Men vs Women: Bermain Api

Recently I’ve been thinking…

I dunno what’s wrong with me, really. I can attract women easily (yah, well maybe not that easy, but still) but it seems my attraction qualities aren’t useful against men.

I never do flirting thingie on women though. I never did. But they still saying that I’m sweet, understanding, not demanding, etc etc, and they like me because of that! (Yah, well, it’s not peculiar that I’m sweet and understand girls’ feelings, I’m gay after all)

And now, in my uni there’s this girl, I call her LIN. My friends told me at times, she has a ‘feeling’ for me. Well, since last year, I can say that we quite close somehow. I often asked her about the assignments, the tutorial, and many more because we were in the same class back then. But I never give her, even any subtle signal back, that I like her, I swear. Especially for that I’ve already aware of my gayness, so I try not to ‘bermain api’ with girls feelings. I don’t want to give her any hope, even slightest one that I might be with her. I don’t want to deceit her or myself. I believe in karma, you know. Now I chose men than women to be with me. And I get along with it.
Back to the story, this condition is now become more severe. That is because my friend Lim. My close friend, Lim, boasts that I AM NOW DATING LIN against the real fact that I’m actually not. He even said that in front of LIN. Gosh. And when I saw LIN’s face when Lim said this, she smiled! I know this was a bad sign, because she has NEVER smiled like that before, when anyone told her a gossip that A guy or B guy liked her. In such cases, she would just silent and showed that sullen (a.k.a ‘cemberut) face. I inferred from that smile, the gossip of her having a ‘feeling’ for me is true.
This few days, she also sends these short messages,

“Good night… Have a nice dream and sleep tight ^^”

“Chris, I want to have lil’ chat… Did you know Al said something about me? Blablablablablablablablablablablabla”

And many more… I know she just try to have conversations with me. And I, being well-mannered, of course reply her with such a good and diplomatic answer, not letting myself plunge into man-o-woman kind of relationship (as what STUPIDO has with Ca).
Owwwwh, I wish that my self-persona is more useful against men x-)