Doubts and Fear

Sorry my dear readers, for the lack of update these few months. Well, one of the reasons is my computer is still hasn’t been repaired yet, bleah. And I don’t like to use public computer on campus to write blog entry, hehe.

My relationship with Cedy goes really well I think, especially after we met in Jakarta on Sept 21. That was our first meeting though. So sad we cannot meet too often since we are actually separated one hour flight away. He’s in Singapore, while I’m in Jakarta Indonesia.

Since few days ago, we’ve been talking about the future of our relationship. Well, yes, it is indeed a sensitive matter to talk about, since our relationship is just budding, but I think it is necessary sometimes, we don’t live only for tomorrow, do we?
Yeah, we both always afraid that we move too fast in this relationship, practically it is just barely 3 months since we make our way together. We already agreed that this relationship not going to be easy, we are still living with our parents, we have this different citizenship, and so many obstacles we still have to overcome. I know that.

I think that he kinda hesitate about this. He said that he cannot wait for something unknown forever and he want a relationship where we can spend our time together. I understand. And as for me, I also don’t want to have a long distance relationship forever; it is really hard for me either. He has his reasons for doubting where this relationship goes. Sigh, I wish I can say to him now that we can live together soon or so, to assure him that the future of our relationship is not something abstract that he should afraid of. But while I still live with my parents, I cannot say that for now, at least in short term (one year). That’s a dream that we must work hard to reach, but I am more than willing to try to make that dream come true. He’s the one I love and I will try my best to be with him no matter what.
Maybe I’m a dreamer, and maybe I don’t always think realistically, that’s me. But I will try my best to reach my dream with all my might. For me, happiness is a matter of choice =D

Yah, I miss him badly, miss hugging him and hold his hands in mine. But sadly, we still don’t know when our next meeting will be. I can only go to Singapore after I graduate next October (which means: 1 MORE YEAR!! ARGHHHHHHHHH). But yeah, hope there will be any change in plan, heh heh *praying*

Okay okay, till then everyone…