Christmas Countdown

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Merry Christmas everyone!!!!
May your Christmas be merry and bright^^

The Christmas is approaching...alongside my beloved Mouse. Yet, it doesn't deprive this one thought in my mind...

What should i give him as Christmas present???

Duh, walking and window-shopping don't give much solution. All I can think as Christmas present are:
1. A good book...but what book????
2. A merchandise which reminds him of me...but what kind of merchandise???
3. A mug, but isn't it too ordinary?
4. Myself... Wrapped in gift paper and tied with red ribbon? Lolz.

Aghhh, dunno what should I buy for him... Any suggestion, everyone?

TWINKle TWINKle LITTLE AFFAIR (NOT STARS)

Have not been hearing news from that Bakka-chan a.k.a STUPIDO (remember him, my ex-crush?). Now I hear that he’s having an affair with his lecturer. Oh Gosh!

The story is begun with his break-up with his oh-conceal-me-from-being-spotted-as-gay girlfriend, Ca. Just because of stupid and childish reason. You know, if your girlfriend/boyfriend tells you that you’re too busy with your business, not much times for you both hanging out together, what would you do? Normally people will cut their extra business thus they can spend that extra time with him/her, right? But that’s just what normal people would do. Things are upside-down for my little STUPIDO. Instead of spending more quality time with Ca, he showed even more careless behavior to Ca (Which I knew later, was because he feel peevish to Ca since Ca told him that he’s not caring). What a gross! Dunno what’s wrong with this guy, Ca said to me. She thinks that STUPIDO needs to learn about human basic emotions and behavior BEFORE he’s permitted to enter social life. Ca also told me once that this guy is a threat and isn’t good for any woman. He’s better be having a relationship with a guy instead. Ah, Ca, wish I could tell you that you ex-boyfriend is gay…. Yeah right, it’s out of my business :-/

This stupid twink sure has a tendency to make people infatuated to his strange charm; Now that I hear him having an affair with his lecturer. And what the heck! Everyone knows about this!
I’ll tell you from the very beginning of the story…. STUPIDO likes to swim (for whatever reason he might have). And one day, when he finished one of his swimming sessions in VIP, one of warm pool in Lembang, came to him, his dearie lecturer (who also suspected as gay, as reported exclusively by gossipers in his class). Then Mr. Lecturer asked him whether STUPIDO swim there often or not. And then, he asked STUPIDO to swim together next time. So that he could have motivation to go swimming. Euwww. What could be more obvious than that??

Then…then…in his class, few minutes before mid-semester exam, Mr. Lecturer approached him, do that ‘basa-basi’ thing, asked STUPIDO if he has a problem studying for the exams. He took STUPIDO’s book from his hand, wrote here and there, circle a few problems. He then smiled, and leaved. And guess what?? All that he marked in STUPIDO’s book is the entire problems he gave on the exams. Geezzz. Moreover, while STUPIDO was concentrating on doing his exam, Mr. Lecturer obviously took pics of STUPIDO with his mobile phone’s camera. Yuck!

And the fun part is, when my Arabic friend, Yan asked Mr. Lecturer something about that exam, he answered nonchalantly, almost carelessly. Of course, not as ‘berbunga-bunga’ as he treats STUPIDO. Everyone told Yan after that, that Mr. Lecturer doesn’t have interest in Arab people. Lolz.

Euwww, euwww, euwww, what a gross…. As what people in Indonesia say,

ABCD – Aduh Booo, Cape Dehhhh!!!

Can't Wait Till X'Mas

My my, because of busy weeks I have, I abandoned my blog quite a while. Geez. Well, maybe in these weeks I can’s post too much, since starting next week, we’ll have our final exams. And all I should do is just study study and study again. Hmmm, can’t enjoy my spare time even a tiny bit.

Even so, at least I do have something to be waiting for. Yeah, our Christmas holiday. I started on this Dec 23^rd, where I’m going to J-town. Of course, J-town is not the only reason… Mouse will also spend his Christmas holiday in J-town, with me. Huehehe, bring a bit of excitement in my boring uni life la. I’ll do sleepover at his condo to enjoy Christmas Eve, just for the two of us. He said that he just want to send this special time with me :-p He also asked me to cook our meal together, waw, so romantic, huehehe. And of course there will be naughty naughty thing happen between us.

I do cherish him so much and so happy to meet him in my life, even though we meet through unusual way (yes, thank you Trevvy). You know, when I met him some time ago on Trevvy, I almost closed my profile there lho. So did him. I really thought that Trevvy is kinda useless. Everyone would just give me kisses and spanks, but no more than that. Yah, I must say, what is the purpose of kisses and spanks actually? Does it give you any benefit thus everyone collect it as many as they can. It’s useless. You can’t earn money or what through kisses and spanks collecting, can you?
So right after we met, he closed his Trevvy account, and I abandoned my account.

We also made a blog, to record our journey through our relationship. Where we can share everything (I do really mean everything) in this blog. Our thought, our feelings, our problems, our pics, and many more things that we feel precious for us.

Next week I’ll have Chemical Reaction Engineering and Utility Systems exams, duh. And now I haven’t finished my 3DMax Heat Exchanger Project for tomorrow. Back back back to my busy life.

Can’t wait till X’Mas ^^

做你的男人 - Be Your Boyfriend

This is a song from Jeff Zhang, which Mouse gave me. He said that this song reminds him of me and our relationship. He said that he also hopes that he can be a good boyfriend for me… Waw, he’s so sweet^^ Makes me adore him even more. Here, I share this song here too, try to listen… I think it’s a simple song, yet so touchy. And I also provided the lyric (which I translated by myself). I’m sorry if I translated few of the sentences wrong yah, just improving my Chinese, hehe. Bother to correct if there’s any mistakes, kay?

东京 纽约 每个地点
Tokyo, New York, every place

带你去坐幸福的地下铁
Bring you with subway train

散步 逛街 找电影院
Take a walk, strolling down the street, looking for the cinema

累了我就帮你(提高跟鞋)
Tired already, I just help you (bring your high-heeled shoes)

塞车 停电 哪怕下雪
Traffic jam, power failure, whe must fear of the snow?

每天都要和你过情人节
Everyday I want to have Valentine's Day with you

星光 音乐 一杯热咖啡
Starlight, music, one cup of hot coffee

只想给你所有浪漫情节
Just want to give you romantic story

让我做你的男人
Let me be your boyfriend

24个小时不睡觉
Don't sleep 24 hours

小心翼翼的保持
Keeping cautiously

这种热情不退烧
This passion won't retreat

不管世界多纷挠
Don't care how much world hinder one another

我们俩紧紧的拥抱
We both embrace it tightly together

隐隐约约我感觉有微笑
Faintly I feel some smile

藏在你嘴角
Concealed at your lips corner

让我做你的男人
Let me be your boyfriend

24个小时不睡觉
Don't sleep 24 hours

让胆小的你在黑夜中
Let the timid you in the middle of the night

也会有个依靠
Yet can rely on

就算有一天爱会变少
Even if just one day, love can be slightly changed

人会变老
People can be old

就算没告诉过你也知道
Even if I don't tell, you still knowing

下辈子还要和你遇到
In the next life, I want you and me still meet

About our relationship, we’re doing okay actually. Although we can’t meet so often, still we communicate so intensively. I think that a good communication is one of the keys of the good relationship. So we made a blog together. So we can carve our journey together. And if sometimes we want to look back, we’d just visit our blog. Of course we made it private, so no one could see (I and Mouse posted many many pics of us there lho, btw, hehe).

Beside that, we also do phone and SMS almost every day. But still in ordinary level, I mean, we don’t do it too often also lar. Still, Ed complained about these new activities of mine,

“Ya ampun…… SMS everyday! Gosh, remind me not to open your inbox again.”

“Awh, those sweet sayings… How could you put up with that?? Enough already.”

Haha….yeah, at least we don’t phone each other every hour lar…

Busy Busy Week

With...
1. 2 lab sessions (Tuesday-Wednesday & Thursday-Friday).
2. 2 lab reports to do.
3. 1 exams on Friday.
4. 1 Heat Exchanger model assignments.
5. Meeting meeting and meeting with everybody.

And now i'm tired. But there's next week, lying, waiting. Huaaaaaaaa!

I love you, Mouse. I cherish every day of this week because of you....

Excuse me everyone, till then^^ I will back with more posts later.

Our Second Date: The Proposition

Pipppp….pippp……*my mobile phone’s alarm rang*
Open my eyes and turned it off. It’s still 05.50 in the morning. I woke up suddenly, trying to remember everything happened last night. Oh yea, I promised Mouse to go to the Church together this morning. Mmm, I thought he said he would come here at 06.30, so I didn’t rush myself, prepare a little breakfast for myself so that I wouldn’t get hungry in the Church.
My mobile phone suddenly rang. It’s still 06.00. Owh, I got a message. From Mouse,
“Morning, Chris! I’ve arrived in front of your dorm. Should I get in? Or I can wait in the car instead.”
“Owh, wait a sec ya Mouse, I’ll go outside. Wah, so fast, I didn’t think you would come this early in the morning. I haven’t taken a bath yet lor.”

And I walked outside the dorm, approaching his car, and invited him to come in. And while I took a bath, he waited inside my room, looking through my props.
I got dressed (not in front of him lor) and then we decided to go to the 07.30 Holy Mass on Lau’s Church, but it’s still 06.40, so we have around 20 minutes or so before we leave. So we watched my funny videos collections (and also video about 2 Crazy Karaoke Girls I posted here few days ago)…

We arrived at the Church at about 07.15, still 15 minutes left. Hehe, it has been my wish lor to go to the Church with my boyfriend. I wish it can be every week… But nothing I can do about this. Like this, I’m happy enough.

You know, why I adore Mouse so much? Well one of the reasons why is that when I was with him, I can be myself, my true self. I never have to try to conceal anything, unlike with others. He also does the same thing to me; he’s always honest, sincere, and open. Little by little, I develop my faith to this (unknown) relationship. Although I know, maybe we don’t have bright future or what. But still, I feel that it’s right.

We went to the “Mie Rica” restaurant. He wanted to taste that HOT (when I say it’s HOT, I mean it, it’s really spicy) noodles once again, since he used to live here in B-town when he was in uni back then. While waiting for our order to come, he stared at me again, made me a bit awkward at first. I asked him why he looked at me that way, but he just laughed softly. I love it when he laughs like that, gives me warm feeling. So I just replied him, staring through his eyes deep. As if no other people around.
Yeah, he couldn’t stand the hot noodles, sweat sweat sweat so much…hahaha, he’s so cute when he wipes sweat dropping from his face :-p
Today, I insisted to pay the charge, since he did pay for our meal at our first date. As I said, I don’t want him become a sugardaddy to me.

We headed back to my dorm, didn’t have anything particular to do. Actually he offered me to accompany me buy things I need at the store, but I didn’t have to buy anything, I have just done shopping few days ago.
Ahaha, he was mad at me because I played the song寂寞的季节 (Season of Loneliness) from David Tao on my iTunes. He felt that it isn’t right to hear such a mellow and lonely tune in this occasion. So I played 大成小爱 (Big City Little Love) instead. He asked me to sit beside him and he held my hands, while saying that actually he wanted to do it earlier, at the Church, but since it’s an impossible thing to do, he just do it in my room. I smiled and chuckled. He’s so unadorned, I think, yet he’s so sweet for saying such thing.

From here, I cut few parts of the story ya, I want to keep it to myself, hehe..selfish me.
He kissed me, and asked me if I could be his boyfriend (Gosh),
“Chris, do you want to be my boyfriend?”
I smiled at him, my mind wandered. Ah, I don’t care about the future. All I care now is that I want to be with him, as much as he wants to be with me. So why should I be hesitate?
“Yes, Mouse, I do. I’m glad you ask that…”
He hugged me tight.
“Maybe I can’t promise you anything, but I still hope…”
“That’s all right... You already knew, I also can’t promise you anything. But I believe that makes us suitable one another, right?”
*It’s just bizarre, but when I say “Yes” to him, the song 老鼠爱大米 (Mouse Loves Big Rice) really played in the background*

Ya, from now on, I’m not walking alone anymore. I have Mouse by my side (figuratively, not literally). I’m glad to be with him. Having him to support me and be with me, I’m fulfilled. Although we aren’t together in the same place and time, but we hope that our heart will still be the same. Long distance relationship ain’t easy, man… Still we’re hoping. Wish us the best yah…

Continuation Of The Heart-Heart Chronicles

My presentiment was right. Last night wasn’t our last. Just right after I woke up this morning, I received a short message from him,
“Morning, Chris! Are you busy this morning? May I meet you again? Hehe… I miss you. How about tomorrow we go to the Church together? Do you know the Holly Mass schedule on Lau’s Church?”
Duh, wished I weren’t busy that morning. Had I free, I wouldn’t spoil what supposedly to be our second date.
“Duh, I have a meeting this morning, how about this afternoon? Maybe about 1 pm? Eh, I dunno the schedule there, how about the Central Church instead?”
“Wah, I can’t, I should accompany my sister this afternoon. Okay, Central Church is okay, let’s see, if I can arrive at your dorm at 6.30 am, then we attend the 6.30 Mass, okay? How about we meet tomorrow? Before I head back to J-town?”
“Okay, we could go after the Church ya. Btw, isn’t it too early for you to arrive here at 6.30 am?”
“It’s all right, ‘pokoknya’ I go to your dorm first. C you, warm hugs for Chris.”

Then after that, he send me a really long SMS with Chinese character (which I couldn’t recognized, high level ones). Duh…. But after I asked Ed about what it means, he told me this…

“Life’s like a railway, every station has different people. To some strangers, that may be a beginning, to others that may be an end. Many different people get in and out in every stations of life, thus it can become beautiful and happy. Every stations where life can have its beauty is because of you”

From what I inferred, I feel that he likes me, more than just a friend. Ed also said so to me. But still, I do hesitate myself. I feel like I can’t lose him either. But isn’t it too fast to say that it’s love? So I think that maybe it’s better to let it just flow and let the time differentiate what feeling it actually is between me and him.

Early in the evening, he SMS me once again,
“What did you do this afternoon, Chris? I just arrived home after ‘jalan-jalan’ with my sister to Paris van Java Mall. And after this I would go to the wedding reception. Love you always, Chris.”
“Oh, not much actually, I just attended few meetings and after that finished my Heat Exchanger group assignment with my group, hehe. Yea, I know PvJ, isn’t that the new Mall in Sukajadi? Has it finished yet? What did you do there?”
“Not yet lar, I just ate at Da Wan (a porridge restaurant), not as good as Jakarta, of course, saw Sogo and Blitz (the new luxurious cinema there). If I had more time, I want to watch a movie or two with you, hehe. Cu tomorrow yah. I guess I’m in love with you…”
“Yea, wish you have more time here… I also want us to watch some movies together. Since I heard Blitz is a good place for watching. It’s so funny Mouse, because I also have the same feeling as you do …”
“Hehe, it’s just good that we feel the same feeling. Yea, even if the time and place limitation separate us, I’m still hoping…. Because I’m so happy be with you.”
“Maybe its better be like this, Mouse. Even if there’s a time and place limitation between us. Isn’t that makes every moment we have together is so precious?”
“Iya, thanks ya. I love you. Warm hugs for you, Chris. CU tomorrow morning ya? Don’t wake up so late. LovU Chris.”

Late in that evening,
“Chris, are you going out? I just arrived home, after the wedding reception. Just want to take a rest now. Good nite ya! Warm hugs for Chris.”
“No, I didn’t go anywhere today, Mouse. I’d like to stay at home today, take a little rest after this morning’s hullabaloo. But I did go a while, just went to the store to buy some fruits with my friends. Okay, good nite then ^^ Nice dream, sleep tight… Warm hugs for you two.”

He didn’t ask me to be his boyfriend. But it’s just right for me. Well, me being blabbermouth here, blabbering about my love story, uncensored. But I just want to keep this important thing in my life, here in my blog. So that some time in the future, I can always look back to the past.

Get Laid

The followings are my date’s story with Mouse. I’ll write it as chronologic and as detail as I can here.

My mobile phone rang when I was in class,
“I’ve arrived in B-town!”. From Mouse.

“Hehe… I’m so excited lor:-) See you at 6 ya Mouse!”

I have few lectures until 5 pm, so I was kinda in hurry. Fortunately, my last lecture today, which supposedly ended at 5 pm, ended earlier. Huah, gave me more time to prepare everything for the outing.

Got home, and took a bath. It’s still 5 o’clock, so I wasn’t late. I chose my apparel quite carefully, wanted to give him a good first impression of me. After all, it’s our first date. So I wanted everything goes okay. Ah, me being girlie here, lol.

05:55 pm, I walked from my house to the place we’ve agreed, at a café at D Plaza. I walked up the stairs and waited him there… Haha, just like in those romantic movies lar..
Right after I arrived, I SMS him, “Hi, it’s me, I’ve arrived lor, waiting upstairs.”

And right after I received the delivery report, he approached me from back. Said,
“Hai, Chris ya?”
And I was just answered blankly, “Ah, yea, Mouse?”

Then we shook hand. Waw, so formal, haha. We sat near the balcony, so we can see people passing by. Ah, we stared at each other shyly and nervously, smiling. I realized, the way he talked, and laugh, and everything, and even his apparels and necklace choice is the same as mine. A slight thought flashed in my mind, that he’s how I will look like in the future, when I reach 28 y/o :-/

And I started the conversation, asked how his trip was earlier. We chit chat here and there, spent about half an hour there. I saw one of the waiters looked on us, maybe got suspicious about us (since I heard that this café were a place for gays do outing, especially on weekend). Duh, I didn’t give it a damn la. We had beautiful time together.

I felt although he and I have quite wide age difference, we still can connect somehow. I didn’t have any difficulties to talk and laugh with him. As if we have met long long ago before.

Felt hungry, we then went to the Kaca Mata, a Medan restaurant at Paskal Hypersquare. I know it isn’t a romantic place to have a date, indeed. But he said that he want to try ‘nasi babi campur’ there (which I recommended before in one of my e-mail to him). We had nice ‘nasi babi campur’, and continuing our chat, he told me about his ex, his life experience, and so so. He kinda similar with me in this futile-love-searching thing. He said that it has been his worries that he wouldn’t ever meet the right one for him because of his responsibility to his family (see my last post). He also said that he just wants to have a bisexual partner now, because maybe some time in the future, he should be married. He was so open and honest to me. I like that kind of person, though.

In return, I told him about my ex too, about how we broke up and about our relationship after we broke. Kinda ironic, since my ex was also 28 y/o when we first met (just like Mouse). And he’s also bisexual. And also have an obligation to be married. And the reason why we broke up back then was because he married someone. And that we was still good friends after we broke up. And after quite some time, I realized that I might be a third-party in his marriage. And that I realized that the situation must be changed. And that I cut our contact until now.

Yea, we finally concluded that love is uncertain and that we are unlucky in this thing, haha. He also told me that he has closed his Trevvy account, stop believing that his other half would come up from there. Since everyone only gives him kisses and spanks. Just one or two care enough to leave even a little message (it’s me, in this case). Well, maybe I should reconsider to close mine too, I said.

He insisted that everything went to his charge. Yeah, I couldn’t say no for his sincerity. At least, I said, I wanted to pay for the parking fee lar. Don’t want him to be a sugardaddy, I said. He laughed, hear me saying that… Full enough after eating, have nowhere else to go, we decided to come to my dorm. He wants to see how I live daily, wheeee.

I gave him a peek on my daily live by letting him visit my room. Let him browsing through my CD and music collections. And also let him view few of my porns, ahaha. And as a souvenir, I gave him one of my porn collections, which he really liked. I hope he would save it carefully, not letting him forget me lar, kekeke.

Night went cold, wind blew quite slowly, and it sounded so far away…. And it happened so naturally, he kissed me. Asked me whether I want to be with him tonight or not. You know what I mean, right?

I didn’t have any hesitation at all. I held him tight and kiss him. So it happened…

So tender and soft, it all happened and ended before we could even realize it.

I don’t have any regret. Even IF we both don’t have any opportunity to meet each other again, it’s okay. All I care about is that tonight he’s all mine.

It wasn’t my desperation form in finding my other half that I would do ‘that thing’ with anyone who wants it, though. I just felt, that it’s a right thing to do, with him.

Pity us, not so long after that, while we were still in bed, hugging and starring at each other, my friend Ann came, and ruins the entire romantic ambience. Darn!!!

We quickly jumped to wear our apparel, duh. Then, his older sister called, asked where he was, and at what time he would go home.

This is the time we should be separated. I do have a presentiment that this isn’t our last, though. Said goodbye, hold him once more, let him go home…

And he said to me in an SMS after he arrived home, that we should keep in touch, a love note from him. Some time I should go play to his hometown. Also wished me have tight sleep and a nice dream.

What do I do now? What am I feeling?

Is He the ‘One’ For Me?

Maybe about one month ago, someone on Trevvy gave me a kiss. Unlike the others which I just reply-kiss and ignore, something on his intro somehow attracted me.
It said “Please leave a message…”

Haha, as if he’s so desperate in finding someone in Trevvy that would message him ah. So I was just try to be kind, sent a light PM to him,
“Hi, how are you? Just leave you a message as you requested:-) ”

Then, the day after, he replied me,
“Hello there, thanks for send me a message, are you Indonesian? Can you speak Indonesian?”

*the followings are our messages on Trevvy, which I translate into English, so you wouldn’t get flustered*
“Uh, yeah, I’m Indonesian, sure I can ‘ngomong’ Indonesia. Hehe. Mind if I ask you some intro?”
“Oh, yea, my name is ******** *******, you can call me ****/*****, I’m 28 y/o from ****. What should I call you?” I ‘ll call him ‘Mouse’ here.
“You can call me Chris, Chris Lee. Anyway, do you have any messenger?”
“Sure, sure, here’s my YahooID *********. My MSN *******@******.com. My Gmail **********@gmail.com.
“Okay, I’ll add you there, we’ll chat there instead ya.”

…………………………………………………………………………

He’s on his 28, currently working on his family business, as a financial manager. He told me that formerly he lived in B-town also, got his bachelor degree on a private university, so he understands B-town quite well.

Well, he’s also bisexual, just as I am. So since he’s the only son in his family, sure he has the obligation to come out of the closet (or moreover, has a long term relationship with a man instead of a woman). Easy speaking, he must be married some time in the future. Yea, I told him, that I do have the same oblige, to be married some time (which I don’t want to think about right now). Even if I’m not the only son in my family, but my parents put a really great expectation on me, since I’m the oldest son and all. So I can say we’re no different in this case.

Not much I can tell about him here, since I must protect his privacy, I’m sure you all understand.

And after tons of PMs, e-mail, chat, and SMS, he said that he is going to B-town this Nov 24^th (Friday) to attend one of his friend’s wedding. He asked whether we can meet or not. He left one evening spared to meet me. Yes, that was what I told him. Because I thought that it was a good chance to meet him, I dunno if I could get any chance to meet him again or not.
And now I’m getting anxious, whether he would look like what I imagined him to be or not…..

Lance Bass on Extra

One of my friend was recently 'come out of the closet', so when I found this clip from youtube, I think it's relevant to bring this out.
It is a clip about Lance's reasons for coming out (still it's not representative, but it's okay)... which has not been exposed too much by those media. And of course a bit about his hottie boyfriend, Leimkul (duh, dunno if I spell it right or not). Gosh, Leimkul.
Despite how 'basi' this clip is (well, yea, it was posted on August), still, I post it here.

2 Crazy Karaoke Girls (Korean)

My friend gave me this funny video and told me to watch it (to relieve me from my emotional stress few days ago). And I watched it over and over, haha...
I heard that they're very popular in South Korea.
Watch it! you will find it's really hillarious...*lol*
Geez these girls are crazy.. o_O

Video 1


Video 2


Video 3


Video 4


I will inform you if there's their newest video. Watch it! Recommended lor..

A Guy Who Needs Some Fresh Air

Sometimes I just failed to understand, how some people can deal with their ordinary (and boring) lives. You know, just like those people who always study and study, ignoring all those life’s excitement. Have an undeviating life. What a flat life it could be.

I often think that it’s kinda exhausting to be kind and normal guy. Sometimes I just want to break free from this life.

Go to my uni as usual, attend the class, doing my assignment, having a gossip session or two with my friends, have lunch with Ed (while staring at those hot bods in my uni, hoping some time we’ll lucky enough to have one as our boyfriend, lol), doing my tasks as a network administrator, and so so. Life sometimes can be a routine, a cycle you follow on and on, always passing on the same track…

I dunno if I’m just the one who feels like this, but sometimes I feel surfeited. I always need to feel some fresh air. I need dynamic activities, outside these daily routines. Once, I took a personality test in Tickle.com, and they said that surfeited feelings may because I have a rather complex and superior mind and tends to have deep thoughts (about my life, my feeling, and everything). They also said that is really good, because I can surpass beyond other people thoughts. But for me, sometimes it kinda annoying, because I easily get bored with something simple and routines and (this is what I hate the most) I became somehow skeptic and philosophical sometimes.

So I just feel somehow envy those so-called simple-minded guys, who always take everything easy and plain. They wouldn’t have a deep trouble in their life, because they don’t take anything too hard. Some cheesy-brained guys from mIRC for instance. Gosh, as I can see, for them life is no more than a party which is not to be taken so seriously. They would always go clubbing, have sex, find a boyfriend, break up, go with friends, have a crush on hunks, and do the same things again repetitiously and perpetually. If I were them, I’d feel EMPTY. I’m not fulfilled.

It’s not that I’m not enjoying my life though. I enjoy my life and not bored of it (but I do sometimes). I love every moment of my life; I really thank God for giving me such a chance to live. But the difference of me and common people is that I tend to think too deeply sometimes.

I think it’s hard to meet someone like me (Ed doesn’t count, hehe), who tends not to think plain and simple as a white paper.

I want some change!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Maybe it’s just because I’ve been tortured mentally last week. Now I become emotional. A drama queen, once more.

Exhausting Week

I just need one word for picturing this past week,

CHAOTIC

Yea, chaotic, that’s right. With all those assignments, laboratorial sessions, report, and exams, I could barely close my eyes to enjoy even a tiny bit of sleep. Geez, so relieved I finally pass this week…. Till then..

Evil Nemesis

Unexpectedly, since last year, I have been assigned as one of the network administrators in my uni. FYI, network administrators in my uni has been assigned tasks such as maintaining the network (hardware and software), managing websites, databases, and so so. Long to short, we are ensuring that the information technology in my uni implemented well.

From the beginning, me and one of my bestfriends, Lim (he’s also a network administrator here) dislike this one senior, named Jan. Well, basically, he’s such a loser jerk. He doesn’t have many friends either. You see, that’s maybe because he puts his foot in his mouth. He often says rude and offensive things. No attitude.

Until today, I and Lim try to get used to it. But today is different; suddenly we two got furious and yelled at him after he scorned us. And then we walked out from the administrator room, not looking back anymore. As our protest form, from now on we insist, won’t ever enter the administrator room, unless, he apologizes to us both or until he’s graduated from uni (since it’s his last year in uni). He said back then that he didn’t need us at all as administrator. Puh, I just wanna see how long his stubbornness lasts. Don’t want to be arrogant, but I can say that I and Lim hold important roles as administrators there. We have connections to almost all the lecturers in uni (unlike him), I myself administer the website and database, I also managing the accounting for the administrator union, while Lim himself manages the internet account and the e-mail system. So basically without us, he will be in charge for almost everything. Take that you beyotch! Try to manage whole things, while he also has the final projects waiting to be finished before this semester. Needless to say, it’s almost impossible.

Our other admin colleagues asked us to forget about that, since that’s his behavior, and nothing we can do about that. Ciss, what kind of behavior izzat?! Has a spiky mouth to other whereas he’s sensitive himself, such an egoist prick. Yes, I admit he’s bright, no matter what, but still, with that kind of behavior he won’t be a successful person in outside world.

It has been 5 days since that scratch, and he doesn’t even seems to realize that we two are absent from the admin room neither talk to him. Pfuit, such a low EQ prick he is. Nevertheless, we two don’t have to worry about our resources in admin room. I can always do remote desktop to my computer in that room from anywhere. So amid my absence from the admin room, I don’t lose the contact to the blogosphere. Huh, he wants to play the stubborn game with me. Let’s see who the winner is.

Movie Review

Continuing my study-procrastinate chronicles, I watched TWO movies yesterday. I bought them since about one month ago though, but rarely had time to watch them. Although this time is no different (I supposedly don’t have time to watch them), but still. Augh, naughty me.

Yeah, I watched Over the Hedge and Monster House. Quite late, yea, and also quite childish because they’re all animation movies, but still, I love animation.

Monster House
From the title itself you should’ve figured what it’s about. Three kids: DJ (Mitchel Musso), Chowder (Sam Lerner), and Jenny (Spencer Locke) discover that the house across the street from DJ's is alive. It eats anything that goes on its property. They try to convince the babysitter (Maggie Gyllenhaal), the police, and some weirdo named Skull (Jon Heder). They try to unravel the mystery of the house and they have to go inside to find that the house is haunted by superfat woman’s ghost (voiced by Kathleen Turner).

From the ‘gembar-gembor’ and all, I thought this film is interesting. But after I watched it myself, yeah, I say it’s really average la. Not giving that much excitement.

Over the Hedge
Traveling raccoon con artist, RJ (Willis), arrives in a woods outside a human city in the Midwest, excited about the wonders that living near humans can bring hungry animals. What he finds, however, is an Amish-like community that is deathly afraid of humans, after their leader, Vern the tortoise (Shandling), has an encounter with human boys that terrifies him. Encouraged by RJ, however, the animals slowly venture over the hedge that separates them from the brand new suburban development that appeared over the winter while they were sleeping, and what RJ shows them is a whole new world where humans leave tin cans full of fish and other food in big canisters, ripe for the taking. As they get closer and closer to humans, however, their comfortable lives in the woods appears to be threatened...

Wow wow, that’s what I call GREAT. Really, it was like, the best animation I’ve ever seen. Uncomplicated plot, cute characters (See those lil’ hedgehogs, so cuuuteee) amazing graphics, and incredible voice act, all those are mingling in this movie. I’m soooo going to watch it again. Recommended to watch. Now I wonder, do they sell the stuffed characters?? If they do, I’ll buy it for sure^^

My New Google Talk

*Naughty naughty Chris is now procrastinate his assignments and study-plan for the next week exams by blogging…

After all those babblings from my friends, finally I downloaded Google Talk software. At first, when I installed it yesterday, I kinda doubt that my uni will allow connection for this messenger, since ye know, MSN Messenger has been banned since few months ago. And Yahoo! Messenger sometimes had error because of the proxy limit, darn… And all they say is,

“Yeah, we can cut our bandwith usage and limit unwanted things distributed through the network via messenger”

And I just ask myself, “What unwanted things sih??? Bodoh them all.”

Yea, at least they didn’t ban Google Talk from running la.
And guess who my very first friend on Google Talk is? Yeah, none other than dearie defiant himself. Naughty me, interrupted him between his study sessions, just to have a lil’ chat, haha. Geez, we will have the exact same exams next week (we are taking the same course, btw), what a coincidence ^^

But our chat was interrupted by a call from my lecturer, waiting for me for that discussion session I mentioned earlier in my last post. So I left defiant back to study again. And when I came back, he was taking a nap :-)

Ah, I must back to study againnnnn…*just realizing I’m wasting my time in front of my computer*

P.S.: All of you, Google Talk user, add me ya. So we could have some chit-chat then^^ My e-mail is cyber.lie@gmail.com

Back to My Busy Life

Today I’m heading back to B-town; leave my beloved J-town and all those holiday pleasures in my home, heading back to the crowded and busy uni life, once again.

Geez, there’s 4 EXAMS waiting for me and of course there’s still holiday assignments which I tried to ignore while I’m in holiday mood these two weeks back. Dunno why, but I always procrastinate every uni-related things while I’m at home. So here’s the list of things awaiting me in next two weeks in uni:

1. 4 EXAMS. All of them are in one week. Arrgggggghhhhh. Even the thought of how thick and complicated the lecture books are makes me frustrated somehow. Since all the pre-holiday lectures I’ve had before the holiday seems to ‘merembes keluar’ from my head. Ed, I need your help with this….. Seriously.
2. Few lecture-assignments-which-are-supposedly-collected-tomorrow-which-I-haven’t-finished-AT-ALL. Blame me.
3. Final group discussion with my laboratorial-advisor lecturer about one of my laboratorial session.
4. Preparation for next laboratorial session.
5. Group meeting with my friends about our group assignments.

My God, please help me getting through all this…Amen.

And btw, I change my template again lor… It’s so amazing how easily bored I am, so I think that’s explains my liking to change my template too often, hehe. D you like it? It has the same base form with the old one though, since I do like the layout. I just modified the template a bit, especially on the background. And if you ever visit my friendster, this background is one I use also there.

'Tante-tante' Chat

I have known that ‘this’ will come eventually.
Ever since I read it on my fellow bloggers’ post about such things, I knew that this will happen.
And finally, ‘this’ happens to me.

Yesterday, some of my relatives and my Ma’s friends did some gathering on my house. As usual, when all those ‘tante-tante’ gather around, chatter and laugh spread around the house. About their children, about who’s marrying who, about divorce, about artist’s latest gossip, and more…
It really was my fault for coming home in this wrong situation. Blame me also for entered through the main door since all the ‘tante-tante’ gathers around there on guest room.

And when I entered the house, everyone was like turning head onto me.
Everyone started to said to me this innocently,
“Wahhhh lil’ Chris is so big now. Do you have a girlfriend, honey???*chatter chatter chatter*

And I tried to smile decorously (which was just looked like a smirk) and answered timidly,
“Umm, no..”

Then my Ma would just reply,
“Ah, don’t tease my son la… Right now he’s too busy on his study. He never thought about such thing la.” *chuckle softly*

And then of course it continued with,
“Aww, he’s so dashing. I can’t believe he doesn’t have one.”*chuckle chuckle*

If only I could say this, “Yeah, right, a girlfriend. That exactly what a gay guy expects.” *soft laugh*
But noooo, everyone would knocked unconscious had I dare enough to say that. Instead, I just said,
“Hehe, thanks for your kudos, Mrs. R. Now, if you all don’t mind, I would take a bath ya. Excuse me.” *soft smile once again*

“Waw, he’s such a well-mannered guy also, how sweet….” Geez

And I also know that it would come one day when everyone start to ask me,
“Ah, you’re an adult now. When will you get married?? Where’s your girlfriend?? Bring her here sometimes, so we could know how she looks like. ”

That’s why I better keep myself away from my Ma’s friends and my relatives. Oh, well…

Engineering Cases

For those engineer rainbowlanders like me...

MSDS for women

Women's reaction graph


tha Control panel

So is it a sign to choose man than woman? Teehee^^

Deep Down in IRC Jungle

Well, one week without any particular thing to do is so boring. Especially when I knew STUPIDO is going to Singapore for 3 days while I’m just here, doing nothing. So that explains why I plunged myself once again in the wilderness of mIRC forest. Where you can find these following things lies:

1. A bunch of ‘sok-keren’ baboons who will judge you based on your appearance and physical properties. Which make you feel ugly whereas they aren’t any better.
2. Idiotic crocodiles who think you’re going to have an ONS (one night stand) with’em right after that chit-chat session.
3. A group of sneaking snakes who fake their face, fake their life, and fake their every little things just to fooling you around and see you feel down.
4. Few ‘newbie’ penguins who always feel too paranoid to reveal who they really are. Won’t let you see their pics or even tell you their name because too scared of the prospect of being captured. (Helloo, what’s the point of you chatting here then….??)
5. ‘Sugar-daddy’ honey-bear. No explanation for this one.
6. The tricky foxes, looking for their sugar-daddy prey to come near, trying to trap them for all the money.
7. And last (and of course least) is a group of real nice little forest fairy, all humble and warm. Will guide you through if you lost in the forest. Offering you the real hospitality of the rainbowlander if you lucky enough too meet them.

Then I met these two guys,
Edw: I classified him as a newbie penguin. This 19 y/o young guy is currently in the same uni wif one of my girl friends, named Fa. Even they’re in the same major but in the different grade (because Edw is one-year younger than her also). He’s kinda unadorned and distrustful, which made me somehow peevish on him. Not only once, he asked me to send him my pic through MMS (although he has seen it already in my friendster). But nope lah. I will never ever send my pics through MMS.

Vn: 19 y/o. Absolutely fox. Didn’t expect much from this guy since he’s far away from me (he’s in Kalimantan btw). And especially he asked me to switch my mobile number to another provider thus would freed us from the SMS charge. Geezz! His reluctant to sacrifice even tiny-bits of his mobile-phone credit proving that he isn’t serious and really doesn’t worth my time.

Yah, you can see how my futile search of love fail miserably once again. It seems that my prince charming isn’t coming any closer this time, huhuuu. And I’m pretty sure that he isn’t coming through mIRC. Owgh, where are thou, my prince???

Duh, my skin is so dry becoz of this dry weather of J-town.

Another Mind Elaborating Conversation

Releasing my mind from the thought of being deceived (and risks of bankruptcy), I went to Taman Anggrek Mall with a bunch of friends yesterday. Maybe because it’s the 2^nd day of Lebaran, the amusement places like Dunia Fantasi (Ancol Jakarta Bay City), Taman Mini, and zoos crowded with people from all over the country. Taman Anggrek wasn’t an exception. Especially that was because the Turkey Festival hullabaloo and (infected by the joy of Lebaran) great discount from branded products, such as Giordano, the Executives, and so many more. Even Terry Palmer bedcover gave discount up to 50%. Well, well….really makes you ‘laper mata’ just to see them all.

Yeah, I was the first to come, so I waited in the Gramedia bookstore. Browsing for books while at the same time looking for gay guys beneath my gaydar, as usual (thanks to my futile searching for love). There were cute guy over there, gave subtle signals to me, looking at me from the top of the book he read at times (“Hellooo cutie”*wink wink*).
That moment could’ve turned into an introduction or a chit-chat session had my friends yet to come. Sigh, apparently, he isn’t destined for me, since my friends came and ruin the entire ambience. *sob sob*

Anyway, what I want to write today is what I’ve discussed wif my friends during our lunch session on the Platinum resto.
My friend, Jim, have just recently discovered that one of his best friends in uni is actually gay. And of course, like any homophobe will do, he restrains himself not to close with that ‘homo friend’ of his anymore. Jim said that he’s scared that ‘si homo’ might like him more than just friend.
Well, I just laughed out loud when Jim told me this. Haha, if he only knew that right beside him there’s a queer guy laughing. Jim also told me convincingly (as if he were a professional in this gay psycho-social thingie and we were a bunch of elementary students not knowing anything; he was sure that we didn’t know anything about gay world, yea yea yea*mocking laugh*) that there’s a term to call those homo people, that is “BELOK”. Ha?! Being gay guy, I’ve never heard such name before, even in gay-to-gay conversation. He must’ve derived it himself. Of course, once more I laughed out loud. I believe that he derived that term from these terms,

Heterosexual guy = Straight (in Indonesian means “lurus”)
Homosexual guy = Not Straight (in Indonesian literally means “belok”)

It’s sooo amazing how straight people think that they comprehend about GLBT thingie.
Moreover, being gay doesn’t mean that we would like all men. We do choose who we like. Apparently many people still think that if you gay, you like ALL men (my friend Jim, for instance).

Gay = Love men
Love men = Picking any man in front of you
So if you gay = You’ll love any man in front of ye no matter who he is

Helloooo *knock knock*, we do have feelings, ye know? Not all about lust.

Then another friend of mine, Lia, plunged herself into this hot conversation.
“Yep, one of my friends in dorm also gay lor… I didn’t notice at all, since he’s a nerdy type, with fat body, brown skin, and so fond of computer thingie. He didn’t give even any subtle gay impression. Then one day, he told me that he was quarrelling with his boyfriend (who was surprisingly 10 years younger). Geeezzzzzzz. Every male species in my dorm was like, ‘What??? OMG, could he also have a crush on me??! Noooo.’ And everyone suddenly looked for a new dorm and moved away. Can’t blame them, though”

Hm hm hmmmm, those homophobe pricks… But I won’t criticize them today. I want to highlight part of what Lia saying that she didn’t notice that his friend’s gay at all, since he’s a nerdy type, with fat body, brown skin, and so fond of computer thingie. Yah, I can say that most people have images of a gay guy as guy with a bit queeny behavior and matching head-to-toe apparel, of course with that fondness of skin care, spa, manicure-pedicure, and other girl things in mind. I can say that sometimes this definition is valid. But from what I see, most of gay people nowadays show absolutely-straight-behavior. You wouldn’t believe that someone’s gay unless he told you himself. And what’s with that thought that if you’re gay you shouldn’t into that computer stuff?? It is dead wrong….

I myself love that computer thingie so much since I was in junior high school back then. Not only with that computer stuff, I also great with that electronic devices lor…
Here’s I list few things I like other than that:

1. COMPUTER GAMES: strategy (DotA, Age of Mythology), sport (FIFA World Cup), fighting (you name it), and many more.
2. SPORTS: Swimming, ice-skating (yeah, it’s quite queeny, kekeke), bowling, and baseball.
3. TV-SERIES: Scrubs, L.O.S.T, One Tree Hill (quite gay, yea), Queer as Folks (it’s GAY, I know), Will and Grace (it’s a sit-com, so I didn’t count it as a gay one), Friends, and many more.
4. MUSIC: I don’t like Village People’s YMCA or another so-called gay songs :-/
   I like Chinese songs, like JJLin, Jay Chou, Wang Lee Hom, Jocie Guo, Sam Lee (Lee Sheng Jie), and David Tao. I also like t.A.T.U, Kevin Covais (American Idol Season 5), McFly, and Jesse McCartney.

Am I queeny?

F-ing Impostor

“When all the things went bad, and no one else to talk about, all I do is just turn my head to the trustworthy blogosphere.”
The thing that I most hate in my life is being deceived. One of the reasons of that hate is that my family has a really bad-bad history of being deceived, not only by strangers, but also by my own relatives. And this incident contributes more to that disgusting section of our family history.

My family runs a family business here in J-town. To be exact, we’re working in trading and financing. I cannot say it a big one, but still, it’s an adequate business. And few weeks ago, this man came from nowhere. I dunno exactly about the incident though, but I’ll try to explain it as much as what I understand. This man, approximately on his 40’s, with slanting eyes, a bit fat, and had an expensive look, asked to my Pa to help him get some limited items that should be imported from Malaysia (Well, that explains why my Pa suddenly asked me to go visit Malaysia with him this holiday). Considering the price of that cargo is so expensive, my Pa asked him to give a down payment first. Long to short, he gave the down payment without much talking. The cargo itself arrived few days later, unpaid. For your information, it’s common in trading to get your order delivered before you do a payment, especially if you’re a well-known big and trustworthy customer.

Two days ago they two went to the public notary in order to do-something-I-don’t-really-understand with the business contract. According to the plan, after my Pa receives the payment of that cargo from that f-ing man, that f-ing man will get that cargo delivered. And then My Pa and I fly to Malaysia to pay the cargo. But apparently, everything didn’t go well as planned.

My dad said after, when the two were at the notary office, he felt quite dizzy and it seemed that guy did hypnotize my dad. In that unconscious state of hypnotized, my Pa gave him the right to take the cargo at the harbor without even noticing what he does. Mr. Notary wasn’t different. He gave the key to his deposit box without even noticing. And when they two regained their consciousness, that impostor has gone, left empty deposit box and took all the cargo. It’s useless to call the police. Everything was too late though. Moreover, it’s not much of a help calling the police, cos they will just ask more money from us to have an investigation on this case.

Needless to say, my trip to KL is cancelled, and we should pay the debt that impostor left us with our private assets. Well, it’s just like the old time. But luckily, we still don’t have to declare bankruptcy this time. And now, we start from zero again.
My feelings now unexplainable, either sad, furious, or whatever…. I’m sorry my fellow bloggers, for saying stuff like this…

Damn that f-ing shit! Damn him!!!!

I pray his entire life full with sorrow and suffer!!

Die in misery, you f-ing shit!!!

In the Beginning of Lebaran Holiday

Today I finally come back to J-town for Lebaran holiday. Thanks to those perpetual stresses they gave for us in the form of assignments, papers, and exams, I could barely enjoy spare times just for myself during this academic term. And now, when holiday comes, I just want to relax and enjoy my spare times to the fullest. My Pa said maybe I could accompany him for a business trip to Malaysia this holiday (Hurrayy!), we’ll get assurance for this in this few days. Well, maybe if I’m lucky enough, I could have opportunities to meet my fellow bloggers from Malaysia since we’ll stay in KL :-p But of course, it’s not good for hoping too much, hehehe.

Thing that have changed on me during this academic term and I’m so care about is: I lose my weight AGAIN, which I hardly gained on last holiday (before this academic term started. Which means, I lose about 6 kgs in this 3 months. Geez, now I’m as skinny as a chopstick.

No wonder sih. During holiday, I usually eat about 5-7 times a day (haha, amazed aren’t you?)*gobble gobble gobble* But on the contrary, during the uni term, I just eat 3 times a day. And that’s, for sure, inadequate for constraining my weight. I have such a weird and inefficient metabolism :-/

Hmmm, I haven’t been reading newspaper for a week, and today when I read the last Monday (or Tuesday? Or Wednesday? Whatever…) newspaper, I read that Indonesian President, Mr Susilo Bambang Yoedhoyono, apologized (again) to the Malaysian Foreign Minister (duh, forgot his name already) and Singapore, because of the fog and the dust that has been ‘exported’ from Indonesia because of the forest fire. Well, of course, because they’re Indonesia’s neighbor country, they also affected by the fog and dust from the forest fire.

Skeptically (and queerly :-p) I said, “Ha-ha-ha…”

Because apology doesn’t solve the problem at all. Why didn’t he just try to extinguished the fire and prevent the forest fire before, instead. Well, I can say, this isn’t the first time we had forest fire. To be exact harsh, INTENTIONAL forest fire. Because the fire caused by those ‘goblok*’ people who think it is faster and better to make new agricultural field (a.k.a. ladang) by BURNING the forest, instead of cut the trees in the forest. Well, I can say yell them,
“GO TO HELL YOU MORON CREATURE!” *showing that angry queer expression*

Geez, where did they get such moronic ideas?? If Mr. President wants to stop that fire, he should’ve got those morons jailed, better if for the rest of their life. More firm the law is better. I also saw from the newspaper, the photos of the orangutan which saved by the forest by a group of environmental volunteer. And the dead corpse of a turtle, die burned by the fire. Whew, it really made me sad…just to see that orangutan’s expression. Maybe I’m not the one who would give a big support for the environmental campaign or what on the first place, but still, I’m concerned. So when this so-called Indonesian President apologized and promised that this won’t be happened again next time, all I do is just laugh, “Ha-ha-ha…”
Because I know he wouldn’t do anything. Pfuit.

*goblok: Indonesian term means “stupid idiot”

Crush Calculator

I’ve just visited Harvey’s blog and found on his latest post something called ‘Crush Calculator’ of which the author claimed that you could calculate the one you like’s feeling. All you gotta do is just typing your full name and 3 people you like. But instead of calculating their crush on you, they just fooling you around by sending the names you type to the one who suggest you to fill that fake calculator.

Well, about one year ago a dear friend of mine also popped the same trick one me. Well, me as a naïve one (no protest :p) excitedly jumped and typed my full name and ones I like into that box without read the disclaimer box correctly.

And when I clicked “Calculate!”

Owh shit! I’ve been fooled. OMG.

You know why I was so frightened? Well yes, because I typed guys names as the ones I like. Arrrgggggghhhhhh. And the thought that the submitted form was sent to one of my straight friends absolutely scared me. Geeeeezzzzz, what my friend would say if they know?????

I abruptly cancelled all my tasks that day, just to meet that friend of mine whose quiz fooled me. After a few blah blah blah and bleh bleh bleh, I (luckily) finally made him sure that I was just joking with that quiz. I also said that I’ve known such trick before and just played on him by filling guys’ names in those boxes. And lucky me he’s kinda unadorned and well…long to short, he just thought it was funny. *my heart was beating so fast in relieve*.

Oh well…

Filler... Filler...

Found this in one of my friend’s blog and I think it’s nice to share it here with you guyz. So you can comprehend what you really feel toward someone =)

*When you LIKE someone, you want to have him for your own egoistic reasons.
*When you CARE for someone, you want him to be happy and not for your own self.
*When you LOVE someone, you will do everything for his happiness, even if you have to sacrifice your own life.

*When you LIKE someone and be with him, then you will ask “May I kiss you?”
*When you CARE for someone and be with him, then you will ask “May I hold you?”
*When you LOVE someone and be with him, then you will hold his hands tight…

*LIKE is whenever he cries, you will say “It’s all right, don’t cry.”
*CARE is whenever he cries, you will cry together with him.
*LOVE is whenever he cries, you will let him cry on your shoulder and you say “Let’s solve it together.”

*LIKE is when you see him you will say, “He’s handsome and gorgeous.”
*CARE is when you see him you see him through your heart and not your eyes.
*LOVE is when you see him you’ll say, “For me he’s the greatest gift God gave me..”

*When the one you LIKE hurt you then you will be furious and don’t want to talk with him anymore.
*When the one you CARE for hurt you, you will cry for him.
*When the one you LOVE hurt you, you will just say, “It’s okay, he just doesn’t know what he has done.”

*When you LIKE him, you will PUSH him to love you.
*When you CARE for him, you will LET HIM DECIDE.
*When you LOVE him, you will always WAIT for him with all your faith and sincerity.

*LIKE means you will accompany him when it worth for you.
*CARE means you will accompany him when he needs you.
*LOVE means you will accompany him whatever you do.

*LOVE is demanding.
*CARE is about giving and receiving.
*LOVE is about giving with all your sincerity.

Oh, I LIKE the right guy in the picture by the way, the one with the pale blue tuxedo, lol.

Finally

Yesterday…

I told STUPIDO that I’m also gay.

Well, not directly. But still.

When I checked my trevvy (formerly known as sgboy.com) account yesterday and browse through the docklet, I accidentally reckoned this picture of him, which I’ve already familiar, laying there, on the random profile generator. For your information (which I don’t think it’s a necessity, I believe you all already knew trevvy before), trevvy always displaying random profile on the main page. It’s some kind of member advertising though. And it really was a coincidence, indeed, that his profile was displayed on the random profile generator, right when I browse through my account.

I opened his profile, and maybe part of me was a bit nonchalant of the prospect of him knowing me and my gayness, I sent him a PM. Wanted to know how he would react to that.

>Subject: Hm….
>Are you STUPIDO??

I don’t really care if he would act ice-cool as if nothing happened or avoiding me because of that. I don’t care. I didn’t do it on some special reasons (like breaking him up wif Ca or make him afraid, for instances). It was just an impulsive urges to do so.

Nah, I just want to see his expression when he sees me tomorrow.

Today, the same time, the same place…

I checked at my trevvy account once again, and I noticed I get few kisses and one PM. Anxiously I opened my inbox to see my PM, and there, STUPIDO replied,

>Subject: Re: Hm…
>Hehehe, yes, it’s me ;-)

Yah, he knows me now. Not a big deal actually.

Yay! I’m Back

I’m really sorry for the late updates to this blog. My internet connection was really bad this last week. You know, I even couldn’t open the blogger homepage. Pheww, the problem is over, finally… That d*** ‘lelet’ internet connection, always makes me mad….

Yah, hope this fast connection will last long^^

Men vs Women: Bermain Api

Recently I’ve been thinking…

I dunno what’s wrong with me, really. I can attract women easily (yah, well maybe not that easy, but still) but it seems my attraction qualities aren’t useful against men.

I never do flirting thingie on women though. I never did. But they still saying that I’m sweet, understanding, not demanding, etc etc, and they like me because of that! (Yah, well, it’s not peculiar that I’m sweet and understand girls’ feelings, I’m gay after all)

And now, in my uni there’s this girl, I call her LIN. My friends told me at times, she has a ‘feeling’ for me. Well, since last year, I can say that we quite close somehow. I often asked her about the assignments, the tutorial, and many more because we were in the same class back then. But I never give her, even any subtle signal back, that I like her, I swear. Especially for that I’ve already aware of my gayness, so I try not to ‘bermain api’ with girls feelings. I don’t want to give her any hope, even slightest one that I might be with her. I don’t want to deceit her or myself. I believe in karma, you know. Now I chose men than women to be with me. And I get along with it.
Back to the story, this condition is now become more severe. That is because my friend Lim. My close friend, Lim, boasts that I AM NOW DATING LIN against the real fact that I’m actually not. He even said that in front of LIN. Gosh. And when I saw LIN’s face when Lim said this, she smiled! I know this was a bad sign, because she has NEVER smiled like that before, when anyone told her a gossip that A guy or B guy liked her. In such cases, she would just silent and showed that sullen (a.k.a ‘cemberut) face. I inferred from that smile, the gossip of her having a ‘feeling’ for me is true.
This few days, she also sends these short messages,

“Good night… Have a nice dream and sleep tight ^^”

“Chris, I want to have lil’ chat… Did you know Al said something about me? Blablablablablablablablablablablabla”

And many more… I know she just try to have conversations with me. And I, being well-mannered, of course reply her with such a good and diplomatic answer, not letting myself plunge into man-o-woman kind of relationship (as what STUPIDO has with Ca).
Owwwwh, I wish that my self-persona is more useful against men x-)

Confession of a Broken Heart

Remember when I told you in my post about STUPIDO is now dating a girl named Ca? This post is related to that post, so if you haven’t read it yet before, I recommend you to read it before read this one.

Today as usual I met Ca at my uni, in my spare time between those laboratorial sessions which took all day long. It has been my habit, since the first time we quite close, for making fun of each other. Yah, at first we mocked each other out la, especially there was also my friend Lim, who also has the same hobbies of ‘ejek-mengejek’ so the mocking session was so uproar, haha. I said that she’s fatty lah, and many other names and she responded by calling me skinny and what what else. I hate when she started mock me about the gossip of me dating a girl friend of mine, Lin (that’s another story which I’d like to tell you later).
But after that, her expression became serious. She said she wanted to tell me something but kinda hesitate to do so. So I kept nagging her about that and told her that I would zip my mouth if what she’d tell is actually a secret. Lim also espoused me by told Ca that we two have mastered in romance relationship and that perhaps we can help her solve her problems.

So the story began… She told me that she’s not happy for being with STUPIDO. And somehow she regrets the choice she made back then, for being wif STUPIDO. She told me, that dating with STUPIDO is no more than common friend relationship. She asked us will it do any better if she breaks up with STUPIDO.
These are small picks of her saying which really getting through my mind,
“Please you two teach him…”
“Teach him what?”
“Teach him to be a real man.”
“What do you mean Ca? What real man?”
“I dunno, it’s seems as we two aren’t a dating couple. All I feel is our relationship is no better than a friendship.”
…………………………………..

I pity her though. Really. At that time, it was really HARD for me not to tell her this: “For God’s sake, he’s gay!!! He just uses you as a concealer for his gayness. Broke up with him Ca, otherwise you would suffer even more… Please… break up wif him. It’s really for your own good” Shit!

My heart ached to see her like that. But instead of yelling her that whole truth, all I can do for her was just telling her that she should ask STUPIDO about where this relationship will go. And she should also tell him what actually she expects from him, now that she and STUPIDO are dating.
I didn’t envy nor jealous at all at their fake relationship (thanks to STUPIDO for merely acting as a straight man), all I want to say is: What the points of him for dating a girl if he actually couldn’t make her at least enjoy the relationship itself. Even if he only makes her as a concealer, at least show her a little respect and attention. Don’t let her suffer like this. It’s such an egoistic thing to do.
Drenching my curiosity of how they two dating, I also asked her how many times they two go on a date, just the two of them. And guess what? She told me that they only made it once, to the cinema, watching a movie, yesterday. Oh, what a date…..

Das Boobs: a Peek through Her Heart

“One of my girl friends is feeling generous today; she lets me peek through her heart, literally.”

Yesterday I went to the church with a bunch of friends. They are Ren, Li, Ty, Sa, and Nez. And as usual, after we attended the Holly Mass there, we would feel a bit hungry. So there we were, discussing about the restaurant choices. And at last, we finally decided to try the new restaurant near my dorm. Part of it because we heard that after 7 o’clock in the evening, there would be a half price discount there, lolz.

The restaurant wasn’t too crowded that night. And there at the restaurant, we sat at the 6-person dinner table. And then Li chose to sit in front of me. Li wore a bit tight denim jacket tonight. And perhaps because the restaurant’s ambience was so warm and cozy, she felt a bit sweaty. She took of her jacket. And inside, she only wore a thin I-dunno-what-to-call-it-in-English some kind of ‘baju kutang’, that kind you only wear if you want to sleep at home if you know what I mean. Sleeve-less and of course a bit loose. Owh, this girl is so skanky…kekeke.
You must have guessed what happened next, while she ate, she bowed at times. At first just slight bow. But time after time, she bowed more and more deep. Gave me a free look to her boobs (her boobs were just a bit covered by her breast-supporter by the way, lolz). Gosh, fortunately I’m gay. Other (ab)normal male-species would just take advantage at my position. You can even take a picture of her boobs while she bowed quite long lho because she really didn’t paying attention to the surrounding at all while she ate. Ah, ah, she was really lucky that I’m such a guy with a great decency, hahaha.

The Coffee Chronicles

Among many kind of drinks, I love coffee oh-so-much, so when I find these interesting pics, I want to post it here so you can also see.
Pity me, there's no such artistic coffeeshop that serve this kind of coffees here in Indo, huhu...

The curly half and half pattern...

The romantic choco de la heart...

The romantic milky sunset...

The fabulous hibiscus...
Yummyyyyy.....*drool*

NUS Presentation

I’m sorry for my sporadic presence in blog these days, there’s so much to do in my uni (assignments, exams, additional tasks, etc etc) but so little to tell (I’m sure you don’t want to hear my sighs about such a heavy workload I have, do you?). Today is not an exception, busy busy busy all day. Here I checklist my job for today:

ü Study for my exam tomorrow (Gosh, the book is so thick! It’s waiting to be touched. Moreover it’s the lecture that needs an extra effort for you to be understood because of its complexity. And the exam will cover HALF of the book. Ooooh shoot me *unconscious*).

ü Prepare the Computer Laboratory for my senior’s exam today.

ü Scan and send those passports (those are my lecturer’s passports) and his ID cards. Geez, he has 7 passports!! What did he use them all for??!!

ü There’s people from NUS (National University of Singapore) coming to give some seminar and I AM the one who was expected to documenting the seminar.

The last one, is one I wouldn’t mind to do. There are two people from NUS, Mr. Subudjang Kawi (whose the name I knew later on from that brochure), and Mr. Dunno-what-his-name-with-bald-head. They two are coming here, to Indonesia to offer scholarship programs for Post-Graduate students in my uni. Yah, as usual, as a documentation and liaison official, I took pics here and there.
Hey, I found dat Mr. Kawi is quite good-looking for a man of his age, hehehe, so I just being naughty and misused my official status a bit. I started to take quite many pics of him. Just for fun. And I think that Ed might like him though, since he kinda resembles a straight friend of mine who Ed used to like. Here I post few of them, so you could see.

He is about 35 y/o or above I guess, with white skin, slanting eyes, and not fat body type. I say, he’s a mature Singaporean typical, which you rarely never meet in Indonesia. So I think it wasn’t peculiar if I got quite excited.

About the seminar itself, I can say not much to tell. You must know what it was like la, so I wouldn’t write about it here. I didn’t have a chance to meet Ed and gossiping about this, so I hope I could meet him soon, hehehe.

Ah, now I just realized that I’m so tired. I’ll write more posts later then…*yawn*

P.S: Ed, are u interested? =p

Mirror Mirror on the Wall

Once, Ed and I concluded that one characteristic of gay men is their fondness to the mirror. That every time a gay man meets a mirror, wherever it is, he will have an urge to see his reflection, at least once. The thing is no different with me, I like to see my reflections on a mirror (a big one especially, lol) and make sure that I don’t get mis-‘apparel’ or mis-‘hair’ that day. Yah, for me, mirror is one of the greatest inventions of the humankind, haha.

There’s this one hunk in my major building (we share our building with other major in our uni) who I like to see. He’s somehow stylish and dashing, have a proportional body and face, but unfortunately, with a well-tanned skin (which I don’t really like, hehe). Ya, for simplicity, in this post I will call him HUNKY. Every time HUNKY passes, I would like turn-my-head and take peeks on him surreptitiously. Part of it because I'm not really sure that he’s actually gay (I just suspected him). And part of it of course, because I don’t want to attract the attention from others when I see him through.

Long story short, few days ago in the morning, when I stood on the hallway (where he usually passes) wanna get to the bath room. Someone suddenly talk loudly,

“Woi, see your reflection on that mirror AGAIN?? Gosh, you always do that.”

And you might guessed who I saw stood-in-front-of-the-mirror-on-the-other-side-of-the-hallway-with-that-cute-shy-smile, well of course, it was HUNKY. Busted! I was like laughing out loudly to myself that time. Well, one more evidence found.*grin*

And this is happened just yesterday…

As usual, I passed on a mirror at the hallway near the bathroom, and being coquettish, I stand in front of that mirror and started to admire my self reflection, hehehe. And of course, being too full of myself till I didn’t see anything around me, I didn’t see there’s someone, bent near the bathroom’s door, tied his shoe. While I was still admiring my-own-narcisstic-self, that guy leaned and then stood up, of course, he saw me. And guess what?! That guy was HUNKY. OMG.

There we were, standing there awkwardly, he saw me (he kinda surprised) and I saw him (I really surprised!). Well well well, one good chance to ruin my cool image, and it happened in front of HIM. Awwwhhh. And then I, felt too ashamed, walked away without saying anything.

When I told Ed about this in the afternoon, he said,

“Yahh, why didn’t you smile and then introduce yourself to him?? It was a really good chance!”

Yah, after I think about it, I must admit ED’S RIGHT! Awhh, why didn’t I ask him who his name is? Silly me.

Blog Face Changing (Again...)

If you notice, there’s a change in my blog’s face from today on. Yea, finally I reckoned that my blog’s face is too gloomy and somehow give you dark ambience. Nah, I’ve replaced that gloomy background with this picture which is radiating more ‘spring’ ambience, hehehe. Through so long research and browsing through Google, I finally made up my mind and chose this one.

Do you like it guyz??

Please leave a comment or two… I’d appreciate your opinion =)