Reflection

Has anyone ever felt tired at times for being gay? Quite often I think about my life so far lately (hey, a lot of free time for daydreaming here in the field), and I feel that things would have been so much (as in soooo much) easier had I been straight.

This thought might be result from all my past relationships with guys and the skepticism that comes with it, lol. I feel kinda disoriented.

Of course I am not regretting the truth, in fact I probably wouldn't become what I am today if I were straight in the first place. But ya, being straight comes with perks for certain things. Like not having to come out to your family and friends for example. And finding spouse potential is not that big of a problem, I think, without people to judge the 'normality' or the 'nature' of relationship.

Lately I've been watching my friends getting married, and have kids. And yet I am still wandering around, trying to find my prince charming somewhere, somewhere. And I dunno, after I find the right man, so what... I still cannot have kids (which is one of the essences of marriage, I think) unless I adopt one. Surrogate mother is out of question. Because the thought of 'planting' my seed in someone else's womb and letting her going through all the maternal things while the child grows inside her, only to take the child away from her just feels not right. Do you agree with me?

I am losing my interest in woman, sexually. And now I come up with all this concept of NSA with guys and not really believe man to man relationship could be long lasting (esp. On a very rare case, you dear couples out there :D). Great.

I don't want to lead a lonely life, of course. Nobody wants that. But after quite some time, you will feel more skeptical of things like finding the perfect man through gay dating site (Which is what I am doing basically, by the way. Mock me). But where else to find good guy?

I am not really into gay scenes by the way. Most of the gay cliques are superficial (no offense, nor trying to be clique expert) and well, simply too exclusive to let anyone else joining. I rarely saw them talking about quality books or gadgets, for example, or things other than hotbods, branded items, discounts, and body care. Not that I do not enjoy such conversations, but talking about those things again and again. Come on... Gimme a break here. We are civilized and educated people and should behave more like one.

There is a proverb. All the good guys are taken or gay. Now all I have to do is finding the gay ones, haha...

And preparing to have dogs as my backup plan.

Posted with Blogsy