowing me and my gayness, I sent him a PM. Wanted to know how he would react to that.

>Subject: Hm….
>Are you STUPIDO??

I don’t really care if he would act ice-cool as if nothing happened or avoiding me because of that. I don’t care. I didn’t do it on some special reasons (like breaking him up wif Ca or make him afraid, for instances). It was just an impulsive urges to do so.

Nah, I just want to see his expression when he sees me tomorrow.

Today, the same time, the same place…

I checked at my trevvy account once again, and I noticed I get few kisses and one PM. Anxiously I opened my inbox to see my PM, and there, STUPIDO replied,

>Subject: Re: Hm…
>Hehehe, yes, it’s me ;-)

Yah, he knows me now. Not a big deal actually.

Yay! I’m Back

2006-10-12T19:02:00.000+07:00

I’m really sorry for the late updates to this blog. My internet connection was really bad this last week. You know, I even couldn’t open the blogger homepage. Pheww, the problem is over, finally… That d*** ‘lelet’ internet connection, always makes me mad….

Yah, hope this fast connection will last long^^

Men vs Women: Bermain Api

2006-10-12T18:02:00.000+07:00

Recently I’ve been thinking…

I dunno what’s wrong with me, really. I can attract women easily (yah, well maybe not that easy, but still) but it seems my attraction qualities aren’t useful against men.

I never do flirting thingie on women though. I never did. But they still saying that I’m sweet, understanding, not demanding, etc etc, and they like me because of that! (Yah, well, it’s not peculiar that I’m sweet and understand girls’ feelings, I’m gay after all)

And now, in my uni there’s this girl, I call her LIN. My friends told me at times, she has a ‘feeling’ for me. Well, since last year, I can say that we quite close somehow. I often asked her about the assignments, the tutorial, and many more because we were in the same class back then. But I never give her, even any subtle signal back, that I like her, I swear. Especially for that I’ve already aware of my gayness, so I try not to ‘bermain api’ with girls feelings. I don’t want to give her any hope, even slightest one that I might be with her. I don’t want to deceit her or myself. I believe in karma, you know. Now I chose men than women to be with me. And I get along with it.
Back to the story, this condition is now become more severe. That is because my friend Lim. My close friend, Lim, boasts that I AM NOW DATING LIN against the real fact that I’m actually not. He even said that in front of LIN. Gosh. And when I saw LIN’s face when Lim said this, she smiled! I know this was a bad sign, because she has NEVER smiled like that before, when anyone told her a gossip that A guy or B guy liked her. In such cases, she would just silent and showed that sullen (a.k.a ‘cemberut) face. I inferred from that smile, the gossip of her having a ‘feeling’ for me is true.
This few days, she also sends these short messages,

“Good night… Have a nice dream and sleep tight ^^”

“Chris, I want to have lil’ chat… Did you know Al said something about me? Blablablablablablablablablablablabla”

And many more… I know she just try to have conversations with me. And I, being well-mannered, of course reply her with such a good and diplomatic answer, not letting myself plunge into man-o-woman kind of relationship (as what STUPIDO has with Ca).
Owwwwh, I wish that my self-persona is more useful against men x-)

Confession of a Broken Heart

2006-10-07T07:53:00.000+07:00

Remember when I told you in my post about STUPIDO is now dating a girl named Ca? This post is related to that post, so if you haven’t read it yet before, I recommend you to read it before read this one.

Today as usual I met Ca at my uni, in my spare time between those laboratorial sessions which took all day long. It has been my habit, since the first time we quite close, for making fun of each other. Yah, at first we mocked each other out la, especially there was also my friend Lim, who also has the same hobbies of ‘ejek-mengejek’ so the mocking session was so uproar, haha. I said that she’s fatty lah, and many other names and she responded by calling me skinny and what what else. I hate when she started mock me about the gossip of me dating a girl friend of mine, Lin (that’s another story which I’d like to tell you later).
But after that, her expression became serious. She said she wanted to tell me something but kinda hesitate to do so. So I kept nagging her about that and told her that I would zip my mouth if what she’d tell is actually a secret. Lim also espoused me by told Ca that we two have mastered in romance relationship and that perhaps we can help her solve her problems.

So the story began… She told me that she’s not happy for being with STUPIDO. And somehow she regrets the choice she made back then, for being wif STUPIDO. She told me, that dating with STUPIDO is no more than common friend relationship. She asked us will it do any better if she breaks up with STUPIDO.
These are small picks of her saying which really getting through my mind,
“Please you two teach him…”
“Teach him what?”
“Teach him to be a real man.”
“What do you mean Ca? What real man?”
“I dunno, it’s seems as we two aren’t a dating couple. All I feel is our relationship is no better than a friendship.”
…………………………………..

I pity her though. Really. At that time, it was really HARD for me not to tell her this: “For God’s sake, he’s gay!!! He just uses you as a concealer for his gayness. Broke up with him Ca, otherwise you would suffer even more… Please… break up wif him. It’s really for your own good” Shit!

My heart ached to see her like that. But instead of yelling her that whole truth, all I can do for her was just telling her that she should ask STUPIDO about where this relationship will go. And she should also tell him what actually she expects from him, now that she and STUPIDO are dating.
I didn’t envy nor jealous at all at their fake relationship (thanks to STUPIDO for merely acting as a straight man), all I want to say is: What the points of him for dating a girl if he actually couldn’t make her at least enjoy the relationship itself. Even if he only makes her as a concealer, at least show her a little respect and attention. Don’t let her suffer like this. It’s such an egoistic thing to do.
Drenching my curiosity of how they two dating, I also asked her how many times they two go on a date, just the two of them. And guess what? She told me that they only made it once, to the cinema, watching a movie, yesterday. Oh, what a date…..

Das Boobs: a Peek through Her Heart

2006-10-02T10:32:00.000+07:00

“One of my girl friends is feeling generous today; she lets me peek through her heart, literally.”

Yesterday I went to the church with a bunch of friends. They are Ren, Li, Ty, Sa, and Nez. And as usual, after we attended the Holly Mass there, we would feel a bit hungry. So there we were, discussing about the restaurant choices. And at last, we finally decided to try the new restaurant near my dorm. Part of it because we heard that after 7 o’clock in the evening, there would be a half price discount there, lolz.

The restaurant wasn’t too crowded that night. And there at the restaurant, we sat at the 6-person dinner table. And then Li chose to sit in front of me. Li wore a bit tight denim jacket tonight. And perhaps because the restaurant’s ambience was so warm and cozy, she felt a bit sweaty. She took of her jacket. And inside, she only wore a thin I-dunno-what-to-call-it-in-English some kind of ‘baju kutang’, that kind you only wear if you want to sleep at home if you know what I mean. Sleeve-less and of course a bit loose. Owh, this girl is so skanky…kekeke.
You must have guessed what happened next, while she ate, she bowed at times. At first just slight bow. But time after time, she bowed more and more deep. Gave me a free look to her boobs (her boobs were just a bit covered by her breast-supporter by the way, lolz). Gosh, fortunately I’m gay. Other (ab)normal male-species would just take advantage at my position. You can even take a picture of her boobs while she bowed quite long lho because she really didn’t paying attention to the surrounding at all while she ate. Ah, ah, she was really lucky that I’m such a guy with a great decency, hahaha.

The Coffee Chronicles

2006-09-28T10:48:00.000+07:00

Among many kind of drinks, I love coffee oh-so-much, so when I find these interesting pics, I want to post it here so you can also see.
Pity me, there's no such artistic coffeeshop that serve this kind of coffees here in Indo, huhu...

The curly half and half pattern...

The romantic choco de la heart...

The romantic milky sunset...

The fabulous hibiscus...
Yummyyyyy.....*drool*