Expectation

Everyone has expectation, don't we?

When you know someone new, realize it or not, we will have sets of expectations that following that particular person. For example, when someone messaged you in Grindr, he must have some expectation from you. Either having ons, befriend you, look for beer buddy, or something else.

You and me has different sets of expectations, that's apparent. So when your set of expectation is different than my set, how should we resolve?

This post was actually inspired by my latest Fridae 'incident' if I may say so. so I have this guy sent me a message, asking how I'm doing and such, usual stuff. I replied him casually, as I have stated so many times on my last posts here that I'm not really looking for another relationship (well unless the one to commit relationship with is ready for some long distance action, of course).

We replied each other messages for quite some time, chatting about the current affairs, our activity, and we exchanged number and Facebook. I was hoping more of friendship though, and this guy, Jay, seems fit my ideal image of a healthy friendship. Every few days, Jay and I will just exchange nonchalant messages about how our day was, and how our trip was going, as we both often travel to different cities for work. Since he's younger than me, I even refer him as didi - younger brother and that worked both ways, he also referred me as gege - big brother.

So then, this is the part when things get abit complicated. I restored my laggy Blackberry phone to original factory setting, and it's so unusual of me to forgot creating backup of the phone contact. And ya, creating phone backup for Blackberry is just damned difficult, which partly explains why I could forgot about it at all :p So ya there I was, losing all the numbers there so I couldn't contact him for around a week or so. One day, come this message.

Jay "Missing for one week :("

Me "Ya, I lost my phone setting after reformatting, been planning to message you on facebook instead to ask for your phone number"

Jay "Halah, just say that you forget about me already" ONE. Things start to get weird here... And at the moment, I just promised myself that if he blurt another weird or intimate-inducing phrase again, I would tell him clearly that I had no other intention than just being friends.

Me "Ya, so unusual of me forgot creating backup so I lose all phone numbers in there."

Jay "So why didn't you just message me on Facebook right away?" Hello duuude... We're not even boyfriends, what's with the interrogative behavior?

Jay "I miss youuuu, you knooow? I'm coming to Dubai next week next week btw." Whamm, TWO. I. Need. To. Tell. Him. Now.

Me *trying to be as easy as possible* "Okay didi, let's meet for some lunch. But well ya, I have no expectation at all ya" BOOM. Bomb dropped.

Jay "..."

And he just doesn't reply to me ever since.

I don't understand this, is it that easy to crush on someone in this man to man world?

I will rephrase that above question more specifically, Is it that easy to claim 'ownership' over someone after just a few casual chats?

Please show me, am I that one that's wrong or it's just him plain shallow? I never, for once, gave him impression that I was in for a relationship. I even shared stories about my beer and fuck buddy here, geez... Had I known it would be like this, I won't even bother replying him in the first place.

Guess we cannot make everyone happy.

Posted with Blogsy