Crazy In Love

Gosh, do you know what am I doing rite now at 1:25 am? I’m blogging becos I can’t sleep. All thanks to Chris (my junior and also my bakka-chan I mentioned earlier in my posts). All was becoz his face always spins around in my head. Now I realize it more, that I fall in love to that bakka-chan. I swear, from the beginning I never had an intention to love him. All was started from that jokes I made with Ed, about that bakka-chan and how naïve he was. But you know what? Now I can’t sleep, just because thinking of him, dat naïve guy I used to joke about. Shit.
How can I be so obsessed about him? Even I myself don’t know it. While I tried to sleep, I even imagined how it feels to hug him, feel his soft skin touch mine, hold him tightly while he sleeps next to me, kiss his lips, hold his hands in mine, arrrggggghhhh. That’s what I mean. Even when I’m writing this post I can’t escape myself from thinking about him.
Maybe it all begins when we meet this afternoon. He had an exam at that time. Because I’m the lecturer assistant for that lecture, I must been there to manage the exam, ensure things went well. There he was, working with his exam, looking somewhat gay with that partially-opened-chest green shirt. A necklace was dangling on his chest, white chest. I like it when he shows his chest, because it seems so white and soft. For two hours I saw him there. That made me realizes even more, that I want him to be mine.
If you remember, I’ve written posts about him several times, about how I like him and so. But in those posts I write about him just to make that X guy who stalks me goes away. I don’t like him, though. He was so annoying. But in this post it’s a different thing.

I even thought to ask him straight about how I love him and I want him to be my boyfriend, but that’s just the prob. He doesn’t know that I’m gay, just like him. Duh, what should I do? If I wait for him to realize about this thing, it will be too late, maybe we will have getting old, married with our fiancée or something like that. As I said before, he is so slow-moving and naive. But also as I said before, I don’t want to be so straight-forward about this sensitive thing. You know, certain people don’t like it when you talk about this with them. They will just fly away from you. And I don’t want that to be happening with me and him.
I like you, I like you, I like you, I like you….
I want you to be mine, Chris.
I really hope we can be together.
Maybe it will be funny, since our name is Chris. Chris and Chris. Mr. and Mr. Chris.
Hey, you know what, it will be funny if we can get through to it and sometimes in the future we get married (I choose Netherland as the place of course, since now Netherland is the only country that allows gay couple to be married).
The wedding itself must be simple. I will just invite our best friends and maybe our parents (if they know that their kids are gay, haha, and they approve our relationship). And Ed will be my best-man, because he will always will.
*the wedding march is playing*
We enter the hall, walking slowly, making our way to the holy altar. We use our best tuxedo, white ones, to symbolize our pure love. I’m looking gorgeous, and so is he. At the special seats our parents cry, just a little, tears of joy. Joy that their kids are getting married.
There on the altar we say our vows. Vows that we will always be together until our mortal destiny separate us away (and I’m sure we will). And then we exchange our rings. The priest blesses us and says that we are married couple. All the guests are cheering on us while us kissing, deeply yet softly. Our friend’s giving us blesses and hope that we will happy together ever after.
After the wedding ceremony, when all our guests have gone home, and there is only me and him, I will hold his hand in mine. You know, like in those romantic movies, I will carry him to our room, which is decorated simply yet romantic. Open the door with my feet and put him on the bed. I sit next to him and I whisper romantic phrases, cuddle him slowly. Kiss him before we do ‘that’ thing, yah you know ‘bout that la. No need for explanation here.
Wakakakaka, what a dream…, crazy dream. Sooo gay.

P.S: Wait ‘till Ed hears about this (and also read this post). I don’t know what he will say (or laugh, for sure). Euggghhhh.