Codename : Stupido

Note: Due to many bloggers request to differ our names, from now on I’d like to call another Chris as STUPIDO (Because he deserves it. He really IS stupid). I hope it will help you understanding my posts better.

I got up this morning, felt so awkward. My throat ache and I didn’t feel too well. I didn’t know why, but I sensed something bad is coming.

I went to my uni at 7 o’clock, and until the time for lunch, nothing happened. So I just thought that the bad augury this morning was a fake. I went lunch wif my best buddy Ed and Ca, one of my girl junior in my uni. We talked a lot, gossiping and teasing at each other. But you know what? This is the start of my misery of the day.

When we were waiting for the meals to come, I teased her about gossip that she’s dating with STUPIDO, and then Ed and I laughed out loud. Part of it was because I knew that it wouldn’t be happen on earth. Gosh, he’s GAY! He wouldn’t get along with girlfriend la. And it sooo not him to do such thing. And then she told me this,

Ca: “Ah, Chris, you’re always late in getting new gossips.”
Me: “What? What? Tell me Ca, are you actually in a relationship?”
Ca: “Yea, since few days ago.”
Me: ”Owh! Really??? Tell me about him~~~. Do I know him?”
Ed: “Ya, tell us, tell us…..How he looks like?”
Ca: “I’m actually dating STUPIDO, hehehe.”
Me: “HA?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!” *Ed and I laughed out loud*
Ed: “Who did have the initiative getting into relationship on the first place?”
Ca: “He did. Aagh, guys! Tell me why did you two laugh so out loud??”
Ed: “Ahaha, it’s really nothing.”
Me: “Lolz, we laughed for another reasons.” *laughed out loud again*
Ca: “Aah, tell me……..Don’t be that annoying.” *sulking*
Me: It really was nothing. Believe me. Eh, why don’t you tell us about your relationship instead?”
Ca: “Actually I didn’t expect this to be happened. I didn’t feel like doing this kind of relationship. It was much better when we still just friends.”

And when our meals were served, I felt queasy. I didn’t feel like to eat anything.

Then after lunch, when Ca was going away, Ed and I discussed about this news. OMG, I couldn’t even believe it. I didn’t even know what to say or what to feel. I dunno I feel either sad because STUPIDO left me, or pity Ca for being a concealer for him without she even realized it. But I’m not furious, I’m not sad. I thought I just a bit shocked. And I tried to figure what’s STUPIDO’s motive in doing this kind of thing.

Is he trying to conceal his gayness? Is he trying to avoid me? Is he…? Is he…? Hundreds questions spinning around, but I couldn’t assured what the correct answers are.

My friend said (thanks to ‘tante’ prince idioth for the counseling session on YM) that STUPIDO just asked me to concern about him more. And that I should give him more attention or what when he comes near me. But I couldn’t get it. Believe me, when STUPIDO gave me attentions, I’d always make sure it was reciprocal. I wouldn’t let it be unrequited. And I don’t think that I’ve made him hesitate about where our relationship goes. We both have been making firm steps, I think, in developing our ‘strange’ relationship (‘strange’ = he doesn’t know I’m gay, I know him, he gave me much attention, I replied him) into something real. If he was asking more attention from me by doing this, well, I can say: it’s a HUGE mistake. By doing this, for me, it means he asked me to leave him. Well, if it necessary, then I’ll do it.

One funny side of this: STUPIDO picks the same girl that I also like. Yea, that wasn’t a typo. I also like Ca, and I would be happy if she be my girlfriend (yah, not as happy as having STUPIDO for my boyfriend though). How could in this misery we still have something in common? SHIT!

Maybe this news affects me more than what I thought. Cos later on, my body temperature rise crazily and I got fever. Also on the way back from my uni early on the evening, I was almost bumped by a car accidentally. My mind sometimes wanders and I got blank several times.

What’s his purpose on doing this?? I really don’t understand.

Really.